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Pacing back and forth in a clearing has been Malva's newfound specialty these days, considering that's about the only thing she has been doing. After Cora confronted her regarding her daily routines that were somewhat quite 'disturbingly unhealthy' for someone like her, she had to go back through her records to see if people still believed her hiatus from the hospital was due to a transfer to Georgia. Apparently they still do and well, to say the Aspect of Magic was slightly relieved would be an understatement. She's been thinking about it since last night, the thoughts of returning to work as a pathologist there once again has been bugging her head. A little voice in her told her she should resume her work as one, maybe that could get her head away from some things that has been doing nothing but bring doubt and reluctancy to her. Whilst it was just as important as others, she was leading an unhealthy lifestyle, so much her younger sister had to shook her out of the state.
She still spent her time working on to retracing some trails back, but it's going to be slightly minimal due to her working commitment. She can't agree that performing autopsies and cutting people's bodies open was the option she opted for, to take her mind off things, but she wasn't being picky nor choosy. Today was the day she was supposed to resume her working days, and 'returned' to Evermore. And yet she has been doing nothing but pace around since last night. Her tendency to block things out and endurance was surprisingly a talent for the Aspect of Magic. However, other than the useless timed pacing, Malva had took it up to her to go through the tress of her sister, Cora. She's been around someone, she wondered who. The slightly flaxen haired Aspect was happy that her sister found a company as such, but she had a feeling that she wanted to know who the mysterious person was, and so she managed to get the contact out. He works as a medical examiner in General Evermore.
Time to work.
Brushing her hair for a while before letting it cascade down her shoulders, she wrapped a scarf and coat over her before taking her bag and make her way out of the room. As per usual, the habitual liking of locking her room and enchant them before leaving was making its comeback too. Passing through a few guards by the living room, she took the liberty to drive there even though she never actually did that when she was still working there, a time ago. The Russian born Aspect had more tendency to fly over there rather than doing a mundane thing such as driving. But, it has been a little bit too while that she hasn't transformed into her dragon form and after a while of thinking, she didn't opt for it, considering she was supposed to lead a 'normal' life. Whatever it was that Cora meant, she was going to take that challenge up. If there was anything that the temperamental Ailward didn't like, it was being challenged. At least the Aspect of Darkness was able to pinpoint that easily to get her to do things.
She started the engines to her Volvo V40 and didn't take long to make its way to her destination. Stretching her limbs once she parked the car at the parking lot in the basement of the hospital and got out, she inhaled the cold air of the morning. At least, it was refreshing. The sounds of her heels made their own rhythm every time it clacked against the pavement as the Aspect of Magic got into the elevator to go to her floor. Once she got there to check herself in, she was greeted with a few familiar faces who wished her return with smiles. When was the last time she was within the social reach out? She couldn't recall. Setting her stuff in her office, she wrapped herself with her doctor's coat, where her name tag was still etched upon. There, the name Malva Arguarde, was present. Such an irony it caused the Aspect to snort. While she was quite proud of her family, she didn't go around to flaunt her surname, and she was there before the period of the time where the whole city knew of their existence. Now, on to pay a small visit to the person she knew her sister had been mingling around with.
Rashesh Patel.
Malva tucked her hands in her coat's pockets before making her way down to his floor. She was sure she remembered that name from somewhere but then again, she couldn't truly be sure about it. Only one way to see if it was right. Contrasting her first look when she came to the city, her hair was no longer in it's dark reddish auburn shade or tied up no more. Now, it was slightly more modern, surprisingly, considering the Aspect of Magic wasn't a fan of the the 21st century by a mile. Her hair was longer until it reached her mid back length, and it was more flaxen, giving off a much more lighter and blondish shade. There was a few slight braids, as she remembered her heritage. It befits her pale complexion and steely blue hues. Instead of fashioning herself in dresses, she now styled herself with more of leather jackets and jeans. Cora's influence got to her. Arriving at the floor, she tilted her head slightly when she saw the male by the hallway talking with a few nurses. She was sure that she wasn't the only one who could see her in her peripheral vision and it was only time telling that the male would see her because she was literally just standing there.
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Rashesh gave a deep hum in agreement with her most recent statement. “That it is none of us are truly immortal if you think about it. We all have a weakness, even if we don’t like to admit we do.” He said as he let a gentle breath from his nose. The fact of the matter being he didn’t know how much time he had left and yet he wanted to live every moment he had. He knew that she was much older than he was himself. Sometimes he wished to know what she had been through that had made them fear the celestial enough to lock them up. His eyes looked at her slightly widen at her question and he his brows pulled together. “I would say at this moment I am grateful for it. Yet I think it varies, as when we were locked up I had wished for death, the day the woman I had love went missing I had wished for my death also. I think every immortal has those moments till they actually face death, and I don’t just mean your brother.”
