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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Clarissa Bradford ~Admin~ on November 3, 2018 at 16:36

Life had finally started to settle once again after the traumatic events which led to Siobhan almost accepting Death’s invitation to the afterlife; the children which they had saved had been returned to their family, or to a familiar legal guardian, although, she was sure - despite the good news, Dominic still raged with what happened to them. Clarissa had kept in contact with the two, however, she never found herself returning to the cabin, despite the numerous of invitations that were sent to her. She wasn’t sure why she kept making excuses to not go round; she wasn’t traumatised by the events, however, after giving it some thought - there was only one reason why she said no. Clarissa didn’t want to see Siobhan in the state that she was now in; Dom had kept her in the loop and how the near death experience had impacted Siobhan more than what they expected. The darkness had slithered through each and every ventricle of the blonde’s mind and plagued her with demons that haunted her of that night, and taunted her how everyone and everything was a threat to her. Clarissa was not one for emotions, and tried to avoid them at all costs, however, every day seemed to test her ability to block them out; yet, in this particular instance, it was easier to avoid them and better for her.

Clarissa had already found herself feeling guilty for constantly putting Sio’s life in danger, with the constant threat of Abraxas; she couldn’t save her last Christmas, and as if time repeated itself - she couldn’t save her from getting hurt on the night of saving the children. To see Siobhan, would bring those emotions to the surface and that was a huge pile of no for the dark angel; talking to the blonde on the phone was bad enough but tolerable. And she was under the impression that if she stayed away, Siobhan would be safe; of course, this realisation hit her like a ton of bricks and weighed heavy on her heart. To distract herself, Clarissa found herself doing homework on her Mother and to continue that line of work as well as the usual working out and drinking; and much to her disbelief, she continued to spend time with that particular red headed angel that she once swore to kill.

Today was the same, bang on lunch time, she found herself leaving the paperwork on her Mother on the kitchen table and warming up to start her 5 mile run on the treadmill. Slender digits ran from the roots of her dark hair and tugged the strands back so that they sat as a pony tail at the back of her head. Clarissa adjusted her sports bra and leggings before jumping on the machine to begin her jog; sweat had just began to appear upon her tanned flesh when a hard knock on the front door rang in her ear. “The fuck?” She breathed out, and stopped the belt; allowing it to push her off. Clarissa grabbed the towel and hung it around her neck as she answered the door - only to see a rather small looking blonde. At first, Clarissa could barely recognise her, but the moment she did, something sunk in her stomach; Siobhan was no longer the Siobhan she knew and loved - something was wrong. Her lavender tained eyes glanced up and down the street before ushering the young nephilim into her house. “Siobhan? Should you be out?” She questioned, a brow pushing upward as she closed the door behind her.

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Siobhan Leslie ~Mod~ on November 15, 2018 at 2:48

Siobhan had been standing there knocking, if she would have been knocking any harder she may have split the skin on her knuckles. Her eyes kept darting around to make sure no one was going to reach out and snatch her from Clarissa door step. Maybe this had been a bad idea just showing up out of the blue, though they had talked on the phone, it didn’t feel like enough. She really wanted to just see her face to face, to know that she was okay. Clarissa was much like Dominic and tend to cut herself off form her emotions and people who evoked emotions from her. And with the forever threat of Daddy Bradford around, she felt that they need to be closer than ever. Siobhan had been strong for a little while but lately she came to realize that if she was going to survive this supernatural world she was thrusted into just over a year and a half ago that she was going to have to be smarter. More tactful, and who better to learn how to become that way then the Bradfords.

Siobhan had created connections with all the Bradford’s one way or another. Clarissa she looked at like an older sister and her best friend, she was the one she cared deeply for and would gladly take a pullet again for. Cornelia even with her cold demeanor at first had taken the young Nephilim under her and worked on teaching her how to be a proper nephilim holding her to a higher standard. The thought of Cornelia made her wonder if her sister had told her and she was disappointed in her taking on an undercover mission on her own. She had ever gained connections with Jonathan, as he had saved her from a few a few of Daddy Bradford thugs after the Christmas party and Dominic was Hex. Jon helped her with a job when she had no income coming in. Even Isaiah and Sio have a strange friendship with one another.

Siobhan gaze didn’t focus on Clarissa right away she was ushered into the the apartment they had once shared for a short time when Clarissa had drunk herself to a stupor after the Christmas party. She focused her gaze on her, her eyes sunken in clear that sleep wasn’t coming easy to her. She pulled at the sleeve of the oversize jacket she was wearing, before moving the hood back and off her head. “Well I wouldn’t have had to come into town if you would come and see me.” She let a force chuckle leave her lips. Before moving from where she stood to the kitchen and opened the fridge knowing that if anyone had something to drink it was Clarissa. She pulled out two of the beers and moved sitting at her table opening the one for herself and sat there for a long moment. “Risky…” She looked to Clarissa and bit her lower softly “I want you to train me, and not as easily as you have been training me. I want assassins training. I don’t want to be hurt so easily anymore.” she sniffled as she rubbed her red nose with the back of her sleeve before chugging the beer she had just opened not setting it back down till it was gone.

