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One look at his suite and anyone can tell he did some cleaning. Everything was spotless, the kitchen, the bathroom, even his bed was tidied up properly, the floorboards had no smudge of dirt or dust to accompany it. Why? Because Eun took the liberty to clean the entire place earlier this morning. He could've just requested for a housekeeping service for this but he just felt the motivation to do some cleaning and once the elder Moon gets motivated to do something, he never stops until it's done. Which was ironic, considering he's still sticking himself in Evermore even after his client was dead and his case was marked off. What was he doing here again? Right, to investigate. He came to Evermore to take on this case that was specifically requesting for his service, but when the case was marked off following his client's death, Eun knew it was only a matter of time before his superior calls him back home. Home. What a relative term. It feels so foreign to him now, especially with the wedding in five more months. It's an upcoming event that will surely change his entire life but why does he feel so reluctant to set his foot back in his country?
Over the past few months he's been in the eternal city, he's met plenty of beautiful souls, one stood out over the many; Leighton Kingsman, a cute bookstore owner he met when he first came to Evermore. They struck up a friendship that Eun never felt in all of his 29 years of staying. He realized someone many things went by this year but his time was well spent here with the therian. He promised the therian that they would have their sushi dinner the next Saturday after their horseback riding session. When was that? Months ago. Eun was guilty of postponing it from week to week, until it eventually became months. They still contact each other, of course. Eun grew closer to Leigh where he was already so comfortable with telling about his past stories. Sometimes at 2 so 3 am, he was guilty to keep the therian up and awake at such a time but Leigh never told him off. In fact, he only encouraged him to speak his mind even more. Their friendship was close to almost 7 months already and Eun felt like the time flew seamlessly.
7 months should've indicated that he should be back in Korea planning his wedding in 2 more months but after insisting to stay here for work, he persuaded his family to extend the dates. His father wasn't impressed but also got the memo that it was for work so he caved in, and his fiancee's family was understanding which made him even more guilty of lying. If only they knew. But today is Saturday, he woke up early just for this. He cleaned the place up and himself up pretty well. Eun remembered he promised Leigh a Saturday, and today is a Saturday. The day was already stepping into evening, he spent hours in the morning and afternoon to make sure the suite is spotless and the book he promised to bring was placed neatly on the bedside table. Eun quickly got dressed after stepping out of the shower a while ago, and stared at his reflection in the bathroom's mirror as he blow dried his hair and styled it properly. It was supposed to be a casual dinner but he made sure to dress up well because it's been long overdue, and there was nothing wrong with dressing handsomely anyway.
Once he was done, he grabbed the book on the table and put it in the paper bag where another box was also occupying the space. What does it hold? That'll be revealed soon enough. The dhampir wrapped himself in a coat and exited the suite, making his way to the elevator so he can make it to the sushi place in time for his reservation. He greeted the receptionist and securities with a smile and got himself an Uber because he wanted to get there as quick as possible. After a few minutes of small traffic, he finally arrived at his destination, giving his name to the receptionist in charge before trailing behind to his booth. Eun gave his coat to the staff and took his seat, placing the paper bag under the table while waiting for the arrival of his friend.
Leigh had always been ashamed of that part of him, the part that cared so much about what people thought that there had been a point where he truly hated himself and he felt like the only way he could feel better was by taking pills, he could feel himself slipping at the time and yet he kept insisting he was okay when he really wasn’t. Now he knew how to isolate those signs in himself better and mediate them. He wasn’t going to say he was fully recovered because honestly he never thought he would be, there would always be parts of him which ached when he thought back to his past and there were reactions he had which he couldn’t stop. But the difference was that he no longer blamed himself for it, instead, the blamed the people who had hurt him and chipped away at every bit of confidence he had piece by piece.
And this year had taught him something very valuable for his journey, yes, people could tear you down and strip your confidence from you, they could be mean and you could let them get away with it but also you could choose to see the good people who build you up too. Something he was reminded of when Eun told him not to downplay his struggles “When I’m with you I feel like the best version of me and I guess I don’t want you to see anything other than that guy” he admitted and bit on his lip softly because it meant so much to hear Eun say that he didn’t need to hide any parts of himself “I always wanted to tell you I just...never knew how til now” he gave a soft smile towards him. “I do trust you, hell I’ve trusted you from the moment we met, which isn’t like me at all” but with Eun, it kinda made sense because the two of them seemed to just pull one another up, made each other stronger in different ways. His eyes dropped to the hand Eun was holding and he gave a soft smile, it felt right, just like it felt right the first time he grabbed his hand while they were at Winterfest.
Leigh’s eyes softened as he listened to Eun’s fears about his future and what it might have in store and it honestly made him feel so real to the Kitsune, sometimes when he saw Eun he saw this perfect looking guy who was good at so many things and it made him wonder if this person could even be real, was he just the dream man he invented in his head? So to see him be honest about his struggles and so open, that was new but also grounding “You’re not going to lose who you are, no matter what happens you are still you” he’d be damned if the world was able to take that away from Eun because he was such a kind, gentle and funny soul which his parents honestly didn’t deserve. “Yes, you have me” he assured “And you know you will always have Jae, he idolizes you” it only took a few moments for him to see the brotherly bond they shared and how much they meant to each other “Why don’t you take it a little bit at a time and see how it all feels” he suggested, there was no need for him to know right this very second what he wanted when it came to all that.
