As she slammed the door for the last time the brunette finally allowed herself to breathe, in and out as she tried to get a handle over her emotions but every time that she tried all that she saw in her mind was them together, together in the bed the two of them shared. She pressed her back against the door and slowly sank down into a ball, her arms hugging around her legs as the tears just started to flow. Dakota had put the last 10 years of her life into this relationship, she had done everything she could to support him through every up and down but now she finally realized, she wasn't enough and she never would be.

A sob wracked through her body as the very thought, lifting her hands to wipe her eyes as though it would stop her eyes from looking puffy. As she pulled it back however all she saw was the black smudge of the make up she had been wearing before everything had gone down. He had begged her to listen but there was nothing that he could say at this point, she'd know for a long time now it was over, she had fallen out of love with him over the months, slowly feeling less connected to him the more he pulled away until she had given up fighting for it. She knew she should have been honest with him but it was just too easy to stay, to pretend like things were perfect when they weren't.

Instead she was now left broken, sitting on the floor of the apartment she shared with him and suddenly every little thing around her felt wrong, like it was out of place in her world now. She closed her eyes letting out another sob to which the room shook a little and a lamp from on the table fell down smashing into pieces. She sighed heavily in frustration forcing herself to pull to her feet to pick up the broken pieces of china but she just ended up throwing them down on the floor, they looked better broken, representing the way she felt right now. She sniffed wiping back another round of tears as she looked around for what else didn't feel right anymore. 

She started with the vase that Bradyn had bought her for her birthday, it was ugly and she had secretly hated it but because he had given her it she had kept it and used it. Grabbing it she held it to her chest for a moment before another wave of emotions came over her and she threw it down on the ground watching as it shattered into pieces all over the floor. She had to admit it gave her a temporary sense of relief, like somehow she could punish him for ripping her heart in two by destroying things that represented him.

She took a moment to catch her breath, she felt so lost, she didn't even know where to turn, she didn't know who to call because all of her friends were Bradyn's friends and they would all just be a reminder of his face. One thing that had stopped coming were the tears though, perhaps she was out of them or perhaps it was just a brief moment. She moved slowly through the apartment, her fingers running over the counter tops, without her ring nearly everything she touched trembled with the shaky remnants of her powers that she never fully gained control over. 

Her eyes stopped as they fell upon a photo upon the table, the two of them were smiling, happy and so in love back them, so very different to where she was now. Dakota couldn't even remember that good time now because everything felt tainted by what he had done and how he had done so knowing that it would hurt her. Her breath was shaky as she picked up to frame in her hands, staring at it as though if she looked at it hard enough she could remember the feeling that was supposed to be attached to it. Instead, as she looked at it the glass shattered in her hands flying in all directions.

She winced a little realizing one of the shared had got embedded in her arm and she pulled it out which triggered her tears to start flowing again. How was she going to cope on her own? Her car needed fixing for the garage next weekend and she didn't even want to think about how she was going to afford to pay rent with her salary. The panic began to set in her chest as she started to face the reality of what was currently happening to her.  She was however caught completely off guard when she heard the sound of a key in the lock and the door to the apartment opening.

Views: 574

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

The brunette had curled up again, her arms crossing her body onto her shoulders as if she could protect herself from the world by doing so, the truth was that she was scared, scared that she couldn’t live her life without Bradyn, she didn’t even remember the life she had before him properly and that was terrifying to her, not because of him in any part but because somehow she had lost herself along the way. Her attention however was taken by Austin as he walked through the door. The brown eyed diviner just stared at him for a few moments, almost as though she barely recognized him. Her entire body was shaking at this point, completely out of control when it came to the magic flowing inside her which was slowly spiraling out of control.

She heard his words but she didn’t know how to respond to them, somehow like she needed to be embarrassed to admit what happened, on top of that she didn’t know how to tell someone recovering from PTSD that they no longer had a place to stay. She was lost in her own mind not knowing how to form words until he reached over for her shoulder and she pulled away “No don’t!” she exclaimed loudly as she turned away which caused the lights in the room to flicker and then the bulb in the nearest one to blow, shattering more glass onto the floor. “I don’t want to hurt you” she admitted though not she couldn’t even look at him so she stared at the wall blinking away the tears that were welling in her eyes.

She was a mess, she felt so incredibly lost as she looked down to the shattered frame that she still held in her hands and slowly forced herself to turn back towards the male “Bradyn’s gone” she confirmed as she reached out and placed the frame face down on the floor and tried to slow her breathing “I showed him and ‘Sophie’ where the door was after they put their underwear back on” she ran a hand through her unruly curled hair, she knew she looked like hell, she felt like hell and she had no idea what her tomorrow was even going to look like.

“He’s gone and I’m left with shattered glass” her voice cracked but she managed to breathe, hesitantly reaching out to push against the floor and get to her feet, she felt weak, like her whole self had been drained of energy, likely because she had cried so much and from all the outbursts of magic that she couldn’t seem to get a handle over in this state. She finally turned her gaze to meet his blue hues, catching the concern in them. She wanted to force a smile but it seemed pointless now that he had seen her in this state and so she sighed softly “I’m sorry…” she spoke softly “I didn’t want anyone to see me like this” she admitted as she reached up to wipe her eyes again, she didn’t even know what she was going to do now her ring was broken.

She didn’t mean to shout at him, she just didn’t know herself right now and she didn’t know how she would handle the guilt if her current spiral caused anyone physical harm. Dakota didn’t trust herself when her powers were let loose, she felt as though she was surrounded by metal spikes and if she so much as twitched they would trigger another explosion of powers she didn’t understand. She let a sigh of frustration escape as she desperately tried to cling to any reality.

His voice however echoed over the top, giving her something to focus on as he spoke, she slowly moved to follow his request meeting his gaze with her teary eyes. She should be going through this alone, it wasn’t even like he liked her, she didn’t even know why he was trying to help her. Regardless he was all she had in that moment and from the look in his eyes, showing concern and perhaps a little fear, she knew she had completely lose control of herself. Her lip trembled as he said things could be worse “Really? Cause it hurts” she pressed her hand against her chest “It hurts so bad” and there was nothing anyone could do or say to take that pain away right now.

Now that she had spoken the words the tears were threatening to start again but instead she balled her hands into fists and then unfurled them a few times, Dakota had dealt with a lot of heartbreak in her life but this one, this one she didn’t even know how to process, she had built a whole life around Bradyn and without him she couldn’t even see the point. Austin’s words however took her attention once again and as she listened to his words she tried to do what he said. Him being there made it easier to keep her attention from thinking about Bradyn which was strange because he was Bradyn’s friend and very little more to her, he had been staying here a while but she was pretty sure this was the first conversation they’d had just the two of them.  “Okay” she spoke, though the voice was weak as she copied him, breathing slowly in through her nose and waiting for him to count it down and then breathing out.

The brunette let out of soft laugh in response to his words “You’re a terrible liar but thanks” she knew she probably looks the worst she probably ever had, her unruly hair falling wildly around her shoulders and her make up smudged and probably staining down her cheeks. She didn’t really care, who did she even have to look good for anymore. Dakota’s initial reaction was to try and shrug off his hands but after a moment she blew out a long breath leaning her head forward. With each breath she felt herself slowly getting control over the powers, like the stormy sea that was raging was slowly clearing. His words were kind but she had known this was coming for a long time now “I guess we were both pretty good at putting on a good face” she admitted in a soft voice that was barely above a whisper.

After a few more breaths she slowly moved back from him surprised to see that the lights had stopped flickering “Well it looks like we’ll have to sit in the dark” she spoke before she realized she had used the word we and she bit on her lip looking over at him “I know you barely know me and really should probably chase after Bradyn but” she knew it was a lot to ask but she didn’t really know what else to do “I’m scared what will happen if I’m alone” he’d helped her to get control over her powers and she hoped maybe he could keep her distracted long along enough for her to figure all of this out.