She then picked at the label on the empty bottle and looked to her. “I am not sleeping, any backfire from a car I jump higher than I should.” She looked back to the bottle then opened the other one that was there. “I am dreaming every night about that day, how I was beaten by that vile man.” She sniffled again and then downed the next beer and sat the bottles back down as she moved holding her head as she began to sob. “I should be stronger than this.” She whimpered as she leaned her head down to the table.

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Clarissa Bradford ~Admin~ on November 20, 2018 at 20:15

This was quite a sight to see, albeit horrible to witness; out of all the people she knew, she always believed Siobhan was the strongest one, despite her, at times, quite endearing attempts at being physically strong - but mentally and emotionally, she was the strongest by far. Siobhan, unlike herself, was always open to feeling, not matter the emotion and what would come of it, whereas, Clarissa would avoid anything that made her feel things she was scared of. The one thing she did not fear was death, and thus, would always throw herself into the mix which was why she found herself angry at Siobhan for protecting her when it most definitely could have killed her; Siobhan had much more of a life to live and for her to go give it up for Clarissa was a crime that she could have never have forgiven. Therefore, to see Siobhan in such a state was one she would never wish to see again and that would be her reason for not presenting herself at the cabin; and to vocalise that, she knew that Sio would bite back and comment on just how stupid she was being.

The forced chuckle which caressed her ears made a slight smile tug up at the corners of her lips, however, she knew there was meaning behind her words; a bitterness that Siobhan could never say without slight humour - in fact, the mere comment made Rissa scratch the back of her neck in an awkward manner. “Yeah, about that…” Her words were laced with an awkward and husky laugh, unsure of how to answer it - her words were at a loss, yet Siobhan needed an answer as to why Rissa never showed up, despite making some form of an unsaid promise at her bed the day after the event. “You are safer without me in your life, whether you like that idea or not. And to see you in that state was more than my tainted conscious could deal with” Clarissa cleared her throat, she was a truthful being, but it was easier to give the harsh truth to people that she did not love; maybe Cornelia was right - Bradfords should not make friends and maybe… Just maybe, coming to Evermore was a mistake. A life in the Assassin’s League wasn’t all too bad, she did have loyalties there, but it was the life of a warrior and she knew all relationships there would not last; yet in this life, things were too unpredictable.

Her gaze watched Siobhan as she headed straight to the fridge in the living room, only to grab herself two beers; to know she was not going to offer Clarissa one made her laugh - spending so much time with Dominic was most definitely starting to show. The act caused Rissa to shake her head and allowed a silent exhale of a laugh to bypass her lips as she, too, repeated Siobhan’s actions to grab herself a beer and to sit opposite her at the dining table. Upon hearing Siobhan’s request of training her on how to fight and how to survive as an Assassin made Clarissa widen her gaze, but to also open her beer so quickly that it overflowed; to try and save the liquid, she quickly wrapped her lips around the rim of the bottle to soak up the alcohol. Once she had swallowed the alcohol, she took a moments silence to try and process what was asked of her. Although Rissa would not change the lifestyle she was given, she certainly knew it was not a life she would have chosen for herself; given, Siobhan was not asking to become an Assassin, but what she was asking was to not only fight like one, but to, at times, feel and think like one.

Clarissa placed the bottle back upon the table, however, kept it in wrapped within her fingers as she leaned back into the wooden chair; her lavender gaze watching Siobhan intently. “To fight like an Assassin will also mean you will need to learn how to feel and think like one too, and that is not something I will happily allow you to have” Rissa sighed softly, the rise and fall of her chest evident. “It will change how you perceive and act in relationships - yes it will protect you in more ways than one, but it can also damage you. Are you sure you want that?” She quizzed as she finally leaned forwards, her forearms resting upon the wooden surface; her head tilting curiously. However, moments later, one arm extended so that her fingers could wrap around one of Sio’s petite hands just to give it a reassuring squeeze. “You are stronger than you will ever know, and you are not alone, many people that go through such events will relive them - in many different ways.”

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Siobhan Leslie ~Mod~ on December 23, 2018 at 7:31

Siobhan hands were shaking like crazy but holding the bottle in her hand helped her keep some control as she looked to the dark angel whom she hadn’t seen in a while.  She watched the dark angel struggle as to be around her. As she explained how her life would be safer without the Bradford in her life. She frowned deeply looking to the woman in front of her and then looked back down to the bottle in her hands blinking the tears in her eyes back feeling a wave of hurt wash over her. “My life would not be better without you Clarissa. What happened to me was on me Rissa. You can’t take my mistakes on to you. I stepped in front of the bullet to protect you, Dom and the children. You want to know why Clarissa…” The blonde gaze moved to Clarissa once again holding it “Because you are my sister Clarissa and I love you, no matter how hard you push me away I won’t be going anywhere. For fuck stakes I flew from Doms to be here to see you because you have been avoiding me.”

