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The dark haired Valkyr had spent hours tossing and turning, coming to the realization that he wasn't going to get any rest, yet again. Baptiste rarely slept as it was due to the nightmares he'd had ever since Roseline and Noe trapped him and held him captive for years. For a long time after getting his freedom back, every time he closed his eyes, it was their faces he saw. So, for a long time after realizing that, Baptiste did whatever he could to keep himself awake. And, he guessed it had kinda royally screwed him from ever sleeping properly again. He was lucky to get a ten minute power nap these days. The rain tapping the tin roof top helped him rest his eyes just for a little while, but just like any other time, closing his eyes meant revisiting things he didn't want to. Tonight he'd been thinking about Jason, and the memory began the same way it always did.
Baptiste could see Jason's eyes close as he was taking his very last breath. The feeling of doom that Bap had felt on that elevator, knowing he'd either have to turn Jason, or let him go as he died, was something the Valkyr still felt to this day. Baptiste heaved as he began breathing heavily, and pouring sweat. It was as if he'd gotten stuck in that memory each time he relived it. His hands clenched the sheets tightly enough to rip them a little, and his body tensed so much that it hurt. Still, that moment played without skipping a beat in his head. He even saw Jason's smile, the last moment he was with him. How betrayed he felt when he returned to an empty apartment later that day, but also how scared he was to realize Jason's belongings were still in place. He wasn't sure if Jason had left him, or if something had happened to Jason, and both thoughts revolved around the fact that Baptiste had literally only just turned him. Being out there alone as a newbie, scared Baptiste, he knew Jason had struggled with blood lust, and Baptiste was helping him through it, but the day Jason disappeared, was the day that Bap got his first taste of blood lust as well. Baptiste had went out that night to drink and forget about how incredibly fucked up he felt, when he met another Valkyr named Koona, who'd shown him how to let go, and in doing so, Baptiste ended up killing someone by accident.
Slamming his fist into the mattress, the Valkyr got to his feet, and treaded to the bathroom, gripping each side of the counter as he looked into the mirror, someone he couldn't recognize staring back at him. He was lost, and had no idea where to go, what to do, or who to trust. He'd only met one or two other people lately that didn't make him feel completely beside himself. 1: Sunmin. Whatever it was about the Celestial, made Baptiste want to protect and help him, but he also really enjoyed Sunmin's company, and had planned on getting him to stick with Baptiste for as long as he would. Though, he knew that wouldn't come without struggle. 2: Lydia. While he didn't know jack about her except for how flawless and perfect she seemed when putting the weight of her fist into a punching bag, there seemed to be something about her, that the Valkyr couldn't leave alone. Aside from those two? Baptiste was pretty isolated, and didn't mind. Jason had either betrayed him, or something bad had happened to him, and it was much easier to assume he betrayed Bap.
After getting himself together, and collecting his thoughts, the Valkyr stood underneath his shower head, letting boiling hot water, work his tensed muscles until he felt satisfied enough to get out. Dripping his way back to the bedroom, Baptiste threw a black tank top on, a black polo sweater, faded red and black jeans, his grunge boots, and a leather jacket, topping it off with his grunge boots. For whatever reason, he had to go to the castle today. Baptiste had only ever been called over when one of the othe Valkyr's needed some guidance. And, since he knew that wasn't the case, he couldn't help but feel a little rattled up inside. His nerves simply making him nauseated. The weather had changed dramtically since the last time he had saw Jason, and as the frigid cold wind made contact with the Valkyr, he couldn't help but frown. Was Jason somewhere cold and dark, starved and scared? He would have done anything, just to know he was okay.
Feeling his blood boil to those thoughts yet again, Baptiste sped off on his bike, arriving to the castle within a matter of moments from where he resided. For what seemed like ages, he stood outside the castle doors, pacing back and fourth. A guard had finally approached him however, asking if he was okay once they realized who he was. Baptiste nodded, and forced a smile "I'm fine. Just here to see Gideon" he said simply, but in a gentle tone. Baptiste had always been humble, but lately everything with Elias, then with Jason.. he didn't know how much longer he could hold onto that humble side of himself. He had finalyl worked up the courage to go inside, where he discovered it wasn't Gideon he was meeting at all. He could sense him from a mile away, his scent enveloping Baptiste and spinning him inside out.