He definitely felt the way his chest was swelling at the way Eun was talking tonight, it filled him with a sense of hope he had been trying not to let himself have since they met, he knew Eun was engaged to someone else, it seemed pointless to chase him but the more he talked with him, saw his sweet side, how he cared for others, the way he could be vulnerable at times, his silly jokes, 3 am phone calls where they both kept talking because neither wanted to be the one to put down the phone “I’d never reject you, you know that” he responded almost like it was a kneejerk reaction. If any of them had made it clear they were completely enthralled by the other it was Leigh when it came to the Dhampir. His cheeks were about as red as a tomato as Eun finally said those words and his lips parted in surprise “You’re way bolder at saying it than I am” he admitted in a soft voice, his gaze wavered because he wasn’t sure how to word what he wanted to say and every thought felt like it was overlapping “You’re...falling for me?” he spoke softly and allowed a hint of a smile “I’m...falling for…” he didn’t manage to say the words before they were interrupted by the sound of ringing.
Their stories were so similar yet so different. Was that why Eun found solace and peace inside Leigh? Because he offered him the things he wanted the most? At this point, whilst he may not know what are those things that he wanted, he knew that he would do a whole lot better at it with someone like Leigh by his side. No, someone like him. Someone that is Leigh. Eun's never wanted something as bad as that. Hearing Leigh admit all those things only made him tear up slowly from inside, and he wasn't sure whether it was from the sadness that came from the new-found realization he faced or the pride knowing that Leigh battled all of those. If Leigh could, surely he could too, right? "I like all of you, you're real and it gives so much joy and comfort to see that someone could be that around me. Aside from Jae, I've never met someone more real than you. You don't put on a mask and hide away in your shell, you share them." And he was forever grateful that he became the person Leigh chose to share it with.
Having his trust from the moment they first laid eyes on each other? Knowing that made his heart flutter like butterflies, and he knew, this day he finally knew what that expression was and why people used it. Because he felt it too. That thumping sound; the sound of his beating heart raging, egging the dhampir to let out his feelings in the open. While he was staring at their hands held together, he suddenly threaded their fingers together and pressed them against Leigh's hand gently, how he wanted to hold him so much. "The two people who I love most became the same people who cares for me the most… how can people ask me to leave them behind? To leave all of this behind and go back to what I should call home? It doesn't feel right... " He doesn't want it. Leigh's suggestion made him purse his lips slightly and nodded gently afterwards, "I'll do that." It's a first step towards something, at least. He'd rather try to help himself then leave it all to eat him away.
They've shared so many things, so many Eun couldn't count every single thing they've done. This guy that he met 9 months ago, he's the one he wanted to tell everything to. To share, to do them together. At first, he was worried that the therian would reject him outrightly, who knows, right? Thankfully, Leigh affirmed his worries were false, giving him a moment of relief. "I wouldn't know that" he teased, "You overestimate me, Leigh, I couldn't possibly know what you're thinking, no? But I was hoping that you wouldn't… Reject me." He could see the reddish hue dusting Leigh's cheeks and Eun couldn't help but smile at it, it made the other male look so much more endearing, "Have I told you how cute you look when you're blushing?" Was he bolder for being able to say it? Eun only knew he had to say them or he'll end up regretting everything.
"Mhmm… I'm falling for you-" Just as the two of them were about to say those words simultaneously, his phone rang a familiar ringtone, forcing the dhampir to pick it up as he spared Leigh an apologetic gaze. As soon as his gaze fell on the display screen, his smile faltered; father. With a whimper, he accepted it and what was meant to be a good night was again interrupted by an unnecessary distraction. Suffice to say, the words weren't as gentle as anyone would think a father would say to his child.
Both of them were a little emotional tonight, he could see it in Eun’s expressive eyes and a part of him kinda felt like he needed to pinch himself because it honestly felt unreal to him. He knew they had gotten really close over the past few months and that was really important to Leigh but he hadn’t really ever let himself do more than daydream when it came to the idea of more being between them. But tonight it felt like the floodgates he had been holding back til now were about to burst. He lowered his head a little when Eun spoke about what he thought about him, and being real “I guess I just figured I spent so much time in my childhood trying to get people to like me and despite trying they hated me anyway so” he pressed his lips together “After that, I figured that I should just be me” he spoke it softly and lifted his gaze because it definitely meant something to him that Eun liked the person he was without any filters or facades. In fact, when they first met, Leigh had probably been in his worst state and yet they had still somehow become friends.