She nodded softly, forcing a half smile as she dropped her hands to her sides again “I’m not sure there’s a right thing to say” she admitted with a shrug, nothing anything would say was going to make sure completely forget that she’d just had her heart broken in the worst way. “Short of reversing the past 4 hours of my life” she added and sighed, it was strange, how she had this one big picture of how her life was going to pan out and Bradyn was the center of them all but now, everything just kind of felt blank and she had to wonder where her real self had gone.

She could tell from the way he reacted that he didn’t approve of Bradyn’s actions, she wasn’t sure anyone could really condone that, at least not if they were a half decent person anyway. But she wasn’t stupid enough to think that he would turn against Bradyn, just as she would expect her friends to stay by her should she make a stupid mistake. Dakota knew the reason that Bradyn had resorted to this and she in a way could sympathize with him if it hadn’t been for the fact he’d chosen to make himself feel better by hurting her. Once again her thoughts were interrupted by Austin telling her to breathe and she did, doing her best not to let herself get worked up or over emotional again, those seemed to be the trigger for her powers.

Dakota nodded as she heard his thoughts on where Bradyn’s mind might be at, she didn’t really know how much to say at first but then she realized that she was still angry at Bradyn and perhaps that meant she didn’t feel like keeping her mouth shut “About 3 years ago Bradyn and I went to the doctor to get tested for fertility” she didn’t even know why she was telling him this, she hadn’t told anyone else before. Perhaps she just needed someone to hear some of thoughts buzzing around in her head in order to understand herself, to help her process all this “He can’t have children” she concluded as she bit down on her lip.

“I tried to convince him there were other options but he just…” she felt tears stinging in her eyes again and reached up to wipe them away “I stopped getting through to him” she had seen their break up coming for a long time now, ever since that day nothing had been the same between them, tainted with a future she knew Bradyn wanted but could no longer have. “I knew this was inevitable” she nodded softly at if it was a simple matter of fact “I just didn’t think he’d do it like this” she blinked a few times fighting back her emotions again.

When he moved to sit down Dakota lowered herself down, hugging her knees to her chest as she sat opposite him. She couldn’t see much without the lights on but the moonlight from the window illuminated his face just enough that she could catch the depths of his ocean gaze. She had never noticed quite how striking his gaze was, she thought to herself as she looked back at him. “The hardest part is that I still care about him, even after what he’s done” she spoke softly breaking the gaze and looking down at the floor for a moment “But if I’m not the one to walk away now, then we’ll both just be living a lie” god why was she talking about all this with him, he was just gonna go and spout it back to Bradyn anyway.

Dakota watched him through her dark lashes, a gentle appreciative smile on her lips at his offer “You know I’m starting to feel bad for never having a real conversation with you before” she admitted and sighed “I think the most I’ve said to you was in regards to politely poking you to leave” Dakota liked her space and it felt odd for her to have a third person in the apartment, even if for the most part Austin kept to the spare room. His suggestion caught her surprise though, parting her lips as she considered it, he was right in that respect, this place was a reminder of the life her and Bradyn had built and everything she looked at reminded her of him “I’m not sure I’m up to facing people yet” she admitted, her voice much more vulnerable than it usually was.

“But I suppose we can always just walk there and not go in” she added as an afterthought, honestly just the idea of walking for a bit seemed better than sitting here in the dark staring at the shattered pieces of her life. “Okay let me go find something less wrecked” she commented as she dropped her eyes to the sleeve of her shirt which was ripped where a glass shard had torn through it. She pushed herself to her feet and headed in the direction of her and Bradyn’s room walking to the wardrobe and pulling out a new shirt. She pulled off the torn shirt tossing it to the ground before she slipped on the new one, purposely avoiding looking in the mirror as she did so.

She grabbed a makeup wipe and dabbed around her face, the white cloth turning black from all the smeared makeup it cleaned off her face and she grabbed a hair tie, tying her hair up into a high ponytail. When she was done she grabbed her coat from the hook on the door and stepped back into the hallway shrugging it on over her shoulders “Better?” she asked and purposely pulled a bit of a sarcastic pose.

There was something about the way he spoke her nickname that she really like the sound of, his voice was soft and hesitant, almost like he wasn’t allowed to speak it or something would blow up. The way he spoke almost sounded a little like he was afraid of her saying no which felt strange to her considering that he hadn’t seemed to care much for her opinion or even being around her in the past. She nodded slightly “Just keep me talking so I don’t lose control again” she offered before she half smiled “Please” she added knowing how much she was asking of him.

Dakota glanced over to him as he pulled out his phone and then instantly back tracked on the decision giving her a look that she understood, she couldn’t imagine it was easy for him either, especially because she got the impression from Austin that his moral compass was very much in tact. In her mind however she knew this was the final push she needed to decide to move forward, her and Bradyn could never really get back what they had before.

The brunette leaned her head to the side as he heard him hit his head against the wall behind him, as she talked about the last few years that her and Bradyn had been through she saw true empathy in his eyes. Bradyn had always wanted kids way more than Dakota did but there had been a time when she had wanted a child with him, wanted to live that perfect family life. One where parents didn’t lie to their child or try to control them.

“It’s not your fault” she responded with a half smile “It’s not anyone’s fault, that’s the worst part” she sighed softly, Bradyn had been mad at everything after he found out and she had been saddened too, but there was no one to blame, nothing you could really curse but the world itself. She was surprised when he agreed with her, she had half expected him to say she should calm down and rethink where she stood in  the morning or something that seemed like he was taking Bradyn’s side anyway, she nodded softly. Perhaps what she said made sense, it wasn’t like she had been close to Bradyn in a long time, for the most part she just made him dinner and then they went to bed every night like clockwork.

Dakota let out a soft laugh as he spoke about the way the two of them had interacted in the past “I don’t really take well to people I don’t know” she admitted with a half smile “It’s kinda weird for me to live with someone who’s essentially a stranger” she tilted her head to the side. But that went both ways didn’t it, it wasn’t like she had made an effort to talk to or get to know him and now she felt bad about that.

After she changed and came back into the room she felt a new sense of calm come over her, she had somehow managed to keep her powers from exploding again and considering just how unruly and dangerous they could be when they were let loose, she would call it a win. His words caused her to pull a face assuming he was just saying that to be polite, with a mock roll of her eyes she smirked “You’re a terrible liar but thanks” the brunette resisted the urge to rub at her eyes which she knew were still pretty red and puffy where she had been crying before

She nodded as she followed him to the door, picking up her keys and locking the door behind them as they stepped out into the winter night. Dakota was glad she had put on her coat as she placed her hands in her pockets as they started to walk through the streets of Evermore, her warm breath turned to mist in the cold air every time her chest rose and fell. “I keep forgetting just how cold it is out here” she admitted huddling into her coat to savor the warmth “So what kind of food are you thinking?” she raised as she turned to look up at him, her dark eyes affixed on his ocean blues for just a few seconds “That Thai take out place you always seem to have empty boxes from?” she asked as she wiggled her brows emphasizing the fact she had remembered it.

Dakota nodded as he assured her he wouldn’t let her lose control, despite the fact the two didn’t know each other all that well she found truth in the words he spoke and even gave a soft laugh as he called her abilities scary, though it was more from nervousness than anything “They scare me too” she admitted as she slid her hand into her pocket pulling out the shattered ring she had been wearing for most of her life “Wearing this ring always made it so my powers were locked away, like it was a key holding them back but now that it’s broken” she paused as she placed the fragments back into her clothing “Now things become a lot more difficult” honestly being a diviner scared her more than anything.

She saw the awkward look on his face and knew exactly why he gave it, it couldn’t be easy to be caught between someone you knew you should always stand by and the morals you held for yourself, if she was honest she was expecting him to be out the door along with Bradyn but she did have to wonder if he truly had anywhere else to go “Don’t be ridiculous, you’re best friends” and it wasn’t like Austin owed her a thing, she had not been all that kind to him since he got there and she had almost embedded glass into his skin by accident only half an hour before.