"Bloody hell. I shouldn't be here" he breathed out heavily. Baptiste refused to take one more step through this castle. He'd walked far enough apparently, because he was sure Jason was here somewhere. But then, what did that mean? HE had been here all along? The thought of that completely enraged Baptiste, and with that, he'd stormed on through the castle, finding himself standing in the very room the scent came from. Baptiste blinked several times, coughing as he found himself choked up by the person before him. Blinded by rage, Baptiste reacted the only way he knew how, when he blurred over to the blonde Valkyr, and pinned him to the wall. "Tell me why!" he shouted at him, hitting the wall, just beside his face. "After everything!" he then added, no longer using his hands to pin the blonde, only using the weight of his own body, to avoid trapping him in place. He knew all to well what being captive felt like. But, as mad as he was, he knew how dangerous he would become if he didn't distance himself, which wouldn't happen either, because he needed answers. He needed them now.
Baptiste's nostrils flared as his hands flexed into fists, while he stared into those mesmorizing blue eyes of his, his own dark optics full of hurt and confusion. "Go ahead, take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere" he finished off, and averted his gaze. He couldn't even look at him right now. Whatever had happened to Jason, Baptiste was more than willing to hear about, but God help him if he admitted that after everything, he just up and left Baptiste. He couldn't help but shake the look on Jason's face though, and knew him like the back of his hand. Haunted. That was the word that came to mind when he looked at him. If someone had hurt Jason, .. No, he couldn't think that way. Baptiste features had suddenly lit up with a sinister smirk as he waited for Jason to speak. He would kill someone over Jason to this day, and it scared him not knowing what the other Valkyr was about to say.
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Baptiste allowed his mind to replay memories of the past. Things he had done for Jason, and to save his life, defied Baptiste as a man of God. He had gievn everything to keep his lover alive back then. The day Jason vanished, so did Baptiste's trust for men. He would never again let another in, nor would he choose to trust another partner when it came to such relations. Had he have sent word to Baptiste, a letter.. ANYTHING.. then maybe.. just maybe he wouldn't feel this much hatred. But, here they were. Baptiste truly did feel blinded by rage. He couldn't see past Jason leaving to reason with him right now.
Hearing him utter the word 'sorry' made the Valkyr react in a strange way. Baptiste laughed, as if it wwrre the funniest thing he'd ever heard. He hated the word sorry, because it was used so lightly. People could committ the most evil sins and say sorry, and mostly be forgiven. Bap was done forgiving those who had wronged him though. Even if God had always forgiven him for the things he'd done .. he was simply to exhausted to continue doing it for others, which made him realize, the only one who could actually forgive evilness was God himself, and Baptiste was no where near a God.
After he contained his laughter, the Valkyr lowered his hands, to make the frailer looking Valkyr feel less intimidated. It pained Baptiste to see fear in Jason's eyes, even if he did loath him right now. When he began explaining, but stopped midway, Bap shook his head, and folded his arms, collecting himself just enough to prepare to listen, but found himself frustrated when Jason finished with the word 'but'. "But what Jason? Tell me... because you only have this very moment to do so.." he warned, making it clear he wasn't going to stand here and listen to all the reasons Jason had vanished from his life without a single word of goodbye.
Before Baptiste really knew what was going on, Jason had done pushed him away, which resulted in Bap stumbling, catching himself against the wall behind him as Jason blurred over to his bed, continuing his explanation; one that hit Baptiste harder than anything ever had. The words coming form Jason's mouth spun Baptiste, and nearly broke him right then and there. "Why would a friend from school.. WHO LIKED YOU.. do such evil things to you Jason?!" he yelled back, frustration shared equally among both of them. Baptiste treaded over to the bed, but slowly, when Jason shouted out that he'd held his head strong for Baptiste. "And what, you thought ll this time that I didn't have to conjure up plenty of strength to keep going on? I'm glad you werre strong for me.. but what did you think you were coming back to?" he asked, before sitting inches away from him on the bed.
The Valkyr ran his hands over his face and through his hair, sighing loudly. He wanted to keep his cool and remain collected until Jason said 'to think that you loved me'. Standing again, Baptiste walked over to him calmly before wrapping his fingers around the other Valkyr's chin, and squeezing tight, that way he'd have to look at him for the next words Baptiste would speak. "You think you get to play that card on me Jason? Really? After everything that I did.. after going against everything I ever believed in to be with you, and going against the very path my father made for me... saving your life!" he didn't yell this time, but his tone was certainly full of the same rage that his eyes held as he stared into the eyes of a man he believed betrayed him. "When you disappeared, you took everything with you! So don't .. don't ever take this and make it a way to speak about the love I had for you.. because that was real" he grimaced, and let go of his jaw, because he was sure if he squeezed any tighter, he'd break more bones than Jason had already suffered.