This whole time, Leigh was having trouble keeping his heartbeat under control because everything Eun said and did only spurred him on further and he honestly felt like this was some kind of dream he would wake up from in a few hours. Leigh hitched his breath as he felt the way Eun threaded their fingers together, it felt so right as their fingers interlocked and rested gently against one another. Almost like they were meant to be together. “People are selfish and will probably tell you for your entire life what you’re supposed to do, like they somehow have the right to weigh in on the things you want and dream about” he shrugged slightly, it wasn’t exactly an unknown thing to the Kitsune either, he had been told many times he was wasting his intelligence because he decided to go into a store owning path rather than a mathematician. He did feel his heart swell a little in his chest when he said the two people he loved the most though, eyes softening because it wasn’t the first time he had heard that word tonight and it made his heart skip.
It made Leigh realize just how deeply he felt for Eun, the male in front of him wasn’t the only thing in his life, but he had become a really important part of it. Eun was the first person he wanted to message in the morning to tell him about his crazy dream or what he was having for breakfast and most nights his voice was the last thing he heard before the Kitsune went to sleep. They spent all the time they could together and while they were both often busy, Leigh always felt his day brighten the moment Eun showed up at the store, with some crazy reason why he needed to be there, though eventually he had given up excusing it and just showed up with a smile. “It doesn’t take a mind reader to notice that I spend most of my life talking to you” he responded with a sheepish grin “Honestly I just thought you were too good for me” perhaps that’s why he never took it any further than that, it almost seemed like he was a teenager with his first crush when he was around Eun.
Him saying he thought he was cute when he was blushing only made Leigh blush harder, pressing his hands against his cheeks as though that could do something to cool the heat which was flushing in them “You’re making it worse” he spoke softly and laughed under his breath, eyes lifting to meet Eun’s as they shared their confessions. He almost felt like his heart sank the moment that he heard the sound of the cell phone and he leaned back against the booth. His heart was still hammering in his chest as he nodded slightly towards Eun as he took the call. Leigh averted his gaze elsewhere, eyes traveling across the room, part of him was glad he couldn’t understand Korean because he didn’t want to eavesdrop on the call, but he did glance over to Eun with concern a few times because the conversation sounded a little curt and perhaps even hostile.
Everything was changing under a short time but Eun couldn't find it in himself to even be upset about it. There were a bunch of emotions all huddled up against one another in his head, right now, and whilst he wasn't sure which one is acting, Leigh made it better by assuring him that he didn't need to live up to anybody expectations others put out for him. No need to torture yourself, Eun, he told himself. Someone else said you can be yourself. All this time, he knew Leigh's been there alongside Jae to tell him it's fine to do things that'll make him happy but he didn't even realize how significant that was to his character progress until now. Not until he was left with one or two choices, at the end of the day.
Tonight had been a day for the dhampir too, he was a mess but he knew those emotions inside him wasn't an act, if anything, he only felt like he could tell the therian everything, on this exact night where they were supposed to spend their sushi date- no, it wasn't a date. Was it? But did he wish it to be one? Perhaps. "I don't get why people would hate you… clearly they've been blind the entire time." Leigh was quite possibly the most humblest man to ever grace the living Earth and Eun was confident enough to keep that statement in forever. "You're a good person, Leigh" Of course, he knew the therian is a good person but the dhampir just felt the need to say it outloud. It needed to be said, he insisted. His feelings for the other male was growing stronger every day and he couldn't find it in himself to hide and deny what it could mean. Not anymore.
Maybe he should tell Leigh about it, maybe then he'll be able to satisfy this curiosity rattling against his chest, wanting to be answered desperately. The way their fingers was interlocked with one another felt so natural, like Leigh's hands actually belonged there; in his own. Eun was aware that his ears was slowly turning red as he slowly confessed because that was the default reaction when he's blushing and flustered, "You don't regret it, right? Spending most of your time talking to me?" He had been so afraid of being seen as a burden to others, and Leigh most of all, his heart could break right there and then. "How can I be too good for you? Aren't you too good for me?" It was ironic seeing how much they thought the same. The longer he stared into his dark hues, the more Eun found himself being captivated by the soft look he had reserved just for him.
How he wished he could've rejected that call, the familiar name on the caller ID was enough to make his blood run cold. He took it nonetheless because how could he swipe the red for his father. What if he called to update about his mother? He spared Leigh an apologetic look as he took it and cleared his throat, answering it with a firm response. He wasn't sure how long had passed because he could feel the fume trying to rid itself in him because every word uttered by Papa Moon wasn't pretty. Eun didn't like it. After a while, he bit his bottom lip and sighed heavily, "미안해, 아빠. 내 일은 내가 여기에 머물 것을 요구한다. 상황이 허락하면 돌아가겠다. 제발... 어머니에 대한 소식을 계속 전해줘 나중에 얘기할게요. (I'm sorry, father. My work requires me to stay here. I'll go back once the situation allows me to. Please... keep me updated about mother. I'll talk to you later.)" he tried ending the call as politely as he could but the teary look on him didn't look as convincing as he slumped against the seat and placed his phone on the left side of his seat.
Leigh definitely felt a lot of different things tonight, as he watched Eun there was this bittersweet feeling inside him which filled him with both hope but also fear, because Leigh knew this wasn’t simple, there wasn’t a simple happy ending the two of them could reach for if they decided to cross this line. But also, did they not owe themselves the knowledge of what it was they actually shared. What was that? That was the question Leigh had been asking himself in his mind, he knew he cared about Eun on a deep level, to the point where he had become the one person he wanted to talk to every day, the person he wanted to share his secrets with. The person he wanted to go on dates with. Thinking about Winterfest and now tonight it occurred to him that they had been doing this dating not not dating dance for a while. They called it friendship and it was, but Leigh knew in his heart that it ran deeper than that and had for a while now.