Ra eyes stayed on her as she talked about her behavior and how once upon a time it wasn’t like it was now. “Time and events have a way of changing people. But it is also in your control if you change completely or hold on the best parts of who you once were.” He said freely because he himself was a different person from the star that first hit the earth and yet he like to think he held onto the parts that made him, him. The way she spoke of the world caused the hair on the back of his neck to raise up. He had never met anyone who had talked about the world in such a way as if she was expecting something dark to happen just because that was how the world worked. “Damn that is dark, even for a moody aspect.” he said as he then looked back to the body.
The reason they were both there he was sure at that point. Her just poking into him was more of a side venture. “We have been keeping the details under wraps with the lose of Cornelia everything in the city just seems tense.” He said as he then took a step aside from the body removing the gloves to gather the files. While the department had a task force on it, he didn’t see the harm in letting the Ailwards look into it also. Stopping the murders was what was the most important. He wanted to go a week without a woman looking like Emily showing up on his table. “More happening in the city than any of us want to admit.” He said as he sat the case files on the table that was not being used. “Maybe your guards can find something I haven’t been able to.” He let the breath pass from his lips.
As her eyes softened towards him, he wasn’t sure what to do besides look down from her. “I just want answers at this point.” Rashesh had moved on, finding a place with Cora a place he had not expected and yet he could never truly let go until he knew what knew what happened to Emily. His eyes moved to look up at her as she spoke of a weakness of her own. She showed a vulnerable side to her, Yet it wasn’t comforting what she was saying. He stared at her blinking as he processed the fact that the Aspect of Magic couldn’t connect with Magic. “Well that doesn’t spell well for the city. Does your family know? Does Cora know?” He asked as he moved closer. “Maybe we should run a head scan and see if its something physical.”
"Admitting you have a weakness is either a survivor's move or a foolish one, depending on your situation but I like to think that if there were better alternatives, I'd still opt for the other" Malva wasn't used to spilling anything, 1200 years can pass by and the Aspect of Magic will continue to keep herself tight lipped. Was she stubborn? Hard-headed? Maybe. But then again, who isn't? Especially for someone who had never needed to look another way for help because she had people close to her for that? But now as her own siblings were slowly breaking apart from their circle following multiple tragedies that kept befalling the entire faction, she wasn't even sure what to know anymore. She couldn't even figure out what's wrong with her own magical state, much less other things.
"Believe me, death is either a chance or the opposite. For some people, death is what they wanted instead of having to live on this earth as an immortal being watching as everything you cherish wither away. And another, wished to stay alive longer to enjoy the prospects the world has to offer." She didn't want to choose either one, really. What she wished for is for the world to keep on being glued up so they won't crack under pressure. She wasn't strong enough to handle anything else. Not yet. Not until Malva finally find out the reason to her magical properties deterioration. A chuckle escaped her when he called her a moody aspect, well he wasn't wrong, was he? Malva was often dubbed moody by a lot of people, in general. "Maybe I'm just being pessimistic and realistic?" Was that even a term together? "People going missing is the least of our problems right now… Evermore General is short staffed and we have double the number arriving in every single day, half of those are victims found outside our border."
Something is happening and if they don't get to the bottom of this soon, she wasn't even sure if there would be much of a city to look out for. "We don't have the numbers we once had, I'll be honest on that" Mal let out a heaved sigh and leaned against the table, "Some of ours even went missing during missions and I'm afraid of sending them out honestly. Because I can't track them. Either I'm being blocked or I'm just… being extremely unhelpful at a time like this." Which really doesn't work with the whole disconnection thing. "Either way, I'm not being helpful when I should be... " It was no wonder why Malva opted to stay here in her office instead of being cooped up in her room doing nothing. "Don't get me wrong, I've tried plenty of ways to get back on track but nothing seems to work. Not one."
Last time she tried a simple tracking spell? The map busted into flames in less than a minute. Mal frowned when he suggested they should run a head scan if it was something physical blocking her, she never thought of that but so far the Aspect of Magic had been pretty healthy. No harm in trying out, though, right? "My family knows I'm a bit in a wack but I won't talk to them more than that. It's hard to acknowledge you're becoming incompetent in the area where you should be well-versed at. Do you think it's something physical? Like… brain damage?"
“Well I guess with you Aspects it's a lot easier to hide your weaknesses since you have a team of people to keep yourself safe.” Rashesh pointed out, he had been held captive by them and couldn’t even point out a weakness short of ripping their heads off but he wouldn’t even get close to doing that with her, she would rip his heart out before he had a chance. “What is it like anyways? I have never had round the clock guarding well besides when I was in your cages.” He joked for a moment and looked to her with a serious look. “Does it get annoying?” he wondered if she would be honest with him. “Or just use to it?” he offered her an out with the question.