Dakota started to wonder just how blind she had been to the world around her since she had settled down with Bradyn, he’d always had his friends and while he didn’t have many, the ones he did he kept close and he took care of. She however had cut off her family and most of her friends, all she really had left in her life was Kenna. Her thoughts were however interrupted as Austin spoke again, reacting to the look she pulled without even trying, she appreciated the words he said, she did have to wonder if it was all talk to distract her or if he truly meant it but as she caught his gaze she caught a level of sincerity that she’d never noticed as he spoke before “Trust me to pick out the asshole of your friend group hey” she spoke it with a mock roll of her eyes, she’d always been good at pulling close the people who were the worst for her.

It had been a few months since Bradyn had first begged her to let Austin stay and seeing him show some kind of emotion for once she hadn’t been able to say no. Now it felt normal to have another person in the house, Austin was usually pretty quiet, tapping away on his computer and making the odd compliment to the food she made, he didn’t throw his stuff around or make much of a mess and if she was honest, she was pretty used to his presence by now. “At first it was strange but you do make for a pretty quiet house guest” she chuckled softly, she was pretty convinced that was because he purposely avoided her most of the time, she’d always just assumed he didn’t like her all that much. She ran a hand through her ponytail pulling it over her shoulder before she put up the hood of her coat as they stepped out into the cold night “At least I don’t have black streaks down my cheeks anymore” she sniffed a little with a laugh.

Dakota heard the tone of surprise in his laugh as he realized that she paid attention to his favorite food, she’d never really gotten the obsession herself but then she didn’t really eat a lot of take away most of the time anyway “I have no idea” she admitted with somewhat of an innocent expression knowing how he would probably react to his next words “Cause I may have never had it” she leaned her head to the side a little as if he was actually going to chew her ear off in response to that particular confession. As the two of them walked her eyes mostly remained on the sidewalk, not wanting to look up at all the reminders that she was going to have to spend Christmas on her own, hell she didn’t even know what she was going to do with the gifts she had bought. The brunette glanced over at her walking companion for a moment watching as he took in all the lights around them and smiled softly, she was glad one of them would enjoy them at least.

Dakota pulled a slightly sad expression as he mentioned the holidays “I used to love Christmas as a kid, always used to count down to it” she laughed a little realizing just how much she used to hype it up and how she wouldn’t let her sister get a wink of sleep “All kinda dulls down as you grow up though, doesn’t quite have the glow it used to” ever since she had left most of her family behind Christmas had more been another day to her which she guessed was sad, but Bradyn had always been a grinch himself so it worked. When he asked what movies she liked she pursed her lips thinking about it for a moment “Would it be bad if I said I liked fantasy stories?” she asked as though it was embarrassing “I may have gotten way more into Harry Potter than I’d liked to admit” man she really was spilling her life now, she’d better hope he wouldn’t go blabbing about his discoveries on his computer.

Dakota arched a suspicious brow at his next words, trying to figure out something she might want to kick him out for until it clicked in her mind “You mean the reason your clothes constantly stink?” she asked curiously, for the most part she forced him to do his own laundry but occasionally when she was short she had picked up a few of his bits to add. She gave him a somewhat sly smile “I used to smoke a little back in college, during my wild phase” she raised her fingers to make air quotes because she didn’t really do much that could be described as crazy back then which probably meant she was really boring now.

“Honestly I think we all need something to help keep us sane, can’t judge you for how you choose to do so” her way of coping was by suppressing the powers she didn’t want to accept and by not talking to people who let her down so she was the hardly in the place to lecture anyone on how to handle things. Her dark gaze turned upwards as she scanned over the different buildings around them looking for something that caught her appetite “Really all I want is a really sugary drink and some fries” she laughed “Maybe a burger if I’m feeling edgy” she was glad he was here because he really did a great job of focusing her attention on little silly things, every time her mind wanted to relapse he came back with something new.

Spotting a McDonalds over the road from them she stared at the sign for a moment before pointing it out “Probably the most generic food I could ever ask for but we’ve already established I’m boring” she chuckled looking up at him before she moved to cross over the road, checking for cards before crossing over.

The way he phrased it out loud seemed more real and terrifying, she pursed her lips in thought before she nodded “I guess so, at least til I learn how to figure out how to control this” she admitted with a slight shrug, she knew she should have done that a long time ago but it was just easier to keep hiding behind the ring, at least til now anyway. Her expression showed the concern she had over it all “I can’t keep hiding and pretending it’s not a part of me, no matter how much it scares me” she was more saying it to herself than him, it was about time she stopped pushing away her heritage.

Kota listened to him as he spoke, he seemed like a decent person, he knew where he stood on things which was more than could be said for most people who changed their minds as fast as the wind changed direction “It was more than just the fling” she commented running her tongue over her bottom lip, she knew things would end sooner or later, she’d felt it coming, braced herself even and yet she had stayed anyway, wanting to believe that somehow things might one day go back to the way they were. She knew she was only biding time, attached to the person Bradyn once was “I think he was just past the point where working things out was possible” which sucked because she wanted them to get there so badly.

“Hey there’s definitely worse things than an internet addiction” she teased softly noting the way he seemed to be a little embarrassed over her comment, she actually thought it was pretty charming, the way he would sit for hours on end looking so focused on whatever it was he was doing, the few times she’d come to bring him something he’d usually entirely blanked her because he was so lost in whatever it was. As they walked she realized she’d actually noticed quite a lot about him, despite the two of them not actually really talking or being friends, she supposed living with someone had that effect.

Austin’s reaction to her confession brought a bubble of laughter to her, reaching her hands up to hide behind them in mock shame “I’ve not had much of a chance to branch out lately” she muttered, her words muffled because of her hands before she dropped them slowly, giving him a smile “I promise I will order something from there some time” she dipped her head a little “When I’m feeling a little more adventurous” truthfully she was curious to see why he raved about it so much. Dakota grimaced a little at the thought of gore and horror, she had a bad habit of getting pretty spooked by that kind of stuff but she played it off “As long as it’s at least a few hours after dinner” just to avoid any urge to throw up and all.

The change in his demeanor was pretty drastic, but his laughter was pretty infectious, causing her to laugh too, shaking her head at him a little “My doom room back in college used to stink of the stuff, we had to go on a massive detox every time we had an inspection” she wasn’t immune to a few choice life decisions and she had done her share of rebellious things back in college, especially in the first few months away from her adoptive parents. The brunette pouted a little as he called her tame but then she nodded, she supposed he was right, that part of her had faded away in the past few years “It’s called getting married and wanting to start a family apparently” she wrinkled her nose a little “Don’t try it, it’s miserable” she had always had this thought about what marriage was but now she realized it was a fairytale she’d sold herself.

Dakota had to admit, this night was one of the worst she had been through, but Austin had managed to make it at least a little better, he was right, she really did need some sort of distraction, keeping her mind occupied seemed to keep her powers and her emotions at bay. “Practically lethal” she teased back with equal snark to his comment. His next comment however caused her to go quiet, how was it that she had been so blind to other people around her for so long, she wondered as he reached to open the door for her, her dark chocolate hues meeting his ocean blues for just a couple of seconds before she stepped inside.

She wandered towards the counter, her eyes turning up towards the menu as she debated what she would order. She heard Austin speaking and at first she didn’t really take in his words but as he finished she turned towards him, listening to the way he spoke about his father. She’d never really heard him talk about his family and she’d never pushed it before because his lack of home showed little merit for their support, she hadn’t realized his father had passed. Her lips parted wanting to say some cliche thing about being sorry but before she could get a word out the employee appeared and asked if they needed any help.

Dakota cleared her throat forcing her eyes away from the Initia and over to the young man trying to serve them. She spoke her order “I’ll take a big mac meal with a strawberry milkshake please” she stated, thought she seemed dazed and distracted, realizing how self absorbed she’d been the last few years. She did her best to keep her expression neutral but it was unsettling for her. After the two of them had ordered the young male scuttled off, she turned towards Austin once again “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you speak of your parents” she admitted as she tipped her head upwards to meet his gaze again.