The way Eun spoke at him definitely made his chest feel fluttery and light because it meant so much to him for the person he cared about this much to say such things about him “My parents always said they were jealous” he responded and nodded slightly “Me...I think they just didn’t take the time to understand me and so all they saw was the weird guy who was stupidly good at math and was obsessed with anime” he nodded a few times “A part of me feels sad for them that they couldn’t see past surface-level” it had taken him a long time to come to this point in his life where he saw blame in others rather than only in himself. He beamed a little when Eun called him a good person, he tried to be, despite the world being cruel to him, which could have easily made him cold and short “If I don’t become a better person in spite of what they did then they win and I couldn’t let that be the endgame” he didn’t want his pain to be the only defining thing about him and the fact Eun cared about him before he even knew about it, told him he succeeded.
It felt right to him, being close to Eun, feeling the way his hands threaded through his, noting how his touch was just a little colder than Leigh’s but also knowing if they stayed this way long enough they would both be equally warm. They got to share that. Leigh had to admit it was new for him, looking back at Eun and seeing the way he was flushed the same way the Kitsune always was, it felt nice to be able to have a little revenge on the other male who always made him flare up. “No, I don’t regret anything when it comes to you” he spoke softly and then dropped his gaze for a moment thinking about whether that was true “Or maybe there are a few things I regret….not saying...but it’s not too late” it did occur to him now that if he left it too much longer it could be too late though “Because you’re you” he spoke softly “Who wouldn’t want you?” his expression softened. Leigh had painted this picture of Eun in his mind that was strong and confident and funny and endearing and honestly he thought he had the whole world to compete with.
“Look at us” he spoke softly as he scrunched his nose feeling a sense of relief come over him when Eun basically echoed his own sentiment, his heart felt like it was beating double time from excitement and surprise at tonight. But then it was cut short as Eun took the call and spoke down the phone. Leigh averted his gaze elsewhere, trying to get control over his breathing as he took in what happened but he couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances at Eun as he heard the harsh words down the phone. He didn’t know what they were saying but he didn’t really need to. Eventually, the call came to an end and Leigh took a look breath, just watching Eun for a moment before he noticed that Eun was trying to hide his tears. Leigh’s brow furrowed in confusion and he looked down at the phone between them before hesitantly picking it up and putting it on the table. He edged closer to Eun slowly and reached up slowly, his hand resting against his cheek, while his thumb slowly brushed a tear from his cheek “Whatever it is, it’s not your fault” he spoke softly and bit his lip softly, waiting to see if Eun wanted to talk about it.
For someone who's never known what love actually meant, to feel a whole new wave of emotions crashing into him was something very new to the dhampir. It had him wondering for weeks, what is this feeling, he'd ask himself. Was it a feeling of longing? Was he jealous when he sees what his brother had here? What others his age had? What he could have had? The answer is yes. And whilst he may not display his disappointment, Eun longed for that very much. A sense of belonging, stability. A genuine reaction. Everyone his age had already gotten married, some even had kids already. What was he doing? It was undoubtedly known that Eun would want to focus on his work first, but that was an excuse he could've used two years ago. Despite being fairly new as a rookie at his post, he's gained tremendous respect for his seniors and juniors alike, he was sought out. It was the reason why he was here in Evermore, in the first place. Because people wanted him.
He realized that he wanted to know what it feels like to be… loved and cherished like how his brother's boyfriend displayed every second of the day whenever he visited them. Oh, how envious he was. Perhaps, that was why he had grown even more intimate with Leigh, someone who managed to make him smile, every time. It was safe to say that whenever Leigh was near, the dhampir would smile. It wasn't even an exaggeration. The times they spent together, all the outings, the calls... Winterfest. How could he forget Winterfest? He was looking forward to this date night for long, no, a dinner date- wait, was this considered a dinner date? And was it bad if Eun wished it was? "I think they saw the version of someone they could've been if they led their lives better… and they hated to see that it's a vision and not reality. So yes, your parents were right, they were jealous of you." Humans have a way of fearing something they don't understand and typically so when it's better than them.
"You are so much more than what you think you are, Leigh. So much more" he mumbled softly, the person he sees, he couldn't possibly stay it outloud in front of the therian, it would've placed a certain pressure and he didn't want that. And perhaps, he's shy. Leigh was pretty much in every picture he dreamt of, the person he wanted to go hiking with, the person he wanted to gush with, the person he wanted to be with. And he's been googling immensely for the past few weeks, searching what this feeling could possibly be described as and he wasn't sure if he was surprised or not, when he saw the answer to every scenario he listed out; love. Had he expected that? A part of him knew it was exactly that. But how could he know for sure if he's never experienced it? If he's never even there to know what it was like? Unlike others, Eun didn't even have something such as first love or first kiss. He had none of it. So he was afraid, that it could be his feelings acting out rebelliously and not actual love. What if he disappointed Leigh? "What's… not too late?"