Rashesh blinked for a moment staring at her. “You are kind of a morbid one aren’t you? And here I thought the drunk one was to be the morbid one.” He snorted as he shook his head slightly at her. “At some point we have all wished to no longer live on this earth. If someone says otherwise they are lying.” He said as he focused back to what he was doing. “And we have all wanted forever. It's just a case of those who accept their truths or take things from themselves. “Yeah well sprinkle a little optimism in your life. Maybe find someone who does that for you. I think you would find a little sunshine goes a long way.” he said as if it was a fact, though who was he to say he spent weeks as an outright asshole after Emily going missing.
He looked at her in disbelief. “Well what happens in the hall has nothing to do with me. I am only part of the Evermore General staff because the police department wanted it that way. So to me Missing people are a high problem.” He shook his head to her as he looked back to the body. Maybe he was too close to this but would he admit that outloud? No. He looked to her as she talked about their lower numbers and he then looked down for a moment, though her admittance of her powers not being up to par was what caught his attention. He looked to her with concern. “I know you are the aspect of magic but have you talked to another magic wielder and let them see what may be stopping you?” He wondered to himself if all of this had to do with the craziness that seemed to hit Evermore in the face lately.
He felt a sense of trying to help her but keep it a secret because if word got out, she would be a target and that was one thing even a celestial like him didn’t want. He then moved and patted the table there for her to sit down and pulled out his tracking pen. “Not brain damage unless you have taken and extreme amount of damage recently? Maybe something growing that shouldn’t be there? I can’t rule anything out till I do test if you want me too.” He said as he looked in her eyes with the light. “Once ruling out physical there is mental health also though.”
She couldn't help but to let out a rather dry chuckle when he said they had a whole team of people to keep them safe, "It's not as easy as things make it look. We can't even afford to show any weaknesses to our own guards" she shrugged, she knows it would be a personal challenge for them to hide it away, especially from their personal guards. Mal had a hard time trying to evade Octavia but their relationship was unlike others. When he asked her how it felt like for her, Mal tried to word it as easy as possible, "It's a protective measure. It shouldn't be something we're foreign to, sometimes we have to be protected, or else who's going to keep threading the balance of the world? But it gets tiring and annoying, for sure. When you want privacy, you can't exactly tell them you want to go outside somewhere in public without their eyes on you. They'll never allow it. And there were times when I had to make them… sleep for me to sneak out."
When Tatiana was her guard, she never had that trouble because the Aspect of Magic would often sneak out with the dhampir's help. "But I have to get used to it. I can't be selfish. What if something happens to me because I insisted on being left alone? My insolence would cost me more than I thought." To be called the morbid one doesn't sound weird to Mal, she's always been so ominous and dark, even when she doesn't attempt to be it. "Just because I'm the eldest sister, doesn't mean I'm the responsible one. I was one of the youngest to die, everyone else should be older than me." If she could recall, she was only 19 when she passed. "You're right, sometimes we wish to be rid of the trouble the world lands on us. I did. But I'm here to be of service to the world, nothing more nothing less."
So free will? What's that even? The Aspect didn't expect to be given advice from Rashesh, of all people, but she wasn't dismissing it. God knows she needed a lot of those. Has she talked to people about it? Her problems? "Not directly. I've tried to communicate with the spirits by the ancestral plane, but they gave me the same answer over and over again. My connection. It's dwindling… withering. I need to reconnect or else, the trouble that'll befall us? I won't be there to fix it. I was thinking of going through it sometime this month, if I'm not kept busy here." It's not as if she didn't want to fix herself. "Besides, people can't read me. Unless you're an actual psychic, and even then I won't let you read me, it's just something that's been embedded inside me for centuries. Kind of a defense mechanism if one would say. I block them."
The last time she allowed someone in her head, she had snapped so hard because they went too far into her head. Too much into her past. The thought of her suffering from brain damage was scary, even to the Aspect of Magic. She took a seat at the designated spot and stared at the male before her, sighing softly, "I don't know. I've hit my head plenty of times but… who hasn't? The most it'll do to me is probably concussion, something I can heal from" she couldn't think of anything else. "There's no way a brain tumor is growing there... " she shook her head, she scanned for that too, there's no way… right? "Go ahead, do whatever you think is necessary. The MRI scan is near my office level, we can go there once you're done here." She was on the pathology department, strangely near to radiology department. "Mental health?" she choked out a laugh, "Well… that's not… new."