Siobhan came here determined to become a fighter tired of always being the weakest link among the Nephilim faction and yet as the dark eyes of the angel across from her stared at her and began to explain how become an assassin would change everything about her. She looked at her with tears in her eyes as she cleared her throat and then closed her eyes tightly. “No.” She sniffled rubbing the sleeve of her shirt to her nose making it turn slightly read “I am just so lost right now.” Her hand held on to Clarissa tightly as she had tried all the methods at hand to feel better. “I have tried everything I know to ease the pain and fear I feel Rissa. I tried exercise, I tried drinking, I tried cleaning, I tried everything I know.” She took a shaky breath as the tears rolled out of her eyes unable to stop them now at this point “and yet every night i relieve the events over and over again.”

Her small hand held tightly to Clarissa as she explained what was going on with her. “I see Derek in my dreams he is beating me like he was when he held me captive.” She swallow hard as her eyes closed “The events of that night will forever change me and my outlook on people. I thought if I learned to be an Assassin I could learn to turn my emotions off so I don’t feel so pain and hopelessness.” She placed her free hand to the scar in the center of her chest now. “How… how do stop the pain Clarissa?” she didn’t open her eyes to look at the dark angel who sat across from her. “Maybe it would be everyone around me who’s lives would be better without me around.” She sighed Heavily as she finally pulled her hand back standing up getting ready to leave Clariss behind, wondering if maybe even Dom would be better without her in his life.

She took a few steps before standing there looking around Clarissa apartment. “A year ago, I got you home after your fathers men attacked us. That night I swear to you after you downed all the alcohol you could stand that I wouldn’t let you feel alone anymore. That you would have one person in your life that was there for you and had your back, I am afraid I have failed that. I’m so sorry,” She swallowed hard as she kept her back to her “I hope I brought some happiness into your life Clarissa, you will always be my sister.” She took a deep breath before making her way towards the door.

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Clarissa Bradford ~Admin~ on January 18, 2019 at 20:39

Upon hearing the string of words that Siobhan put together, explaining to her that Rissa was like a sister made a warm feeling begin to heat up within her chest; a very odd sensation and one she was still trying to adjust to - it was a rare feeling for the assassin, and despite being in Evermore for a year and a half, forming relationships was still incredibly hard. That was the primary reason as to why she couldn’t bring herself to visit Siobhan the weeks after the accident, maybe it wasn’t necessarily because she couldn’t see someone so fragile be fragile but maybe because she was scared of the feelings that it would provoke inside of her. Yet now, Clarissa found herself regretting not visiting her - which in hindsight was a lot worse, it was all the emotions building up at once; if she had only just bit the bullet, she would not be faced with the negative feelings now, and certainly not in front of her best friend. Clarissa felt, in that moment that Siobhan had just given her a back handed comment - claiming to love her, that she was her sister but then being bitter with the fact the injured one managed to make the journey to her. God good, Clarissa felt like an awful person - and out of all the things she had done in her time, this would be close to taking the top spot.

Clarissa sighed and leaned back into the wooden chair, it was almost like she had deflated from the guilt of it all; she remained silent for a few moments as she watched their fingers intertwine, her own hand giving Siobhan’s a reassuring squeeze - try as she might, she probably would never understand what Sio was going through right now, they were, after all, wired differently. “I love you, Siobhan - but I don’t, call me selfish but I don’t ever want you to change” Clarissa admitted, both of their lavender flecked eyes meeting across the table. “The world needs more people like you - you are pure, and loving and kind to everyone you meet. You want the best for everyone and will go out of your way to help them” Clarissa could feel the lump appear in her throat and she tried incredibly hard to swallow it back down - she often refused to allow any other see her cry. “I want to help you, in any way possible but please, I beg you, please let this training be your last resort. Please.”  She knew her eyes began to water as her sight became a little blurred, Rissa blinked a few times to keep the tears at bay; yet that didn’t stop the odd tear running course down her cheek.