The dhampir managed to bring his gaze up to stare at the therian with his ears still red and his face very much flushed, hands threaded against the other male's warm ones, "What did you regret not saying?" Who wouldn't want you, why did it hit him so hard? And why did his heart beat faster? Was it an allergy reaction? Eun brought his hand up to clutch his chest instinctively, but the attack never came. What's left was just his heart beating rapidly, all that came out later was, "Would you want me?" The call from his father ruined the mood, it ruined everything Eun had thought out for the night. It was a huge reality slap to Eun again, to remember that he had responsibilities back home that he was currently running away from. But when Leigh moved closer and brushed those tears away, tears he never thought he'd shed again, he could feel his breath hitching halfway. His glassy dark hues stared into Leigh's own with his lips parted slightly, "It's… not my fault?"
The elder Moon sounded so vulnerable it was hard to grasp how this was the same person who saved the male consoling him, right now. He didn't know how he was processing his thoughts, at the moment. The only thing Eun remembered doing was pulling Leigh's arm close and pressing his lips against the therian's.
Leigh gave a slightly sheepish smile when Eun spoke about how people were jealous of him back then “I think it was more that they felt bad about themselves, you know, something bad happening back home or their parents weren’t as kind and understanding as mine and they felt the need to make someone feel worse than they did” which was exactly what they did and he remembered feeling so down and outcast, it truly felt like no one liked him and he still carried those fears even til now. Sometimes even with Eun, he would wonder if the other male was just putting up with him or pitied him but Eun always seemed to find a way to remind him that he wasn’t a burden to him. His compliment made the Kitsune blush softly as he looked back at him “That means a lot coming from you” he admitted with softly, his eyes full of wonder which attributed directly to the man in front of him.
Leigh wondered if it was wrong to feel this sense of hope in his chest because before now he had been burying it down and pretending like he didn’t feel the way he did for Eun, he had downplayed it and told himself it was a silly crush which he would get over with time. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to spend quite literally every moment he could with him, whether that was in the form of a phone call or getting to see him when he dropped into the store, which had only happened more and more the longer they had known one another that it had almost become a routine for him.
He immediately froze up for a moment when Eun asked him to say what he regretted not saying because he hadn’t thought through that admission fully and he wasn’t sure he had the words to say to him. How did you explain to someone that you had feelings for them that went deeper than friendship and that you didn’t care any longer whether they had someone home waiting for them because what you felt for them was so strong that it felt worth the risk. His breath hitched in his throat, feeling dry and scratchy and making him flush brightly “That...uh...that” he didn’t have the words. When Eun asked if he wanted him the Kitsune was about to nod but the call came along to interrupt the moment which made him take a long, panicked breath.
But that didn’t mean he forgot about it while he was talking to the stern sounding male and as soon as he could, he wanted to reassure the other male that it wasn’t his fault, that how he felt and the person he was, wasn’t something he should try to change because someone said so, that he cared for him exactly the way he was “It was never your fault” he assured him softly, his eyes staring back into Eun’s and seeing the sadness in them but then he caught a different, softer look in them just as the Dhampir leaned in towards him, Leigh’s hands were trembling against Eun’s cheek but his eyes fluttered closed as Eun closed the distance between them and then their lips met.
He just remained there for a moment, lips pressed against Eun’s, hand resting gently against his cheek which felt so warm, everything felt so warm when it came to Eun, he wanted to kiss him deeper but he knew exactly what would happen while he was still wearing his glasses so he just remained there for a moment. It felt like a dream, it felt like the man of his dreams had come in and quite literally swept him off his feet and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to come down from this moment. He moved back for just a moment “I’m falling for you too” he spoke softly, not far from his lips, he reached up slowly and took off his glasses, folding them up and putting them on the table, after that, he couldn’t resist taking another kiss, because if this was all they were going to get then he was going to make the most of every moment, this time, he deepened the kiss softly, his hand trailing slowly down Eun’s neck before resting at his nape softly, his whole body was shaking from the elation because everything about it felt so right to him.
"I get that, sometimes people turn out a lot worse than they thought they would simply because things weren't well back home. I don't know… I feel like I used to see that as an excuse. You did that just because things weren't happy back home? Isn't that an excuse?" Eun was being extremely careful while chasing his words, he didn't want to offend Leigh, though from the looks of things, it was clear that Leigh grew up fine under the supervision of his beloved family. Someday, he wanted to have something just like that. Just likr what Leigh had. "You shouldn't bully people just because you feel that's justified, it's not right." And he hated to see that someone so kind as him was done wrong. "You know if I was your schoolmate, they won't dare to bully you, they won't dare to even look at you the wrong way, much less insult you."
Whilst Eun may be hospitable and nice, don't mistake it as anything more than a polite gesture because he knows how he is when it's involving the people he loves and cares deeply for. Leigh was surely that. The significance and hold the kitsune had over the dhampir was immeasurable, Eun really likes Leigh. He wanted to spend more time with him for as long as he could remember. For as long he could hold onto. Every gesture and action the therian did, Eun would eventually swoon. He once wondered why but the more frequent it came to be, the more he realized it was just a reflex. He longs for Leigh. "You know you'll only hear good things coming from me silly… because you are good." Eun hasn't met someone as kind as Leigh, and he's probably met plenty of different types of people.