As the brunette was looking back at him she noted the way his gaze softened a little, a look of pity that she knew pretty well. Really she had no one to blame for her lack of ability in her powers than herself, it was her who had decided to pretend they didn’t exist for this long “Don’t give me the feeling sorry for me look” she jabbed with a half smile “I made some really stupid decisions when it came to my identity but they were my decisions” she was independent in some ways, despite having no idea how to control all of this she did intend on figuring it out piece by piece, though she did appreciate the offer of help “But someone to help me figure out where to start, that would be nice” honestly it was pretty scary to think about doing all this alone.

Besides, she already knew at this point she wasn’t going to toss him out of the house too, this evening had been pretty revolutionary for her in many different ways, she had finally been forced to face the fact that her husband was lost to her but she had also seemingly found a new friend in the process. How strange. “Austin” she spoke softly as she looked over at him, catching those oceanic hues with her dark ones “I want you to know that I’m not going to make you leave” she ran her tongue over her bottom lip as she spoke “He made his choice but you didn’t and while it’s complicated, I actually think the house not being empty will be a good thing for me” complicated as hell indeed, but that was her life now it seemed.

She had a strange feeling inside of her, she still hurt, a lot, knowing that this was the end of the line for her and Bradyn’s story but she also had been anticipating this coming for a long time, she’d made plans in her head of what she might do when it did. None of her plans involved her coming home to another woman in her bed, but perhaps that was the wake-up call she needed to leave. “I have found that people are very good at hiding things, keeping secrets is second nature to most people” and that was probably where things went so wrong, if people were just honest with one another all of the time then she likely would have moved on a long time ago “My parents lied to me all my life about what I was” she admitted with a shrug, she knew about hiding and lying better than anyone “At this point I think people letting me down is all I know” she pursed her lips, what a sad way to live.

Not that she was expecting anyone to just go and tell her their life story up front of course, she knew that Austin must have parts of his life that were hard to talk about too, much like she did. There must be a reason that he always kept himself holed up in his room of the house, eyes glued to the screen like if he left then the world would end. Something on there really mattered to him and whether that was online friends or some game that meant everything to him or something else, who was anyone to judge what he could and couldn’t do with his time. Dakota had never questioned it at least, she wouldn’t want anyone questioning her on why she spent so much time reading books. She did try and always make sure he got something to eat though, because he often stayed there for hours on end and she wondered whether he forgot to eat.

Dakota had learned from a young age that laughing at herself was the best way to get past the worst moments, she liked to remind herself that things could always get worse. Yes, her husband had cheated on her and she had made him leave her in response, but no, she hadn’t lost her home and no, she wasn’t even alone. Still, it was strange, how easy it was for her to talk to Austin. She put it down to the fact that despite the fact they didn’t really know each other well, they had been sharing a life together in a sense for a while now, they knew one another’s schedules, noticed one another's habits, this was just adding a final layer to it all. Her eyes did widen a little when he started to mention the word date though he quickly backtracked it, she was quiet for a moment as she wondered what must be going on in his mind for him to say something like that, though it became evident quickly that it was just a poor choice of words. His apology caused her to shake her head a little with a half smile “That’s okay” she answered nonchalantly “I’m not the type to get hung up on words” she admitted with a shrug, to her people showed their intentions by their actions by what they did, not by what they said, she gave him an amused smile, her eyes twinkling in the lights “I’ll look forward to it” she added reassuringly. She could use some normality.

Dakota definitely wasn’t interested in the idea of dating, at this point she just wanted to grieve the loss of the relationship she had and find herself again, maybe she would really like the person she found in the process and once she had her, then she would be ready to think about starting again. But working on herself started with friends, she had very few, mostly down to her own fault. While Austin was Bradyn’s friend, she could also see herself getting along with him well...which was about as complicated as it sounded. Her spinning thoughts were interrupted by Austin speaking about his thoughts on marriage, the brunette laughed as she thought about what her perfect relationship would be like “There’s this song I heard a few weeks back which sums up my thoughts on relationships pretty well” she admitted and then shrugged a little “There’s no such thing as a perfect fairy tale” she answered, she wasn’t delusional enough to think so “But as long as you’re able to hold on for the ride, up and down, you can make things work” and the problem was that while she had done everything to hold on with Bradyn, he hadn’t been strong enough to do the same. So she guessed both of their standpoints agreed there. She had to admit it was sweet, the way he worried for the woman who upped and left him “Despite everything he’s done, I hope he finds what he’s looking for” she admitted with a sad smile, that was what loving someone was, wanting the best for them even when it was no longer what you wanted.

The brunette gave him a dubious look when he mentioned putting fries in a milkshake and she shook her head a little, that sounded like the worst idea she had ever heard of but he seemed pretty adamant that it was a good thing from his gaze “Guess I’m trying it then?” she stated with a confused look, it was interesting, how he seemed to just catch her off guard so much, challenged her to think outside the box. The brunette went quiet as he spoke about his parents, taking in what he was explaining to her, her eyes widened a little in surprise to the story she heard “Wow…” she trailed off “That’s a lot” she stated, no wonder he’d wanted to start over in a much more mundane life “You’re uh…” she lowered her voice a little “an Initia right?” no one was really listening to their conversation but she was careful anyway. Dakota had done her best to stay a distance from the supernatural world but she’d heard from Bradyn what Austin was.

Taking the icy drink from Austin she raised it to her lips and took a long sip before she nodded “We’ll have to be quick or the food will be a milkshake too before we know it” she teased noting the fact that it was very cold outside but without hesitation she moved to open the door for him “Thanks for buying by the way, I’ll get the next one” she stated, Kota wasn’t the kind to not offer up in equal measures to someone else anyway. Once he stepped through she followed him out into the icy streets once more, though she felt a small sense of dread at the idea of going back to the apartment.

The brunette gave him an arch of her brow as he backtracked on what she was saying and explained the look he was giving her, she appreciated the words he said, it was nice to hear someone put into words the thought of only your bad decisions defining who you are  “I think if we got hung up over every bad decision we make then we’d probably never get out of bed in the morning” she answered with a shrug, she still had parts of herself she wanted to feel better about, especially her diviner side which she had essentially denied existence for the majority of her life, but she didn’t blame anyone but herself for where she was currently.

As Dakota looked up at him she had to wonder what was going through his mind, a lot, she supposed, considering by staying in the apartment, staying by her side, he was essentially going against his best friend. She had never wanted to get between them, that was why she had always tried to keep Austin at arm’s length, especially because she had been predicting this fallout for several months now, admittedly not in the way it had unfolded tonight but she had felt it coming on for a long time now. His expression showed sincerity as he spoke which made her smile softly “It’s not fair of me to ask you to do that” she stated with a slightly furrowed brow letting out a soft sigh, it certainly wasn’t his job to deal with her problems anyway.

She was a little surprised when he stepped closer to her, tilting her head back a little to look up at him, she caught the slightly reddish tone to his cheeks and her lips parted for a moment as she just stared for a few seconds a little taken aback by it all, she found herself holding her breath for just a few seconds before he stepped back and she exhaled. In response to his words she shrugged just a little “I know I’ve probably come across as the nagging wife who wants you gone for a long time now” she let out a long breath and shook her head slightly “Sorry for that, I should have made more of an effort” she stated with a half nod, accepting thanks for his offer to help out. Dakota’s salary was pretty good so she wasn’t worried too much about all the tiny details, really she was more scared of being alone than anything.

When he spoke about ignorance she listened carefully, the brunette often wondered what her life would be like now if her parents hadn’t hidden part of who she was from her, in her mind she had the right to know and make the choice for herself, but the diviner also knew her parents were scared and didn’t know how to handle having a daughter who was supernatural “I guess there’s a fine line when it comes to the term ignorance is bliss hey?” she noted the sad look in his eyes, their situations were quite the opposite of one another  “Their choice is what started all this, yes” she admitted with a half nod “But even after I found out they lied to me I couldn’t bring myself to accept them” she admitted with a shrug “So it’s equally my own fault too” she wasn’t ashamed to admit her powers scared her, they did and she wasn’t sure how she was going to get past that. Hopefully one step at a time.