With her free hand, she quickly used the back of her fingers to wipe the few strands away as she listened to the horror stories that plagued the young blonde’s mind - she was too young to have experience so much negativity; and Clarissa wished she could take it all away with a click of her fingers. “I hate what life has done to you, you don’t deserve any of this” She sighed and caught how Sio rested her free hand over the scar in which the bullet once rested within; Rissa ran through her mind, trying to find alternative methods to help which didn’t result in Siobhan losing her feelings. “We can go away, just you and me - a trip, anywhere you want. We can travel, do typical tourist things, get ourselves in normal, mundane trouble” The laugh which tried to escape her sounded nothing more than a exhaled laugh until she heard the question. “I guess you can say I have split personality, Dissociative Identity Disorder if you will” She smiled, her fingers toying with Siobhan’s. “You see this side of me, but someone else will see another personality - and when feelings happen, I get scared and I run to within myself - allowing the other personality to protect me”

Of course, Clarissa had never been professionally diagnosed with such a condition, but it was the best way to describe how she copes with the endeavors of life. “I have so many personalities, it can be hard to figure out what Clarissa is the real one” Her brows forwarded at the thought, before forwarding even more at the final string of words which caressed her ears as Siobhan stood up and headed towards the front door once more. It was as if someone had taken a knife to her heart, but this hurt a lot more than she could have ever imagined; she always knew that words were more of a weapon than any gun or any knife. Clarissa allowed Siobhan to get it off her chest, the negativity, the feeling of not being good enough - it was always better to voice the issues than allow them to remain inside before running towards the front door; she put herself between Siobhan and the door, keeping her inside. “I will help you, but first you got to stop feeling sorry for yourself” Maybe a new approach would stop Siobhan running from both herself, and Dominic.

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Siobhan Leslie ~Mod~ on February 4, 2019 at 14:36

Siobhan never set out on making Clarissa feel bad she was just trying to express the hurt she felt, her thoughts were to muddled to clearly express anything. It was like she was a shell of what she had once been, with everyone in the cabin it was easy to get lost in the shuffle of what hannah needed. While Sio knew that Dom had watchful eyes where always on her. She hated being weak in front of him, in front of anyone that was a huge flaw of hers. She was taught by her mother to be nothing but perfect and yet she fell so far behind that mark. Here she was hurting someone's feelings she loved all because she was hurting. Maybe she shouldn’t have come and waited for Clarissa to come see her. But the impatience took hold of her and she acted.

Siobhan watched as she sighed and leaned back into the chair. Siobhan teeth sunk into her bottom lip as she felt maybe she had gone too far in her statements she hoped that Clarissa understood what she meant as she placed her hand in hers feeling her soft squeeze. As Clarissa said she loved her but also didn’t made her brow raise “Oh.” she said softly and then looked to their hands “Why, maybe if I wasn’t so weak, so fearful I wouldn’t end up hurt so much.” she said lowly, letting her eyes flick back up to meet the slightly older Nephilim, She hung her head slightly as she listen to Clarissa say all the things people claim to see in her and yet all she saw was the selfish Nephilim who tired to keep everyone out of her failures. “I am selfish Clarissa, and I am so flawed.” she said lowly as if she couldn't admit it out. Letting her eyes look back up at the sound of Clarissa getting choked up. Siobhan took in her watery eyes for a long moment before the odd tear rolled out. Siobhan heart broke completely in that moment “Okay.” she said softly as she reached her hand up to whip the tear away though Rissa beat her to it. “It will be a last resort.” she agreed to the dark haired nephilims wishes.

“I hate what life has done to us all.” she said softly and whipped her face and took a few deep breaths to keep herself leveled. The only person who knew all of her horror stories was Dominic letting Rissa in on that part of her life honestly felt good. Her eyebrow raised as she spoke of maybe going on a trip and traveling a bit. Dominic was going to be leaving on a mission in a few weeks, he has no time frame to be back either, meaning it could be months till she sees him again and by that time hannah and her mom should be out of the cabin meaning she would be alone and that was something she didn’t want “I have never been out of Colorado.”  She said thinking about it outloud for a moment “Could we? Go on a trip? Do something normal and fun? Away from the danger that tends to plague our lives?” she could feel a swirl of excitement inside of her something she hadn’t really felt in a while. Doing something out of this city is what she really need to reconnect with herself once again.

She listen as she explained having Dissociative Identity Disorder, as her fingers moved along Siobhan’s.  She hummed out softly at the thought of what she was explaining she had “So different parts of you come out to keep you safe.” She let her eyes held their hands for a moment before flicking them back up to her “I like to think I am seeing the real Clarissa.” she said softly as she then moved to make her way back to the door. Feeling like maybe she had taken enough of Clarissa time. It took Clarissa stopping her by getting in between the door and herself.  Siobhan stopped herself before she ran straight into Clarissa as she looked deep into her eyes for a long moment. She moved closer to Clarissa and took both of her hands and placed them on her face as she spoke next. “I don’t want to feel this way. I just don’t know how to make it stop.” she took a deep sigh before she looked to Clarissa eyes “How do I stop feeling sorry for myself?” she asked honestly. She didn’t want to run anymore, infact she made a promise to Dominic that she wouldn’t, maybe Clarissa was another person she needed to make that promise to. “I never even thanked you for coming to save me and those children.”