Eun wasn't anywhere near experienced when it comes to love, much less relationship, but he knows what he feels. Or at least he had a hunch, with the help of Mr Google, the helpful provider. He knows he likes him, everything about Leigh just screams out attraction to him and he has never been disappointed by him. He wondered if Leigh felt the same he did, from all the things he's seen, Leigh seemed very happy to go with him. If he could rank his days from best to worst, today would actually make the list for both, he was initially starting his day being very stressed, in dealing with the arrangements back home and whatnot. But he had that sushi date with Leigh and his mood improved considerably, enough to put a huge smile on his lips effortlessly. But the call ruined that. It ruined his thoughts and imaginations on how the night may turn out.
Just as he was on board with the idea of cheering up tonight, that thought was swiped and thrown away, far from the dhampir. Before he could hear Leigh's answer, his attention was already robbed off. Whilst the conversation didn't last as long, the same couldn't be said about his sour mood. It was never your fault, Eun, Leigh himself said the same thing, he told himself. He felt so disheartened earlier and this did nothing to make it all better at one stroke but it did fuel him to do what he thought was unthinkable. Something he wondered what it may have felt. Eun has only kissed once in his entire life, and he couldn't even call it a real kiss because it was a peck that lasted for 2 seconds maximum. But this, this was it. This was his actual real first kiss. The way his lips were pressed against his soft pillowed ones with his eyes fluttered close to savor this vulnerable moment was euphoric. He wanted it to last forever but it didn't, Eun's lips were curved upwards, forming a small frown with his pouty lips when Leigh pulled away.
What came after blew his mind away, it rendered his breathless, "I-" Surely his words weren't registered properly, not when Eun was taken aback by a second kiss; one that was a lot more passionate. The dhampir moved his head slightly to the side as he leaned to Leigh even more, his entire body gravitating towards the kitsune as he gripped the other male's arm gently. He was seeking more. His body was calling it. But he had to pull away, he needed to know what this is. So he did. It didn't mean he wasn't basking in whatever seconds he had before, it was a big move for him to pull away in which he eventually did after he was so sure he had enough of Leigh. By the time he pulled away, Eun's lips were already jutting out, his entire face all flushed as his eyes widened, "Oh… wow. That was... "
Leigh watched Eun carefully as he talked about what rationale there might be for people to be cruel to others, Leigh had asked that question in his head more times than he could count and honestly, he still didn’t have the answer “There’s no real excuse for being a cruel person” he responded honestly and shrugged his shoulders “But perhaps it would make me feel better to know it wasn’t me personally that caused it” perhaps that was the negative and insecure part of him speaking but that was the question he always asked himself back then, what did he do wrong to make people hate him that way? His expression softened at the way Eun said he would have protected him had they known one another back in school “My knight in shining armor huh?” he grinned slightly sheepishly because he definitely saw Eun that way ever since they met in the book store.
Leigh gave a pointed look in Eun’s direction when he said he would only hear good things coming from him, it really was so refreshing to meet someone who he just seemed to get along with from the moment they met, he never really experienced that with anyone before, probably because he was so shy and that made it hard for him to force himself out of his shell and talk to people he could potentially get along with. The situation which led to both of them meeting was special in that way because there was no avoiding or escaping it, even if it had scared Leigh a lot at the time. Now he remembered it simply as the night he met Sangeun Moon though, that was the most important moment of that day.
Leigh knew for a while now where his emotions were leading him, he had told himself many times over to stop getting in so deep and to stop looking for something he knew he could never really have but how did you stop yourself from feeling something for someone like that? How did you even process it? Leigh had thought for a long time that things weren’t meant to be for him because of the way things fell apart with Radley, from how life had this tendency to leave him on his own, whether that be from people moving away, generally feeling disconnected from people around him or the fact he had lived alone for a long time now. He wasn’t upset about that at all but one thing he did notice was that since he met Eun, so many good things had come into his life afterward and perhaps that had him believing that maybe things were meant to be like this.
Was it stupid and reckless? Perhaps but how could he stop himself, especially as he watched the way Eun was looking into his eyes in that moment, everything swelled in his chest and he felt his mind screaming at him, asking if this was really happening or was he about to get a rude awakening from a dream. The moment Eun’s lips touched his though, everything felt real and while the kiss was over pretty quickly, it was enough to give Leigh the confidence he needed to really go in for the second kiss. The way Eun shifted under his touch felt so natural and inviting, feeling the way he leaned into his body and how firmly he held his arm as they took in the moment. He wanted it to last for far longer than he knew it was but he remained there as long as he could, wondering in his mind if this was real and how he had gotten so lucky, to have a moment he knew he would never forget for as long as he lived.