"I looked for weeks. How was I meant to know that I need to search your ex lovers place to find you?" he then asked, and began pacing the room. When Jason blurred back over to him, Baptiste held himself against the wall, to keep from becoming agressive. Seeing Jason rip his own shirt off, made the Valkyr frown. He was a wreck, mentally and psychically both. But it hurt that he didn't acknowledge how much pain Baptiste had endured himself all of this time. "Jason settle down.. i'm sorry" he started off, with his head held low. Baptiste had turned his back to Jason however, nealry clinging to the wall against him because he refused to shed a single tear within Jason's eye sight. But, he couldn't help but feel disgusted seeing all the marks and bruises on someone he had loved almost more than himself at one point in time.
After a servent brought blood to Jason, it dawned on him that he was also now dealing with blood lust. "So what, you were starved to death almost, and now you can't control it?" he asked, but he really didn't need an answer, because he could see the way Jason's eyes darkened the moment the blood was delivered, and how he seemed ready to devour every drop of it like he was a first timer. "I'm greateful to Gideon.. to know that he killed that psychopath and rescued you.. are you safe now?" he wondered; because for all they knew, his ex had friends to do his dirty deeds. "Your ex partner doesn't sound like a stable person, there must be something .. I just don't understand.. if he liked ou in school, why do this to you? Because you moved on with someone else?" he asked, clearing his throat, wondering if he was the cause of this. Perhaps Jason had been captured because he'd decided to love Baptiste rather than the man who captured him.
Baptiste was heaving, his chest rising as quickly as it fell and he'd started feeling light headed. The walls in this room were closing in on him, and Jason was to close to his reach with all th anger he still felt. "I can't be here" he flexed his hands into fists but never once peeled his gaze off Jason the moment he was finally able to look at him again. "night time is approaching, let me take you to my bar." he expressed, feeling himself shaking as hunger had settled in for him as well. Using the excuse to come to the bar with him, would allow Baptiste to keep an eye on Jason, and feed on the drunks who were too intoxicated to remember it the next day. That was his way of killing two birds with one stone.
Jason was well within his rights to be angry with Baptiste, and he had every right to feel traumatized. Baptiste had jut been so used to let downs and disappointments with relationships, that for all this time, he had assumed that Jason just up and left him without even having enough decency to say goodbye. To hear the truth about it all, floored the Valkyr, and made him beyond angru to think Jason had been through all that torture, at the hands of another male. "I'm sorry Jason, I should have known something was up.. I should have searched harder.." he admitted, and his lower lip trembled as guilt washed over the Valkyr.
He watched Jason struggle for a moment, and felt a lump forming in his throat. Bap reach out and cupped the other Valkyr's chin "breathe Jason, you're not there anymore. You're here, and i'm right here with you" he spoke it softly, because he noted the way Jason jumped every time Baptiste yelled. When Jason mouthed the words 'to think you loved me' Baptiste fell into an awkward laughter. "I mean, saving your life was no sign of loving you at all I guess. Going against evrything I believed in, also no sign of loving you. You really should guard your words Jason." he warned, but felt a litle guilty for man handling him the way he had so far. "I didn't mean to hurt you" he added as he began nervously twiddling his thumbs.
Baptiste froze, unable to move a muscle after Jason blurred over towards him, only to rip his shirt off, to show Baptise that his fles was a battlefield of scars and bruises. Baptiste let his masculine frame fall against the wall, his head lulling back as he closed his eyes unable to make eye contact with Jason, seeing him that shattered, completely broke Bap himself. When the Valkyr finally peeled his eyes open, he couldn't help that tears fell down his cheeks. He knew that kind of cruelty from his time spent with Roseline and Noe. It hurt beyond expression to see someone else ever endure that kind of torture and sadism.
"Jason you're going to slip between the cracks if you don't get the blood lust under control." Baptiste walked over to him, but slowly and cautiously. He knew Jason was pretty damaged form everthing he had endured, and Bap's temper wouldn't help by any means. "I can't even fathom what you've went through and I get it, you're making up for what you were deprived of, but you're not seeing this through my eyes.. you're drinking too much" he sttaed, hoping Jason didn't think he was judging him. It's just, from one Valkyr to another, Baptiste knew the chances of Jason falling into addiction. "Do you really want to become a vampire? A soulless monster who gets put down like an animal? That's what they're doing with the rogues.. I will help you, but you have to let me" he added, and swallowed the lump in his throat. After watching Jason consume so much blood, Bap had began craving it himself. He hadn't fed in days now. He supposed he should stop neglecting himself in that sense, because he now realized how weak it made him.