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Clarissa Bradford ~Admin~ on February 9, 2019 at 11:20

“We are all flawed, are we not?” She queried with a slight tilt of her head; she had never met anyone who wasn’t, and if she had, she knew damn well that they were lying - in her experience, and in the world they both lived in, it would be impossible to avoid picking up a flaw or two. Eventually, Clarissa leaned forwards once more, her purple tinted gaze fixated upon the younger Nephilim, and she couldn’t help but wonder what her childhood was like to make her thought pattern so dark - a different kind of dark that her own mind was attuned to. It was in that moment, that Clarissa realised she didn’t actually know much about the person Siobhan was before she moved to Evermore yet Sio knew a lot more about her own dark past; why was that? Was Clarissa proud of her past, of all the missions and kills that she had been on, was she proud of the blood which tainted her hands and the night terrors which frequently visited her each night when she closed her eyes? She wasn’t sure, and she didn’t want to know - but it made her realise, maybe she was a lot more like her twin that she had anticipated; she was more humane but when it came to showing off, maybe she was his equal. A light smile curled up at the tips of her lips as a brow quirked. “Enlighten me, how are you selfish?”

Siobhan was far from selfish, she single handedly went in to save the children despite the danger she was going to put herself in - and if Clarissa was completely honest, she was sure she would have turned a blind eye to the situation; would she have gone to the extent that the blonde had gone to? Probably not. Clarissa nodded once, glad that Siobhan agreed to use the Assassin training as the last resort - if she would only meet Isaiah, he would definitely put her off of the training, despite his own flaws. “Life is a bitch, but sometimes you gotta make it your bitch” A wink dripped from her left eye as she watched the girl consider her proposition of going away together; it had been a while since she had gone away just for a holiday; in fact, she couldn’t even remember when she last went abroad. Hell, she never had a friend to go on holiday with, so the likelihood was - she had never been on a mundane holiday where the drinks were free, the sea was on her doorstep and where killing was not on the agenda. “Well, that’s that sorted then, where shall we go? As long as it’s warm and we can get a tan, I’m very easy going” Rissa laughed as she noted the sudden change in Siobhan’s movements and tone of voice; and to be frank, she too, couldn’t deny the sudden urge of excitement.

Rissa nodded only once when Siobhan tried to understand and process what she had said about having different personalities; and not that Rissa saw that as a healthy option, but she would also prefer Sio to have those rather than have the assassin training. Yet, she also knew that she would need to train her eventually, even if it was not to be an assassin, but show her all the possibilities that being a Nephilim had; they lived in a Supernatural world and in that world, dangers lurked in every corner. “I hope this is the real Clarissa too, but maybe we will never know” She smirked in a teasing manner as the two of them found themselves at the front door; she was not going to let the young girl leave just like that. “Accept your flaws, accept the negative sides of yourself. I’ve accepted I’m a murderer, and someone who didn’t and still doesn’t, care for another’s life.” She commented. “Accept that your soft heart is a weakness, but it is also your greatest strength. Fighting and feeling  like an Assassin will only get you so far.” And that was true - she couldn’t count on one hand how many times her training had stopped her from a life that Siobhan had got; finding love being one of them. 

An arm extended so that a palm could cup one of Siobhan’s cheeks; her thumb rolling over the girls defined cheekbone. “You don’t need to thank me. And let’s face it, Dominic would not have gotten inside on his own before he was taken down” She was unsure if Siobhan knew actually how the two managed to get themselves to her; and how Rissa almost had to put on her own personal show for the boss to distract him from the brute of a therian who was making his way into the building. “Now grab a drink, think of any destination and we will fly out - have a sisters holiday and then work on building up your physical and emotional strength”

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Siobhan Leslie ~Mod~ on April 8, 2019 at 2:41

“My mother wanted me to be perfect in every aspect of life.” She said softly remembering how her mother would whack her hands with a ruler when she got out of line. “I know I shouldn’t care what my mother thinks anymore.” she let that thought hang in the air for a long moment as she thought about how she somehow even to this day wanted to live up to her mother's impossible image of her. “There is a lot you don’t know about me, I guess with all the trouble I tend to attract we never got past the current day Sio did we?” she asked softly, reaching up tucking her hair behind her ear. Sio had lived in Clarissa home and saw her at one of her worst moments, drunken and scared. Why had she not opened up, had it always just simply been because Abraxas was a more important threat? Her blue gaze held the nephilim in front of her. “How am I selfish?” she repeated the question back before letting out a soft breath through her nose.