His eyes were full of emotion as they slowly parted, his gaze meeting Eun’s and holding it for a moment as he tried to gauge how the other male felt about it, he rested his hands in his lips twiddling his thumbs nervously because he had honestly never expected this or planned for it and so he was completely lost for words or even understanding of what this had just become. But with the way Eun was looking at him in that moment he couldn’t bring himself to be overcome by those questions because he saw someone looking back at him with the same depth of emotion he was giving out “Unexpected” he responded, finishing Eun’s sentence, though he wasn’t sure exactly what the Dhampir was going to say which made him curious. It was at that moment he noticed how deeply Eun was blushing which made Leigh purse his lips, suddenly remembering that Eun had told him the night they met that he never even had his first kiss which then made Leigh widen his eyes and blush hard “Was that…?” he didn’t even know how to ask “Your...first?” oh god now he hoped it wasn’t disappointing.
"Sometimes people can't be satisfied with most things, I'm guessing. They bully people trying to make themselves feel better?" When Leigh expressed his relief knowing he hadn't personally caused it, Eun found his eyes softening, how could someone so kind like this exist in this cold and cruel world? Was he simply a gift? Maybe you could learn one or two things from him, Eun, he told himself. "People hate what they can't be. They hate what they can't have. They hate you because you're simply so much better than every single fiber of their being, jealousy is a bad disease." From his view, he wasn't surprised people would be jealous of Leigh. He's smart, kind, humble, a good company, did he also include how much of a good person Leigh was? Yes. "Why not, I think you could have prompted me to crawl out of my shell back then. I was very quiet and kept to myself until a certain point where student body council became a thing and people just kept on… voting."
Oh, he liked being the student body president, it was an honor. But trying to escape a mob of people, that wasn't fun. He does like knowing he could bring happiness to someone's life, even if they were brief. The day he met Leigh had to be one of his best highlights here ever since he set foot in the eternal city, he didn't expect to make friends here. He didn't expect to meet him. Was he grateful that he did? Very. Every time he felt down or slightly upset, suddenly Leigh was there to cheer him up even when he didn't have to. Those long calls at night would forever be embedded in his head. It's going to be one of the best memories about this place. Eun has once again reminded himself that he had pressing matters to attend back home, he had to return soon and settle those. Starting with his engagement.
His wedding was meant to take place this month, but he kept delaying until it was twice to pull the two months part. His father was slowly getting impatient, how could he not? His eldest son is delaying the thing that shouldn't be delayed. All because he wasn't sure if this was what he wanted for his future. What a childish thought. But Leigh and Jae kept telling him it's fine to have those 'childish' thoughts. Now that he knew about Leigh's feelings and his own towards the kitsune, how the hell was he supposed to go home without acknowledging what went down tonight? His conscience would never let him do that. That kiss alone had tied him down. His responsibility. Wouldn't Leigh be one of his responsibilities now?
Eun wasn't the type to go around and kiss people just because he was confused with his feelings. What he felt for the therian was very much real and it was strong enough to overpower his thoughts. But Eun, he kissed back. Surely, that meant Leigh felt the same. But how easy was it to just forget he had a fiancee waiting for him in Korea, and he's here kissing another man? When they parted away, he licked his lips, with his hands trembling under the table and his face flushed from the action earlier, Eun tried to utter something. Anything. But what came out was a strangled whine. The dhampir was officially taken aback. Thankfully, Leigh decided to ask him something, it made the dhampir blush even deeper but at least the atmosphere wasn't awkward.
"Uh… yeah… it is. It's my first real one." He had highlighted that part carefully, his first kiss would have generally been the peck Ahreum gave him during their engagement ceremony. But the real one he wanted to acknowledge? It's this. "I… what do we do now?" he fiddled with his thumbs nervously, biting his lip while looking redder than before. "What are we now, Leigh?" It sounded so innocent it may as well have been his confession.
“Yeah…” he admitted with a soft smile towards the other male “The world is so full of insecurities and doubts and sometimes people want to feel like they’re better than someone else to put their mind at ease” that was the understanding of the situation his therapy had given him, to help him truly believe that it wasn’t someone he ever did to make people hate him but instead this need for them to put someone down in order to feel bigger than they are. The way Eun complimented him made Leigh flush slightly, biting on his lip as he watched the Dhampir while he spoke “It makes me happy when you say things like that with such conviction” there was no doubt in his mind from the way Eun spoke that he was completely serious about it. “It’s hard for me to imagine you being quiet” he admitted with slightly widened eyes, the Eun he had met and come to know was so confident and chatty, it seemed like he was talking about a whole different person.
Leigh was never popular in school even to begin with which meant he never really had much confidence and then after people started pointing out his differences and being harsh to him, that only recoiled to him into his shell even more which meant he then had trouble reaching out to people and making friends. That had carried him through to even today and he still felt like he was unapproachable and hard to understand. He was sure only time and experience could change his mind on that. But meeting Eun had changed him, it was a situation he couldn’t have avoided for one and for two, the other male had just been this bright and warm person from day one, the kind who drew you in and made you want to know more. He never judged Leigh and always treated him the same way Leigh wished everyone would, with a friendly curiosity “So you must have had quite the fan club after you hit puberty?” though it seemed like Eun was bothered by that part.