Dakota shook her head when he apologized for ranting “Believe me I rant the same things in my head all the time” she responded with an understanding smile, though she was definitely more of a suffer in silence than a babbler when she was nervous “You don’t have to be nervous though, I’m not gonna judge you, hell if anyone should be judged right now it’s me” she chuckled as she looked over her suspicious looking outfit, blank hoodie and jeans, she looked like she was ready to rob a house “Just need a crow bar to complete the look” she teased with a bright twinkle in her eyes, Dakota had always been pretty good at seeing good in a really bad situation, she supposed that was how she was able to take a walk to McDonalds right now instead of continuing to cry her eyes out.

And at the end of the day, she would be the bigger person, Kota wasn’t the kind of person who was going to curl up and die because a guy broke her heart and yes, right now it hurt like hell but tomorrow it would hurt a little less and in a few months, maybe she would find herself being able to move forward “I guess I spent so much time just…” she paused “Looking out for myself that I don’t have a problem doing it again you know” she shrugged softly, she had been going it alone for a long time before she met Bradyn and she knew with time she could pick herself up from this, she refused to be one of those people who defined themselves by their relationship status. She paused as she realized what Austin was trying say, she understood the feeling but she didn’t want him to feel guilty “I don’t think there’s anything that anyone could have done Austin, don’t kick yourself for it” she gently nudged against her shoulder with her own to assert the words as she said them.

Dakota shot him a look when he started laughing at her expression but her own confusion quickly turned to a laugh too as she realized she must have looked at him like he was talking in a language she didn’t understand “Alright, I will humor your very strange request” she responded with a chuckle, how bad could it be right? It was cold out here in the winter evening but strangely she didn’t feel all that cold, she felt comfortable, just walking, side by side, her hand curled around the paper cup in her hand. When he winked she tilted her head curiously wondering what he was up to before she turned towards the bush he was watching. The brunette gasped softly as she watched it bloom a single flower, it was like nothing she had ever seen before. She was speechless as he held the flower out to her but she reached out to take it “That’s amazing..” she stammered out in shock, she had never really seen anyone using supernatural powers up close before, only her own screw ups of trying to use magic. Perhaps it wasn’t all as scary as she thought. Dakota clutched the flower against her chest as she looked up at him in amazement.

Dakota hadn’t even realized she’d suggested a next time so casually until he mentioned it, she laughed and nodded her head a little “Thai place remember” she teased with a soft laugh, it would be good for her to make regular plans, even if it was just a trip to get take out, it was something to look forward to, a reason to get through the day. But first came this harder part, heading back home. She heard his words but she mostly remained silent as he eyes fixated on the apartment block building “You know I always hated this building” she commented and then laughed softly “It was never my first choice of place to live” she had her reasons, though they were irrelevant right now “Now I can’t imagine being anywhere else, weird” and that was her way of telling him that she was ready for this. “I’m holding you to the movie marathon though, maybe something funny” she commented as she looked back at him over her shoulder and smiled gently as she gestured for him to follow her.

She took a couple moments to herself, just a few paces ahead of him before she pushed open the door and headed towards the stairs, climbing the familiar 2 flights until they reached the floor. She could do this, she told herself in her head, she had prepared for this eventuality and she would make it through. Slipping her key into the lock she turned it and stepped inside. She flipped on the light switch and looked around at all the broken glass on the floor. “Man I really wish I didn’t make quite such a mess” she commented with a shake of her head but moved forwards, heading into the kitchen and getting out the broom “The first step to moving on is cleaning up the mess of a broken life” she spoke it softly, not really sure if it was aimed at him or herself.

Dakota had to try her best not to get caught up in the negativity and there was a lot of it right now, it would be very easy to crawl into her bed and refuse to leave for days, she could let the weight of everything crush her and no one, other than perhaps her sister would even notice. But that wasn’t the person she was. The brunette was resilient and unapologetic, she always had been, it wasn’t like her to crawl under a rock for anything and she’d be damned if a man managed to do that to her. “I don’t have an optimistic personality but I do try and see the good in things, for my own sanity” you kinda had to if you didn’t want to fall into a pit of depression.

His insistence brought a nod to her head though, she wasn’t going to fight probably the only person who was on her side right now. If Dakota knew Bradyn well enough, he’d probably be drunk and cursing her name right now, telling anyone who would listen about how she had given up the best thing she ever had, he always had this way of pushing the blame of things he did onto others to make himself feel better and she kinda got that, it was easier to make other people monsters than to face your own demons. “You’re not the worst non-human being I’ve ever met” she responded to his teasing and then laughed softly if he was then he would have been out of her home a long time ago. Really Austin was still a mystery to her, he kept to himself for the most part, which made her curious as to what he was hiding, there was no way he was simply just that addicted to video games.

“I’m always wondering which side would have been better for me” she commented running her tongue over her lower lip as she thought about it “But I personally side with the idea of the truth, you can only ever make a real informed decision when you know everything and I cannot stand liars” which was exactly why, even years later, she refused to forgive her parents for hiding who she was and it was also why forgiving Bradyn for what he had done to her tonight was out of the question. Once you broke Dakota’s trust you would quite literally have to go to hell and back to gain it back and even then it may not be enough.

She was curious about his thoughts on what she should do now that the ring was broken, the brunette knew he was probably right and that hiding forever wasn’t going to be an option, the timing was just really bad, she didn’t need to be thinking about getting control over her crazy powers at a time like this, a time where her emotions ran wild and free “Did it have to be right now though?” she questioned and pulled a disgruntled face, she’d never really wanted to be a diviner, never seen the appeal in having magical powers and being able to do the unexplainable. Naturally her fingers twisted around the place where the ring she used to wear was now gone “Honestly I just don’t even know where to start, every time I try to use them I end up doing the opposite of what I intend and I’m scared that might end up hurting someone who gets too close” she nodded a little, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt, anyone.

In response to his teasing about the way she looked she arched her eyebrow in and gave a mischevious smile, she had always been a little bit of a rebel when she was younger but she let go of that part of her for a long while now “Well I did break a lot of things tonight so maybe this is appropriate” and some of it had been on purpose too, it felt good for a few minutes but in the end it just left her with a lot of things to clean up. Dakota didn’t really have anyone she could blame for where she was tonight, it was just one of those things, life happened and people grew apart, people did fucked up things to try and fill the emptiness they felt. Dakota wanted so badly to be able to heal Bradyn’s pain but in the end, it was his pain and all she could do was be there for him. In this case, it wasn’t enough “Oh no I understand wanting to be able to do something, that’s all I’ve been trying to reconcile with for the past few months” she pursed her lips for a moment “But at the end of the day, can you save someone who doesn’t want to be saved?” she had concluded that the answer seemed to be no.

Dakota laughed at his reaction to her agreeing to try fries and milkshake combined, she’d had a couple of friends mention it before but she’d never thought it was actually a thing that people did “Well food is definitely one of my loves” she joked with a shake of her head, she’d always been a bit of a foodie and liked watching the dumb reality food shows on the TV when she had spare time. She had also been cooking for both Bradyn and later Austin too for a long time and they didn’t seem to completely hate what she made “If you hadn’t already noticed” she smiled softly. When he commented about needing a mirror she furrowed her brow a little until she realized what he was trying to say “You know, it hurts right now but I do think that maybe it’s also going to be for the better” she pressed her hand against her chest for a moment “I guess it feels a little like apprehension because I have no idea what happens next” she flicked her chocolate hues up towards his ocean eyes and smiled “Maybe I am an optimist after all” she laughed and ran a hand through her hair to tuck back the escaped strands.

“I’ve always had these powers but I’ve never really stopped to see someone else’s before” she commented quietly her eyes still full of wonder from what she had seen, it was the first time in a long time that she found herself wondering what she might be able to do if she got control over her power “Did you learn to use them from your father?” she asked curiously, she knew he said he hated the guy but she did wonder some about his upbringing. The dark-haired diviner looked a little confused when he turned his head away from her again but she didn’t comment on it, she figured this must all be pretty weird for him considering he’d only just opened his eyes to what was happening between her and Bradyn, whereas for her it was the end of a long period of saying goodbye. “I never really felt like anywhere was home until this place, I always felt like the odd one out with my adoptive family, my sister is the only one I even speak to any more” the word home had a lot of connotations to it.

