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The topic of his family and when he was going to tell them the truth about the life he now lived in Evermore had been on the forefront of Jae’s mind for a long while now, he didn’t know how you just came out and told the people who mattered to you so much that you aren’t what they wanted you to be. Jae had been putting it off for months, it was never the right time he would tell himself, he would go onto a video call with his parents and think he had worked up the courage to tell them what was on his mind and then he would have the usual discussion about what he achieved and how they couldn’t wait for him to come home to Korea and bring pride to his family. He knew they were waiting for him to fold, biding their time while they let him live his dream knowing he’d come running back them. Except he didn’t want to go running back, far from it.
There was only one person from his past that knew about the life he led now and the only reason he had been forced into telling them was because they came to visit in Evermore and saw him and Hanseol together. While they hadn’t seen any of their more intimate gestures, Jae had decided to share the truth with them because he needed to ask them to keep their mouths shut about what they saw. And as told by the lack of mentioning in on calls and messages, they had been true to their word and not told his parents about what they saw. Still Jae felt like he was living a lie, one he didn’t want to live now that he was sure that the future he wanted to have was here in Evermore, not just because his boyfriend was here but because he really enjoyed the way of life here and he found himself getting more and more attached to it with each day that passed.
He’d been putting a lot of thought into it, so much so that it was keeping him up at night lately, he was trying to figure out what to do or how he broke it to his family without completely losing them but every way that he saw it playing out ended badly. Jae didn’t know how to get past it, he couldn’t ask Han for advice because he really had no idea about the sort of community Jae was raised and Daehyun wasn’t any use either considering how unorthodox his life had been. Honestly, Jae had been wanting to call Sangeun and talk to him about things for a long time but he knew how busy his brother was with big clients lately and the last thing Jae wanted to do was add to Eun’s already full plate with problems he didn’t need.
The dhampir was lost in thought as his head was rested against Hanseol’s shoulder, they had some movie about people who got drunk and did stupid things playing on the TV but he hadn’t really been paying much attention to it, just enjoying having some peace and quiet in the dorm apartment and getting to spend time with his favorite person. Still, he wished he could pay attention to the movie because the whirring going on in his mind was starting to make him restless, still, he did his best not to move too much as he kept his eyes on the screen and got lost in his mind again. It was one of those rare afternoons they spent at Jae’s dorm because it was nearer to the grocery store which they would go to in the evening one most people had finished and gone home for the day, it made the shopping process easier for both of them, Jae’s roommates were also always out for this little period every week so it worked out well.
Jae almost jumped out of his skin when heard a knocking at the door and he turned to Han with a curious expression on his face, well he wasn’t expecting any guests so he figured it was just someone coming to check in on the apartment or something “Back in a moment” he stated and pressed a soft kiss to the star’s cheek before he headed into the hallway and up to the front door. He didn’t even bother to look through the eyeglass, just reached for the handle and pulled the door open. The moment that the door was fully open Jae gasped in shock before he completely threw his entire body at the figure standing in the doorway capturing him in a hug that was so forceful that it would have tackled them both to the ground if it wasn’t for the fact his brother was pretty strong.
“What the hell is this?” Jae murmured into Eun’s shoulder as he held him tightly completely in disbelief that he was actually here, Jae forced himself to pull back to look his brother over completely shocked to see him “Why didn’t you call?” he asked with widened eyes “Not that I’m complaining, I just…” he pressed his lips together “만나보게 돼서 기뻐 (I’m glad to see you)” Jae spoke before he realized he’d been quite loud with his excitement.
Jae nodded when Eun asked him whether he felt like he could be more like himself here “I found a me I didn’t even know existed” he spoke it softly and nodded a few more times as he considered the truth of that statement in his mind “I don’t think I was ever build to fit their perfect mold” he spoke it softly, he had tried for a long time but he was always told to try harder or to be more like his brothers like he could just bend the person he was because they wanted him to. So it didn’t surprise him much when Eun told him that their father asked him to convince him to come home “Just hearing that makes me want to show him how wrong he is about me” he looked up at his hyung and nodded slightly “He’s not just a bit pissed Eun, when he finds out about me and Han” he made a finger dragging against his neck motion and sighed slightly. He wasn’t sure he was mentally prepared for that reality but he knew it was coming sooner or later.
“Our father doesn’t understand that we live in 2019” he grumbled slightly as he eyed the elder male, sometimes he felt shocked to his core by the way his father could act and the things he came out with which felt so backward compared to the world around them “But I’m reaching the point where I’m tired of trying to be everything he wants me to be” he pressed his lips together for a moment, he was tired of being someone he wasn’t and putting on a front, especially when he tended to only be met with disappointment regardless and it all felt pointless. He looked back at En as he talked about his first kiss not being a big deal, he tilted his head to the side slightly and sighed “Is that what you keep telling yourself?” he knew his brother and he knew there was part of him that longed for a really good life and Eun had always been family-driven, Jae wouldn’t believe for a second that he didn’t want one of his own. “But at least you still have the chance to make it mean something” there was something romantic about the idea of your first kiss being with someone who was really special to you, he wished Han was his first in all honesty.
“None of us said anything and we set this impossible bar for ourselves that we keep reaching for knowing we’re always going to fall short” the expectations were so high that it was near impossible to meet them, that was evident now when his brother had quite literally aced his law school and got into a good firm and that still wasn’t enough for their father to back down from controlling his life, in something Jae truly believed a parent shouldn’t have a say in. Jae grinned a little sheepishly when Eun said he was living domestically “I guess you could call it that” he spoke softly “I never expected myself to be the type who wanted to live with someone else, but I guess we just kinda work” he didn’t officially live with Han but he spent so many nights there that sometimes it felt like he did.
Jae watched Eun’s reaction as the realization set in about this marriage and how it wasn’t over once he said ‘I do’, by letting their father push him into this union he was also signing up for having to continue the family name and have a child which might be something Eun would want for himself but not necessarily how he might want it to happen. Jae decided not to make any more comments on their father because it was bringing down the mood and he was sure he got his point across “I’m glad” he spoke softly when Eun said he was going to be in the city for a while “As selfish as it sounds I really need my brother” he spoke it softly as he looked up at him over the table and smiled softly “Just some reminders that I haven’t lost everything that mattered before” he nodded a few times with a sad smile on his lips “Visit any time you like, you’ll find Evermore likes to suck you in before you have the chance to fight it” he laughed gently because it didn’t make sense until you’d been here a while.
As the conversation moved to Han, the younger Dhampir had a sweet smile on his lips as he thought about the man he was lucky enough to call his boyfriend “He told me what he was not long after we met and before we were even dating I experienced someone trying to hunt him” he sighed gently because he hated that was the reality they faced “As for how serious” he blushed softly and looked down for a moment “I mean I told him I loved him and he said it back so” he shifted his gaze for a few moments and then sighed happily “We spend a lot of time together” he blushed even harder because of what he was suggesting “He makes me happy” he spoke again and was glad they were interrupted by the waiter bringing over their drinks which he thanked them for.