Leigh had to admit of all the situations he imagined himself being in today, he didn’t expect to be staring back at Sangeun Moon with this look of surprise and admiration on his face as he processed what just happened between them. He felt a little speechless because Leigh had all but told himself he shouldn’t go there. He wasn’t naive in this, he knew that Eun had a fiancee at home waiting for him, albeit, Eun had admitted quite openly that he didn’t love her but it still didn’t change the fact they were betrothed and that no doubts Eun’s family was going to expect him to go back and see it through. Leigh chewed on his lip as he considered what this meant. What did he even want? All he really knew was he wanted to feel closer to Eun, he wanted to know him and be the reason for his happiness. Even if it was only for a limited amount of time.
They both stayed there for a moment, he saw the shock in Eun’s eyes which made him blush because he truly never expected this to happen and yet he didn’t regret kissing him, he didn’t regret feeling like his heart just leapt into the air the moment their lips touched or how completely lost in Eun’s eyes he was right now. The two of them seemed to be completely overcome with emotion to the point they didn’t know what to say and he imagined it was even worse for the Dhampir knowing all the complexities he was going through. The whine made Leigh’s heart clench and eyes soften slightly.
Leigh could feel his heart thumping hard in his chest when Eun admitted it was his first real kiss and he took a moment just to breathe deeply while staring back at him with a soft look “Was it...what you expected?” was he worried about the quality of his kissing? Perhaps, he always seemed to want to impress Eun after all. When the other male asked what they did now and what this made them, Leigh to a moment to just stop and consider his questions “We are Sangeun Moon and Leighton Kingsman” he responded which was his way of insisting that in his mind they hadn’t ruined anything “How about we start there? We can talk all night, we can just be happy for a while, don’t get caught up in the formalities just yet” he didn’t want either of them feel rushed into deciding what this was or make snap decisions they may regret “And once we’re done eating, how about we carry on the evening and I’ll arrange you a meeting with a special someone who can’t wait to know you” of course he meant his dog.
Hearing Leigh say those words, still trying to paint a good picture on the people who probably made his life miserable had his breathing hitched, is this the guy he felt so strongly on? Definitely. The longer he saw how Leigh acted, the clearer he could this resolution before him. Instead of asking how, he's slowly embracing the part where it's saying no wonder. It's enticing. "You didn't deserve that… people don't deserve you" he murmured softly, how could they? Eun rarely painted the world in a negative energy but he knew well enough on what goes on behind the curtains, with the kitsune, however, he just couldn't stop thinking how on earth the world deserves him. "Yeah… it's hard, isn't it? Is it because I'm too loud?" His ears were slowly turning redder than it already was from sheer embarrassment. What if Leigh thought he was mainly so loud?
"I also don't say things I don't mean. I think I'd make the worst liar ever... " But he had also managed to keep things from his parents, so where does that really leave him at? Technically, Eun didn't lie. He just… distorted and evaded the full truth. Perhaps, that was how he survived. He is a lawyer, after all. "If you knew me when I was in school, you would never notice me." Maybe he exaggerated that part, people still noticed him. "I guess you could say, I like leaving a good impression on people. Sometimes people would tease me and call me a good boy." The memory alone was enough to leave the scarlet blush on his cheeks. Why was he admitting such embarrassing moments to Leigh? For whatever reason it is, Eun felt like he could trust Leigh with anything, maybe that's why he was spilling. Aside from his current nervous trainwreck self. It's okay, Eun, it's Leigh, he reminded himself. He had no idea how powerful one's name could be when it comes to reassuring.
"A-after i hit puberty? What was that supposed to mean?" If only his face could be any redder than it was, it could possibly set a new record. He could feel like if the hells were ganging up on him while the heavens giggle. "I mean yes… uh, do you consider people who waits for you and cheers for you… a fanclub?" Were they? He remembered playing tennis with a bunch of girls screaming his ears off but because the dhampir couldn't bring himself to tell them off, he only waved and smiled. That was Sangeun Moon for you. Jae definitely told him multiple times that he could be too polite for his own good. This was wrong, at least, it should be wrong, but Eun didn't feel the slightest bit of guilt for kissing him.
The dhampir was still tied into the marriage that would soon take place but all he could think about, at this moment, was how soft Leigh's lips felt against his own. It made him trace his lips while staring at the kitsune with a flushed look, is this how it felt to kiss someone you like? It was… exhilarating. You have a fiance, Eun. You have to marry her. But do you really have to? Does it matter? Whatever bickering the devil and angel had on both sides of his shoulders were left unanswered because all the dhampir could focus on was Leigh. He found himself nodded gently, "Honestly, I didn't know what to expect but… yes… it's what I expected and more." A kiss that would leave you breathless. It's okay, you can figure it out on the way, he said.
"Right… food. Yeah we should probably finish our food hahaha" he averted his gaze on the table and started picking up his sushi, though that didn't mean Eun stopped stealing looks over Leigh. "Are you okay with the chopsticks or do I need to feed you? Because I would." A meeting with a special someone, he wondered who that would be. "Thank you" he grinned, if he was so used to smiling, this one would be by far his best, "For being my first kiss."