Dakota didn’t know how she was managing to keep it together but since she was, she decided to go with the feeling, she found it sweet that he was worried about her getting hurt, which reminded her that she had cut her hand earlier. Her eyes traveled down to her palm which still had the line of red on it and she grimaced a little “That’s okay, I feel like it’s something I should do” she commented as she tiptoed around all the glass and grabbed a broom and dustpan from the cupboard. She started to sweep it all into a neat pile in the middle of the room. One of the smashed photos from earlier got caught between the bristles and she leaned down to look at it for a moment and then she jumped in shock when it suddenly became illuminated and Austin’s loud booming voice echoed through the room. She stared at him like a rabbit in the headlights for a few seconds before she erupted into laughter and all the emotions attached to the photo faded away as she placed it down on the side “There is definitely light” she repeated, though she was more talking about the cheery looking Initia than she was about the bulb.

Her dark eyes were watching him as he spoke about wanting to get to know her, what was this strange feeling in her chest? This was supposed to be the worst night of her life and yet somehow it had become something else entirely, she parted her lips a little as her eyes moved over him. How did she not notice someone so kind and genuine like him before? They should have been friends way before now, they had a similar sense of humor, they were comfortable around one another without trying too much. Realizing she was staring she cleared her throat and shook her head “Well if there’s anything you want to know then just ask, I don’t lie” she was pretty sure no one would believe her if she tried anyway.

When he spoke the word music she tilted her head a little and watched as he headed into the lounge, she shook her head and started to clean up the pile of glass on the floor into the dustbin and then re-swept the floor for any remaining shards. When she was happy she wasn’t going to cut her foot open she started dancing to the music playing, just swaying to the beat more than anything, she didn’t know the song but it sounded nice. When he came back she was midway through a twirl and she widened her eyes a little and cleared her through a little awkwardly as she leaned back on the counter as if she wasn’t acting like a 12-year-old. It was then she noted what he was holding out towards her, without a word she accepted it and took a long drag before passing it back to him and breathing the smoke out slowly, it was then that she noticed the blood on his hand and reached out to grab his hand and look at it “You didn’t tell me you cut yourself” she commented and gave him a slightly judgmental look before she headed to the cupboard to grab the first aid kit.

The brunette hadn’t realized quite how much she missed this until today, having someone to talk, someone to laugh with and remind her that the world wasn’t about to end. Since her and Bradyn had started pulling apart she had all but isolated herself, she didn’t feel like seeing her friends and she had even dodged drinks with her sister a couple of times “The world can be a very dark place if you let it be” she affirmed with a nod, though she did laugh softly at the way he reused the word bad.

The diviner smirked a little when she felt him nudge against her arm, it was actually really nice just to be around someone who actually seemed to want her there, she’d felt a lot like a spare part when it came Bradyn, someone he kept around in case he needed her, but never really letting her in. Hearing Austin say he did enjoy her presence made the brunette smile, hearing that was enough to brighten her day just a little, even if this all felt strange for her, it was nice to have him here. She raised his brow when he mentioned war though, that sounded rough, the way he was likely pulled into that so long “I guess we’re opposites like that, your parent was overbearing and forced you to be someone you’re not, mine left me before I even knew what they looked like” she bit gently on her lip, she never got answers about why her mother had given her up and that scarred her more than she cared to admit.

Dakota was a little surprised by his sudden enthusiasm, Austin was normally a pretty calm and collected person so it was a little surprising for her when he burst out with these louder statements, she was quickly learning that was a part of who he was though, it was just something he seemed to keep more reserved around people he didn’t know too well “Well now you have me curious” the dark-haired female raised her brow in his direction, she had never seen him so passionate about something before, albeit they hadn’t talked much before now but she had often listened in to the conversations he had with Bradyn in passing. It did comfort her that she could minimize the people around when she was practicing though because she really was scared of what she may be capable of if her powers ran wild “Just make sure you bring one of those padded suits or something” she teased with a laugh. It was weird to make light of something that truly scared her but that felt like the easiest way to handle it.

Dakota hadn’t really know where Austin went during the days, never thought to ask really, she figured he was out job hunting or drinking or something. She was too busy with her job at the school to really pry into her house guest’s life. Seeing the excitement on Austin’s face was causing her to feel a little apprehensive, wondering what he was thinking about that could make him laugh and light up like that.

Dakota nodded in full agreement when he spoke about food, there were small things in life that she could always rely on to get her through, music, food, a good book, her sister when she wasn’t being a complete pain in the ass “You’re right there, though it’s a shame that take out costs so much” she sighed dramatically and then laughed again. The diviner went quiet for a moment when he spoke about noticing a lot, it felt like a very abrupt comment which probably meant it came from that unfiltered place that the Initia often seemed to speak from “Good to know” she muttered softly, she’d noticed a lot about him too, small things about his habits and the way he spoke, the things that seemed to get him riled up, namely games and the grounds he stood on. Not that she would admit that out loud, they were just getting to know one another now.

Why was it every time she locked with his piercing blue gaze she felt the air leave her lungs for a short moment, she covered it with a slight cough bringing her hands up to her lips as she listened to him speak “It helps” she commented with a slight nod, her dark gaze continuing to hold his as she lowered her hand “I kinda always pictured being alone when it all eventually ended but having someone here, it helps” she pursed her lips for a moment wondering if that made sense, Kota did tend to be the type that liked to be around people, it was why she went into teaching, she was good at socializing. Seeing the way he seemed to freeze for a moment when she mentioned his father she wondered for a moment if she had perhaps overstepped but then he started talking. Her eyes showed emotion as she listened to him recount the life he had been through and her breath hitched a little in shock, she’d always known he’d had a rough life but she’d never actually known it went to that level “How did you…” she frowned for a moment “How are you…” she didn’t even know what to say so instead she reached out to put a firm grip on his shoulders for a moment “I’m sorry you had to go through that” she said sincerely and nodded her head a little, no one should, especially not when they’re young.

She didn’t pry any further on it, she figured it was hard enough for him to talk about without having someone he barely knew asking questions that went too personal “I think it will” she commented with a slight nod “I put a lot of work into making this place what it was you know” she was the hands on type, she had picked the paint colors and decor and had it installed herself, many a school holiday she had spent working on the walls and fixing up pictures onto the wall, she guessed it was kinda her pride and joy, though it was hard to disconnect the place from the marriage she had spent here, it gave her mixed feelings about it all “He’s going to struggle to find anyone with enough patience to love him” she admitted with a shrug “What he really needs to do is to learn to love himself again, I can’t be the one to make him see that” it was a strange feeling, knowing what he had done and feeling the hurt it caused inside her but also wanting the best for him, she supposed that was what came from caring about someone as she had for him for so long.

The Diviner laughed softly as his triumphant smirking, it wasn’t about the lightbulb, it was about a person who seemed to bring light a time when things felt very dark, she appreciated that because she wasn’t sure how easy her own light would come to her right now “You have” she paused as she thought about how to phrase the thought out loud “A certain lightheartedness about you that’s really refreshing” she commented with a slight tilt of her head, considering the little she had gotten to hear about his past it really shocked her that he could be such a bright person, she wasn’t sure could if she had gone through all that, she was a strong person no doubts but even she had her limits.

The brunette hadn’t let her hair down in a long time, she was always the one that needed to keep things together she guessed, she knew Bradyn was going through a lot and so she had been the one to worry about responsibility, she’d been the one to pay the bills while Bradyn spent his on drinking and she had been okay with that because that was what she agreed to when she married him, for better or for worse. She did look totally like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar when he caught her twirling though and she bit down on her bottom lip, well that was embarrassing. He didn’t seem to judge though, much to her relief as her attention turned to his hand “You can’t just go around leaving a cut like that, it might get infected” she scolded and shook her head a little, though there was still a playful smile on her lips as she retrieved the first aid kit.