“I put myself in danger willingly, with no regard for how it will affect others in my life.” she said honestly as she ran her finger against the table. “I went undercover to take my mind off Dom and how a part of him was missing because of my mistake. How he doesn’t fully remember me and what I was to him. I felt helpless so I dove into something far to big. I was being selfish and childish. Yes it ended for the best but…” she sighed heavily letting her thoughts trail off. She rubbed the side of her neck softly. “Well right now I am life's bitch.” she laughed softly as she watched Clarissa wink at her. She watched as Clarissa seemed to be excited by the idea of going away on a holiday with her. “Well I have never really been outside of Colorado so anywhere would be good.” she pulled out her phone and sat it down with a picture of a map and looked at it for a long moment. “Warm and getting a tan sounds like bahamas to me.” she chuckles softly at her looking to her for her approval.

It seemed like all the Bradfords had their hands full when it came to Sio, Jon had been her boss and tried to train her for a short time period before she left to save Dominic from Lucifer whipping herself from Dominic memories, she wondered if Jon even thought about her. She had made progress to the point she could hold her own. Yet a human manage to harm her, granted she was tied to a chair and her wing scars were hit often to keep her in one place. She squeezed her hand gently “To me this will always be you, my friend, my sister.” She looked into the dark haired angel eyes for a long moment. “I am going to need all the help I can get accepting my flaws and negative side. I am not use to being allowed to accept those things about myself.” She raised her brow at the angels comment. “You don’t care for another's life? And yet you showed up to save me.” she pointed out to her. She really did have a soft heart and being a nephilim made her feel emotions at such a high rate making it softer than most. “I wouldn’t make a good assassin.” she said softly as she rubbed her hands together softly. “Just wanna turn off my emotions sometimes.”

Siobhan closed her eyes as Clarissa palm cradled her face, it was affection she never had from her own mother figure in her life. “I do have to thank you Clarissa, you kept Dominic alive, and got the children to safety while I was dying. Dominic refuses to go into details, we really haven’t talked about that night. I don’t want to relive it with him.” she said softer, “I see the anger i his eyes as if whatever happened was not over for him.” She moved with Rissa getting a drink for them each. “Holiday first, maybe then I can stop reliving that night.” she took a long drink. “Bahamas or Bora Bora?” she asked looking at hot holiday spots for first timers.

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Clarissa Bradford ~Admin~ on April 22, 2019 at 17:01

Clarissa listened intently and nodded her head slowly as she listened to Siobhan open up every so slightly about her past and the relationship that she had with her Mother; and although the blonde did not open up that much, it was enough to make Rissa realise that her own ideology of what parents could be were nothing more than a fantasy made up. For many years, even throughout her adulthood, she dreamt of the perfect nuclear family, where both, the twins and their half siblings could grow up and feel safe in; in fact, it took many months for Cornelia to change her mind on Abraxas. Upon arriving in Evermore, Clarissa was adamant that she would get Abraxas’s approval, and she may well have if she decided to join his dark path; but she left a dark path and she didn’t necessary want to join another. The moment she realised Abraxas was the mother that her sister continued to state, Rissa was heartbroken; and to hear that Siobhan didn’t necessarily have a good relationship with her own Mother saddened her. “Everyone seeks approval from their parents” She reassured, a slight bemused smile finding her lips. “Look at me and Abraxas - even now, I want to have him say he is proud of me, rather than him wishing to stick a knife in my back” She exhaled a short laugh, parents - who’d have them.

The pad of her finger ran across the rim of the empty bottle of beer as Sio began to list off the reasons of how she was selfish - and yes, Rissa did agree with her, but she couldn’t decide whether or not that made the girl selfish or not. She tried to take a different approach to where their conversation was going. “It sounds like you’re trying to avoid something, by jumping into all these reckless situations” Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Clarissa kept her tone light, she was no psychologist but she did wonder what Sio was trying to avoid, or even prove by getting to such predicaments; however, she was not one to talk, she was the master at avoiding feelings, people, and situations when she didn’t want to put herself in a vulnerable place - and not seeing Siobhan for what felt like months after the shooting, just proved that. “You’re an adopted Bradford, Sio - you’re just lucky you don’t have our blood” She mused as she returned the gentle squeeze. “I’m a very flawed person, and even though you can hate them, it is these flaws that make you you” She nodded. “Your Mother does not live in Evermore, so this is the perfect time to become the Siobhan Leslie that you are - not the Siobhan Leslie that your Mother wants you to be” Rissa noted, before rolling her lips in thought. “The Bahamas sounds tempting, very tempting”