Jason had once meant everything to Baptiste, and he couldn't say he didn't mean a lot to him still. He just had so much to explain to Jason, things that would without a doubt hurt him. And he figured he would take him back to the very place they met, to explain it all. It was a relief when Jason said 'let's go'. Baptiste placed his arm around Jason's shoulder and led them to a cab. The drive over to the bar was mostly silence, and certain temptations running wild for Baptiste himself, but he had remained i control, for the sake of one man; Elias. After the cab stopped, Baptiste exited after paying the driver, and opened Jason's door for him, holding his hand out, to walk Jason into his bar.
Once they were safely inside, Baptiste locked up, and turned the neon sign on the door, to the side that said closed. "It's just us" he stated, hoping it didn't surprise Jason too much. "I just have a lot to explain. And, should you feel like getting angry, then ill be the only one around for you to hurt. No need in having a bar full of people with us both having tempers" he chuckled, and fixed them both a drink, followed by putting the music on, and dimming the lights.
Baptiste could tell he was hurt. Even in spite of the forced chuckle that had just escaped Jason's lips. "I'm really sorry Jason, don't assume you don't mean anything to me, you still mean just as much as you did before I lost you. But, to assume you were dead, or that you left me for another man, was the only thing I could put in my mind to keep myself sane. Moving on wasn't easy. I didn't go without looking for you either, it's just, I didn't know where else to search, I moved on because if I hadn't,I would have become addicted t blood, and I would have turned into an animal. A man like me? Becoming victim to blood lust? Do you know how toxic that would be?" Baptiste had always tip toed around feeding, because he knew if he ever got a little too much, that he'd go all in.
Baptiste looked down to his chest, after Jason pushed him back again. He could see Jasn was unhinged, and maybe Bap's presense, and the words Baptiste spoke, was only making matters worse "If i'm such a burden to you Jason, just say that" he started with a warning expression "Otherwise, don't push me away again" he added, glaring at Jason just as bitter as he'd been glaring at Baptiste. "While you may have went through psychical torture, and more hell than I did during your absence, there still wasn't a single day that went by where I had peace of mind, and I didn't spend a single night without crying myself to sleep. After a while I gt tired of feeling empty and I .. " he couldn't bring himself to say certain things still. It's not like he wanted to hurt Jason, and it's not like old memories of him and Jason being happily in love didn't nag at his present thoughts.
Baptiste allowed Jason to yell and get all his frustrations out but he couldn't refrain from balling his fists up. "I know you wanna control it. And you will. I'm not losing you to blood lust Jason, I lost you to much worse, I won't lose you to something we can fight together. I know ive hurt you by moving on, but that doesn't mean i suddenly become a stranger in your life... ill still be the dominating asshole you knew before you were taken" he expressed, "And I won't let you go through this alone. Does Gideon know about your blood lust issues?" he questioned curiously, most Valkyr got rehabilitated when the issue was caught soon enough.
Bap sighed when they got inside of the bar, and after both of them were seated and Jason told him he could begin because they had all night, the Valkyr frowned before reaching over for Jason's hand. He could barely look at him, as he began to speak, knowing the truth would just hut him, but it had to happen. "The truth is Jason, when i said that I moved on, it wasn't just from loving you, it was ... well I.." Baptiste hit the top of the bar roughly, frustrated with himself that he couldn't find the right words to speak, when he needed them most. "I found someone else" he added after downing a few shots of whiskey one after another.
"It wasnt easy, but you should know this because he's bound to pop up sometime" he mentioned, wanting Jason to know before Elias ended up showing up and kissing him or something, and then Jason letting his temper cause a fight. "When you were taken away I thught Roseline and Noe took you.. with that in mind, I know how savage they are, and I knew they'd kill you. So thats sort of another reason I forced myself to move on. They are back... by the way" Baptiste hung his head low for a moment after telling Jason what he'd told him so far. This was going to be a long night, so Baptiste took a few more shots. He never drank, so he could only imagine he'd end up drunk before long. "So this person who took you.. you think he did it because he fancied you back in school, or was it something a little deeper than that? Please know, we're here so we can be open.. tell me whatever you need to tell me." Bap hoped Jason knew he wasn't going anywhere, and that they needed the truth of everything to come out before either of them would even start to heal. Especially Jason.