She moved back over towards him and took out an antiseptic wipe and looked up to him for the okay before she took his hand and turned the palm upwards in hers and then wiped down the cut, she had first aid training because she was a teacher so this was pretty easy for her. She heard him talking but didn’t really take in what he said at first but when she realized a soft smile appeared on her lips, the kind of smile that reached to her eyes genuinely “Me too” she admitted though she kept her eyes down on his palm as she grabbed a bandage and ran it around his palm and around the back of his hand a few times before securing it “I think I’ve been blind to the world around me for far too long” she admitted “And to myself I guess, it’s been about we for so long I think I forgot about me” she twitched her lips into a half smile as she looked up at him “Thanks for reminding me she still exists” she let go of his hand now satisfied the bleeding would stop.

Seeing that he had placed some wine into glasses her eyes lit up a little “It’s like you actually read my mind” she spoke as she grabbed one of the glasses between the fingertips and then laughed softly, this was the very wine she had been saving for some special occasion for as long as she could even remember back to, ironic that would be the one he chose, she didn’t mention it though as she held her glass out towards him “To finally becoming the friends we should have been?” she toasted with an amused smile before she drank down some of the bubbling liquid which tasted even better than she imagined it would. Damn, she definitely should have drunk this a long time ago, though she supposed this was a special occasion of sorts.

Dakota shrugged a little with the way he responded, she couldn’t really be mad if she was honest, she was the same with her adoptive parents, she didn’t want to see them, or talk to them, or have any involvement in their lives any longer. Her mother who abandoned her always made her wonder why and who she might have turned out to be if she’d grown up amongst the family she was supposed to have but in the end Kota had come to the conclusion that she didn’t need any of them, they had all done her terribly “Sometimes I wonder who I would have been if I knew her but I’m not one of those kids who endlessly look for themselves in their parents” she admitted with a slightly nonchalant shrug, she had been an adult for a long time now and she had come to terms with it. She smirked a little at his comment about where his father went wrong “Was he blind?” she asked implying he had definitely been looking for the wrong things.

She did note the way he went quiet after she showed curiosity in what he said which told her that it wasn’t a subject he wanted to get into, she didn’t mind that, they barely knew one another yet after all and were entitled to their own private thoughts and opinions, it just made her wonder if perhaps in time she could earn enough of his trust to get to know. All in good time though, they were still figuring this whole thing out, who they were without Bradyn here. Honestly, she never pictured the two of them getting along as well as they seemed to be right now. When he asked about hurting herself with her powers she coughed a little in surprise but she didn’t attempt to lie about it when she answered him “It mostly affects inanimate objects” she answered indirectly, her glance moving to anything but him for a few moments “But glass tends to shatter...so yeah, a few nasty cuts mostly” she sighed softly, she really wished she had a handle over her powers because she was sure they could be useful to her if she knew a thing about them “I was thinking I may reach out to the diviner ambassador and ask her for help too, at least a spellbook or something” she nodded slightly.

She nodded a little when he mentioned being alone “I always did everything alone” she commented with a thoughtful nod of her head, she went through college and got her teaching degree alone, she dealt with all the lies her parents told her alone, she made decisions about who she was as a supernatural alone, she didn’t know at what point she had lost that independence she always had. She kinda hated that Bradyn had made her into that person and realized how unhealthy her love for him had made her. “I’m not afraid of being alone, I’m afraid of losing myself” she spoke softly as she glanced down to the ground. But it definitely was nice to have someone on her side, because she wasn’t sure how she would have made it through tonight without Austin’s support. It reiterated to her that she could do this, she could make it through this and honestly it was nice to have someone alongside her to see her make it happen.

“We all have a story and most of them aren’t nice ones, the world doesn’t work that way unless you have a lot of money unfortunately and even then it only takes someone to turn on you” she shook her head a little, she did believe that people could only take what they were given and make the most of it, she wasn’t the type for believing there was some kind of plan or unspoken path they were on. If there was then she rejected the very idea of it and would carve her own and she got the feeling Austin might be the same “There’s still time to make your story what you want it to be” she assured with a nod of her head, just as her upcoming divorce wouldn’t be the be all and end all of hers. One day she would find a day when she was happy again, she was sure of it “If you let the world tell you who you are then you might as well just crawl under the covers and call it a day” she assured, her expression fierce but also a faint hint of a smile on her lips, she was a fighter at the end of the day.

It actually surprised her that Bradyn hadn’t really talked about her with Austin, wasn’t that something that a man normally did, speak about the most important person in your life with your friends? She swallowed for a moment as she took in the information, she didn’t know what she was reading so much into the behavior of someone she had decided to move on from but she supposed old habits did die hard. Dakota wasn’t 100% in love with the person she was today, but she was proud of herself for still being able to get up and function after all the things she had been through, she was proud of the person she was at work and how she got to shape young minds into great people and in that respect she cared for herself. Bradyn however, never really had that, he worked because the work got him money, he complained a lot and dare she say, he took a lot of things for granted “It surprises me that he never talked about it and yet it doesn’t at the same time” if she was honest, he never talked about it with her either, which is probably why things ended like this.

She nodded, if she hated him and cursed his name then she was just making this so much worse for herself, she had seen this coming, been bracing for it even and now the moment was finally here and while it felt like a slam in the gut, it wasn’t a full on car crash like it could have been if things played out differently, if she allowed herself to be deluded into thinking things could be fixed “Him hurting me was probably the best way to tell me that it’s time to let go” she admitted with a grimace, as sadistic as that sounded she needed to cut the tie. His pure smile got her caught up for just a moment, her eyes lingering over his lips for a moment, she hadn’t seen him smile this much before, not even when him and Bradyn were joking around with each other “There’s no greater feeling than knowing you’re in control of your life” she agreed with him a nod of her head affirming it, there was something about freedom that really did bring out the best in people “And something tells me you’re onto something better than you let on” she commented with an amused grin, she’d never believed he was wasting his time away in his room, she’d seen the look of concentration on his face many times and there was a look of passion behind it.

There was something about the way he spoke and expressed himself that she really liked, he was subtle with the way he said things but his point was always clear, he probably would have made a great lawyer if he’d gone to college for that and she knew he was good at arguing and debating a point because she’d seen him when he disagreed with something Bradyn said in the past, which now she thought about it was pretty often. They made very strange friends. His words hit her right in the chest because he was so right, being in this relationship had peeled back all the parts of her that she had before she met him and she had sorta let herself become what Bradyn needed her to be, not who she really was. Dakota always dreamed of going out to poverty-stricken countries and offering her time to teach the kids there and she wanted to travel and see the world and both of those dreams had faded away because it wasn’t what her husband wanted to do. She pressed her lips together a little and her bottom one trembled a little as she thought about it “I can’t believe in choosing this I lost parts of who I am” she admitted though she rolled her shoulders back and stopped herself from crying, she’d just told Austin it wasn’t too late to change his life and that could apply directly to her too right?

She gave a hint of a smile when he spoke about liking who she was now though, perhaps those parts of her she thought she lost were still there somewhere and she just needed to find them “Good, because I think she deserves the light of day again” and finding herself again could be a fun journey in itself, especially in a city she loved as much as he did Evermore. Finishing the toast she laughed as she downed about half the glass of wine, it tasted pretty amazing and clearly Austin thought so too “I pride myself in being a bit of a wine expert, even if I do say so myself” she teased with a laugh because they both knew she had no idea at all. His sudden question made her go quiet for a moment as she thought about her answer “I think it’d probably be a road trip, you know, open roads, picking your destinations as you go and seeing what life throws at you” she laughed wondering if that was a surprising answer to him “Oh and definitely some stargazing, I love that” she nodded softly, she knew most of the constellations and their locations by name and eye.

His second question prompted even more thought from her and she even raised a finger up to press against her lips as she thought about it “Probably that my kindness towards them means I trust them” she answered with a slight shrug “My trust, it’s not easy to earn and almost impossible to get back when you lose it” seeing the way he was asking questions it only seemed fair that she got to ask one back, she took the laptop and started scrolling through the films before she stopped on a funny looking one about a talking bear and raised her brows questioning at him “What is your all-time favorite game and why?” she figured she’d start with the thing she knew he was really passionate about already.