“You’re my soft spot, what can I say” Clarissa laughed, her smile almost reached the corner of her eyes - it wasn’t very often that she went out of this way for someone else that wasn’t family. Evermore was a different kettle of fish for her also. “I don’t think you can switch them off, but you can certainly try to learn to ignore them” But that was easier said than done, after all, Rissa had been doing that for almost thirty years. “Dominic and I continuously owe each other our lives, I save him so he naturally has to save me when I next get into a sticky situation” She shook her head, recalling the night in which Dominic and her met. “I don’t suppose he ever told you how me and him met?” It had felt like many years ago now that she met the therian - and what a time that was. “Don’t blame him for that, he’s naturally angry and naturally avoidant, he’ll speak up when he is ready to” She reassured, knowing that Dominic was almost the male version of herself. “Girls holiday, sun, cocktails - handsome waiters, what could be better” She wiggled her brows as she reached into the fridge to grab two more beers before glancing over Siobhan’s shoulder at the phone in her hand. “I vote Bahamas - we can save Bora Bora for the next dramatic situation we get ourselves in.” She offered, and sat next to Siobhan, but on the table.

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Siobhan Leslie ~Mod~ on June 4, 2019 at 19:38

Siobhan at this point just couldn’t stop talking, about her feelings and everything going on with her. Maybe it was because she had been so scared to express that she held fear in her heart. Most would find Clarissa to be tough to talk to, or so the dark angel told her yet when Sio came to her that night in the bar she knew she wasn’t. At least not for her. While she wished she could open Clarissa up more Isaiah her twin brother had told Sio once, that sometimes they didn’t talk about before because it would bring up bad memories for them. It was easier to hope the past would die.

Though the sad look that crossed Clarissa face as she spoke of her poor relationship with her mother and then she closed her mouth as she listen, her own lips turned into a frown as she couldn’t understand how one could want to kill their parent even with everything that Siobhan and Sophia had been through, Sio still loved her mother deeply even if they didn’t see eye to eye on many things. Her eyes didn’t leave Clarissa as she let the statement roll from her lips as if it was just a bad joke. “I know I don’t know what its like to have a parent who is as extreme as your father.” she said softly after all she had been harmed by the mad man’s pawns herself “but I get what you are saying.” she said gently.

The moment Clarissa pointed out that maybe the reasons she was one to jump head first into danger could be to avoid something, cause the younger nephilim to open her mouth to tell her she was wrong to find herself closing it. Had she been avoiding something, or rather someone.  Ever since she removed herself from Dominic memories to save him from a diviner hex she hated herself. She hated she took that part of his memories away from him with no consideration for him, she was so sure she would have been able to get him to remember her. She thought it would be easy but it proved to be not that way at all. Sometimes she could see him remembering something such as a nickname and then other times it was like she was a stranger.

Loving someone who didn’t remember the times you had was toll taking and Sio hated feeling out of control so maybe that was why she did the things she did in hopes to be able to control something in her life. “Maybe you are right.” she muttered softly. Her gaze moving to Clarissa again and a smile came to her lips as she spoke of her being adopted among the Bradfords “There is nothing wrong with your blood, just your father.” she said soft as she squeezed her hand tighter. “What if I don’t know who Siobhan Leslie is?” she asked softly because it was ture at this point she felt rather lost to who she was to be. “I have done so many things since finding out what I am and yet I don’t know Who I am.” she said gently as she looked to their hands “I fear I may never find out who I am.”

She smiled softly again and shook her head. “Soft spot huh?” for anyone else it would have sounded weird and yet with Rissa it made sense. “I guess with time I will figure it out, being a nephilim doesn’t help though since we tend to be over emotional.” she leaned back in the chair as her eyebrow raised and then she shook her head. “I honestly wouldn’t have guess until recent you and Dominic know each other especially since you both are rather private people when it comes to your past. Will you tell me?” she asked wanting to know the story of how the pair of theme meet.

“The thing is I don’t blame Dom for anything nor should I.” she swallowed hard as she looked down in shame “I blame myself fully for everything even the anger he is holding on to. I kept secrets and ended up almost go everyone else hurt because of it.” she said as she reached her hand up to rub the back of her neck “I was stupid, and should have asked for help before it was too late.” She gave a chuckle “Well the drinks, sun and time away I could go for as for the handsome waiters, I will let you take them all.” she chuckled as she took the Beer that Clarissa brought over and nods as she booked the tickets for the next day and looked up to Clarissa. “Guess I should go pack and let Dominic know then meet back here and spend the night? Girls night in to start?”

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Clarissa Bradford ~Admin~ on June 14, 2019 at 18:08

It continued to annoy her on a daily basis that she continued to wish for Abraxas’s approval of her, for him to accept her as a daughter; Rissa knew time and time again that this would never be the case and no matter what she did, he would never take her in - unless she completed a series of dark missions for him which would probably lead her to killing her siblings which she could never do. Even the simple thought of completing that sort of mission sent her stomach into overdrive; thus, never mind how difficult, she really needed to overcome the idea that she would never get the Father she wanted, or needed. Yet, she found it bizarre that she had more hatred for her Mother compared to Abraxas, when in reality, all her Mother did was leave her and Isaiah, as well as separate them - that, in the grand scheme of things was simply child play in Abraxas’s books; yet here Clarissa was, wishing death upon her Mother, but approval from Abraxas and for him to take her under his wing. Her lips curled ever so slightly at Siobhan’s comment of understanding where she was coming from in terms of her Father. “It is rather strange that I had no idea who he was until a few years ago. Before then, he was just a sperm donor” Rissa grinned and downed the remaining droplets of her beer.

“Of course I’m right” The darked haired Nephilim replied in a playful tone as Siobhan was able to see where she was coming from in terms of throwing herself into things to try and avoid what was truly bothering her. "We all find things to use as a distraction to void stuff" To lighten the mood, she wriggled her brows; even to this day, and having her emotional side show a lot more, dealing with emotions of any kind was incredibly challenging. Yet she found that she would make certain exceptions for Siobhan when it came to voicing them; even though she knew she continued to hold a lot back from her, and would continue to do so. Clarissa waved her free hand in dismissal. "Oh there is plenty wrong with the Bradford blood, look at my Twin for example, love him but boy, trying to keep that kid on a straight path is not easy. I dread to even think of other possible Abraxas offspring" She visibly shuddered at just the thought before returning her attention back to Sio; the blondes statement of not knowing who she was, made her question her very being, but she had a good idea of who she was, and unfortunately it wasn't very good. "You will find out who you are, but from where I'm sitting, we already know - you just have to see it yourself" Rissa nodded with a slight chuckle and the curse of being over emotional; she definitely used that as an excuse for her violent outbursts. Clarissa eventually lent back as Sio questioned how Dominic and her met and she shook her head in amusement. "We had a fight in an alleyway over some old jewel which a few different groups want. We lost the jewel so to save our arses, we went and tracked down the jewel to some human military basecamp" Despite at the time being very frustration, looking back she was glad she met the therian that way, and not simply at the bar.

Clarissa watched how Siobhan began to book their flights and hotel room on her phone, the beer bottle touching her lips which curled at just the thought of the fun they would get up too; even if it would just be Rissa flirting with the many men. "Go, go, go" She encouraged, although she knew it would not take her long to pack with the little clothing she would take. "I will order us some food and gather a few different films for us to watch. One chick flick, means at least two horror films" She winked, she found herself being proud of the girls spontaneity as not many would book a holiday for the very next day. "Be back here by 8pm, don't be late or else I can't promise there will be any food or any further beers for you" Clarissa teased as she walked Sio back to the front door.

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NephilimPermalink Reply by ✓ Siobhan Leslie ~Mod~ on August 12, 2019 at 2:49

Siobhan stared at the Darker haired nephilim for a long moment before she gave a soft night. “Everyone keeps telling me I am a ball of joy and lately I just don’t see myself that way.” she said honestly, “I don’t think I shine as bright as I use too Rissa.” she reached up tucking her hair back softly. “Is it okay if I don’t shine as bright anymore? Can the people I love still truly love me if I am not the old Sio anymore?” it was a question that weighed on her a lot with the thought that one day Dominic would get his full memory back. Would he love her? She wasn’t as bubbly, or innocent as she once was. “Am I okay with not being so shiny?” she asked the question out loud but it wasn’t really for Clarissa to answer, as she mused in her thoughts for a moment.

Siobhan couldn’t help but smile at how Clarissa and Dominic meet. “Honestly, the most Rissa and Dominic story I could think of.” she gave a soft chuckle in amusement and then returned with her own story of how her and Dominic met. “I meant him shortly after I activated my nephilim self and gained my wings. I was out in the woods trying to find who murdered my brother and father, I just knew it was not human at all.” her gaze stared far off for a moment. “The creature attacked me and we went over a cliff edge I got the beast through the eye with my arrow though. I had broken my leg though full bone sticking out and everything. I remember laying there crying and then he was there. Not really wanting to help because he thought it was a set up but he did. He took me back to his cabin and well I guess the rest is a lot of ups and downs.” she gave a sigh, “He doesn’t even remember how we meet.” she furrowed her brows softly. “All because of me.” 

Siobhan shook her head as she stood up. “Enough of my tellanova life.” she chuckled and moved towards the door. “Right I will be back.” she gave Clarissa a big smile, before opening the door and managing to slip her way out and make her way back to the cabin, explaining to Dominic she was going on a trip with Rissa for a week, he seemed supportive as he was about to leave on a mission himself and it would mean that Clarissa would be around to keep an eye on her. So Sio backed a bag and Dominic drove her open dropping her off before going to the Ailward manor. She stood there watching his truck pulled away before turning and knocking on Clarissa door once again, being there just before 8. She pulled out the spare key she still had and opened the door walking through it. “I’m back!” she called out dropping her bag next to the door moving towards the kitchen.

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