Her dark eyes moved to his as he talked about his parents, she got the feeling that wasn’t the complete truth because he had mentioned them several times and it seemed his father at least, had an impact on the person he was now, not in a bad way because she saw someone who wanted to be something else in spite of what his parent wanted “Maybe it did define you a little but not in the way they wanted it to” she commented thoughtfully as she offered him a half smile. He talked badly about his dead father but she couldn’t bring herself to blame him if he’d try to drag Austin into war and a life he never wanted for himself. She was a little ashamed to talk about the fact she’d gotten hurt by her own powers but she didn’t want to lie to him, if they were going to live together then it seemed counterproductive to hide things. He was right though, magic was very volatile and hard to control, she had no idea what she was doing but fire was the same way, it fed off energy and got stronger “That...might actually be the most helpful thing I’ve heard…” he spoke as she thought about it a different way, fire could be put out different ways depending on how it started and maybe magic was the same.

She nodded her thanks for his offer to help, honestly, she wasn’t going to turn away any help right now, she needed to get a handle on it before she hurt anyone, she needed to figure this out quickly because the last thing she wanted was to cause anyone pain “Yeah...only thing is that I’ve...never met her?” Kota commented and bit down on her lip, she hadn’t met the previous one either, wasn’t really sure how you approached an ambassador when you were denying the existence of your own supernatural status. She listened to the way he talked about his own independence or lack of, she supposed and it made her furrow her brow a little, she honestly felt like she wasn’t herself at times, whenever her own choices were based on others rather than herself she supposed, that felt like an injustice to her own worth “You did what you felt was best” she admitted as she gave him an assuring look, she didn’t get the feeling he would maliciously let anyone down after all. Despite the fact they hadn’t been friends for long, Kota believed him when he said he would stick around and she didn’t believe the word of others just like that often “Okay” she spoke softly “And in return maybe I can help you find yourself, you know, the you that isn’t in the shadow of your past” she gave a slightly shy smile because she wasn’t sure if he would be offended that she suggested that he might not know exactly who he is.

She was encouraged by the fact that he took in her words and found some sort of comfort in them, she had always been told she was good at talking to people and making them understand, she liked to think she was able to bring out the best in some, though it was evident she was also capable of bringing out the worst too. Her mind drifted to Bradyn for a few moments but she let it go with a dismissive shake of her head “See that’s the spirit” and then she laughed thinking how ironic it was that he’d been trying to cheer her up all this time and she ended up turning it into a pep session for him too, sounded like her.

She parted her lips as he tried to explain what he knew about Dakota and Bradyn, she wasn’t exactly offended, she didn’t really bother to insert herself into knowing about their relationship before now and honestly, she felt some regret for that because she was pretty sure the three of them would have gotten along very well had she not distanced herself every time they were together. When he spoke about things he could never un-hear she rolled her eyes playfully “You have a really honest way of phrasing things” she admitted with an amused look on her face “I like it, you shouldn’t apologize for it” it was nice to have someone so directly say what they meant to be honest, most people were so worried about hurting people’s feelings that they never said what they really meant.

The dark-eyed diviner liked to hear him talk, he had a soothing voice and he always spoke directly but she’d found everything he had to say interesting so far, she had always thought of him of quite a quiet person, he kept to himself in his room working on his games a lot and when he did venture out, he’d have a short conversation with her or Bradyn before heading back, she’d seen the two of them hanging out and while they did have banter and jokes, Bradyn had always been the louder of the two and Austin more reserved. But it seemed when you actually got him talking he was quite the passionate person. She hadn’t been expecting him to tell her what he’d been working on so when he blurted it she looked at him a little shocked, her eyes widening as she stared back at him “Woah woah slow down” she spoke as he just went into nerdy babble mode and then smiled softly “What’s the presentation for?” she asked curiously as she leaned on her elbow, she’d never seen Austin so excited about something before, it was adorable.

She was really interested to know about what he was working on, she loved being around people who were really passionate and she’d never really seen this side of him before, not that she had really expected to considering they weren’t exactly close, or even friends, before but it did make her happy to know there was a driven side to him. She had been worried for a while that he might have lost the will, considering how much time he spent alone and in his room but now she understood better. When she felt his hand on her shoulder she didn’t pull away this time, instead she lifted her head to meet his eyes as he spoke “A wise woman huh?” she asked as she laughed softly realizing he was quoting herself back to her and then she nodded and reached up to wipe her tears away, though she was smiling too “Yeah you’re right” she admitted with a laugh “Not to figure out what story I actually want” she had it mapped out before, now it felt like a blank page...which was excited, but also a little scary.

“One step at a time I can work with” she responded honestly, he made a decent point, she didn’t have to have everything figured out right now, she could wallow a few days, she could focus on getting a handle on her powers and getting to know her new friend. She could think about work and plans she had for her classes once she got back. “I kinda like the idea of just being able to go anywhere you know, no fixed address” she laughed thinking she suddenly sounded much like the younger version of herself before she settled down. When he spoke the word us and then corrected himself and got flustered she smiled “Why not us, we could make great road trip buddies” she didn’t really have any friends that would be into the idea anyway, her sister certainly wouldn’t be.

She realized her idea of a perfect weekend probably sounded a little cheesy, especially the stargazing part but it wasn’t her trying to sound intelligent or anything, it was actually the exact reason she had agreed to get this place in the middle of Evermore. Because it had a beautiful balcony patio area with enough room for two chairs and a table where she would often wrap herself up in a blanket and just sit and watch the stars, especially in the summer when it was groggy and hard to sleep. She was lost in thought about it when his conversation pulled her back to her senses “I think you’re on the right road Connelly” she teased with a chuckle in suggestion that he definitely hadn’t given her a reason not to trust him yet.

She was curious to know what it was about games and playing them he loved so much, she’d had a few games of her own and she actually had a Nintendo Switch so it wasn’t like she was opposed to them or playing them but she’d never really got into one on a level that she would consider it the best thing ever. She did know a lot of games had really in depth and interesting storylines though and a lot of them were challenging and required quick thinking and strategic planning to succeed at. Her expression softened when he explained what the game meant to him though, she hadn’t realized her question would turn out to be quite so deep, she sucked in a breath “Competitive like there are rankings?” she asked, changing the subject to the more positive side of it “Are you high on it?” she questioned with a quirk of her dark eyebrow though she did give him an understanding smile.

His question about her career made her smile, that was the one part of her life that she never really questioned, she loved her work, she loved what her work allowed her to do and sure it had it’s pain points but she wouldn’t give it up for anything, that’s how you know you love it right? “My career is basically my entire life” she responded with a laugh “Seeing those kids every day and knowing I get to be a small part of the person they’re going to be one day, getting to teach them things and see the way their eyes light up as everything begins to make sense” she laughed softly “It’s priceless to me” she admitted “though I would love to teach in a less developed country one day” she added not wanting sound completely stagnant with her dreams.

She stayed put while he wandered off to his room, everything in the apartment was on the same floor so you could pretty much hear everything from everywhere, sometimes late at night when she couldn’t fall asleep she could even hear the music spilling from Austin’s headphones as he stayed up late most nights gaming. When he came back shirtless her expression faltered, she knew she should have looked away instantly but instead she just kinda sat there a little dumbfounded by the view. It took her longer than it should have to clear her throat and get herself together, she tried to pick up from his words and avert her gaze so he couldn’t see the faint blush on her cheeks “I just want to continue feeling like I’ve made a difference, you know, that’s everything to me” she was still staring at the wall away from him when he asked her about her favorite color “Does silver count?” she asked with an amused laugh, she loved silver jewelry but it wasn’t exactly a color itself. She shook her head at herself realizing she was being ridiculous and forced herself to turn back towards him.

God. He was so handsome. How had she never noticed that before? She ran her tongue over her bottom lip as she tried to think of another question to ask him “What’s the single most important personality trait to you?” she asked as she snuggled herself against one of the pillows on the couch and leaned against it as she watched him, much more interested in what he had to say than the movie which he’d now clicked play on and was beginning in the background.

Reply to Discussion

RSS

© 2024   Created by ✓ Ophelia Dreyvalian ~Admin~.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service