Rashesh looked her over for a moment and shook his head. “Not being able to be weak around those you rely on sounds like an awful way to live.” He frowned for a moment thankful that he didn’t have to live his life always being strong. “How exhausting that must truly be.” he said gently with slight sympathy. As she spoke about how she got around the guards from time to time he gave a slow smirk. “Makers of your own rules and yet breakers of your own rules. Seems like you need some kind of other system.” He said waving his gloved hand in the air. “I get your guys importance on the world.”
The stark looked down to the body for a moment. “You shouldn’t be alone, Isolation breeds some of our darkest thoughts and inabilities to go on. Sometimes we think we need to be alone. And sometimes it is healthy for us. Yet our body has a physical reaction to the Isolation. It’s a carnal feeling that is meant to drive us mad when we are alone so we will seek out others.” He said as he looked back to her. “Just a thought.” He said with a shrug as he then leaned on the table for the moment. “Mmm.” he thought on her words for a moment and then shook his head. “You are here to keep balance because they knew you could handle that weight. The eight of you don’t have to do it alone. You have each other to lean on. Maybe focusing on that will help make it feel easier.”
As he listened to her talk about the blockage issue she was having. He was thinking it was far more of a spiritual issue than a physical one. With physical at least he stood a chance at helping. But when it came to deeper matters, Malva may have to dig deep within herself to have a fighting chance at her reconnecting. “Well withering means that it isn’t gone. Not yet. So there has to be a way.” He said as he thought about Cora, he wondered if she was having issues with her problems. “Are you...Are you the only one having issues? Maybe it's something happening to the Ailwards themselves? Maybe it is an outside force?” He almost had a panic undertone at the thought that Cora could come to harm, After all he had witnessed how powerful Mal was back under captivity.
He refocused himself on the woman with the problem in front of him. “Well sometimes it takes the right bump.” He said with a shrug. “It could be the first time or the fiftieth.” Rashesh looked her over for a moment and rubbed his hands together. “Tumors in the brain are tricky one day there can be nothing. A few days later there could be a golf ball.” He nodded for a moment. “We can go do it now. This.” he looked over to the woman on his table. “It can wait a little bit.” He said as he then looked to her as she choked out a laugh. “You that fucked in the head that it makes you laugh?” he chuckled lightly for a moment.
She may have scoffed a little bit too loud for her own liking, "Yeah, it really is… but unfortunately, that's a way to live for me. Showing weaknesses… when you're not even sure who you could trust, that's a big thing to be doing." In her case, Malva didn't have a lot of people she could trust far beyond the friendship line. It's just how things are, unfortunately. "Can't get anymore tedious after you've been doing the same thing and routine for centuries though… at least that's what I tell myself. It doesn't get better and I know it won't get any better anyway, so really what's the point in wishing it would, right?" The Aspect of Magic wasn't one to play around with hopes and wishes, it irks her. When he exclaimed that they were breakers of their rules, Mal narrowed her bright hues playfully, "If I make them then I can break them." Nobody was going to stay long enough to abide by every single word, anyway.
"The time comes when you're smart enough to fool your way around the system, that's when you know you've got something going on" she retorted dryly, but made an attempt to hear him out afterwards. Even Mal had to admit, she may be a hard headed person who doesn't like to listen or take orders from anyone due to her rebellious nature but she does hear them out from time to time. What he said made her purse her lips slightly for a moment, there wasn't a wrong in what he said either. Could it be that she's been the one doing the wrong all this time? "Well… your thought is very much appreciated" She eventually gave him a look that said 'I'm not about to repeat that again for you so don't even try' later.
"Believe me, I want to lean on them. We used to work so well back then, we didn't fight as much too. Sometimes I'd like to think that the strain between us is caused by the villain of this story. That… somehow, they're the ones doing this to us. Breaking us one by one. But a part of me also thinks that perhaps, we're just broken. You can't live this long and be fine with everything that you've done without thinking about it again. All the actions I've done, it comes back to haunt me and I wonder if I'm just too scared of facing them again so much I pushed every person I ever cared for because they're a reminder of that." Every time she stares at her family, she'd be reminded of the families she's ruined for the sake of maintaining the balance of the world. What about the bad guy's family? They'd feel the same loss. "At the scale I'm currently at, right now? I wish it would go away instead of staying back and taunting me like a child" she grumbled, it was frustrating enough to grasp her head around this problem, now she didn't even know where to even begin, in order to fix it.
When the Celestial asked her if anyone else in her family was suffering from the same, Malva could see the panic undertone to him and knew he was probably asking about a certain sister of hers, "I think everyone is struggling, at the moment. But they're trying… so that's a good thing. I can't say I know what's going on with them either… which does make me feel like I'm a bad sister. When one of us struggles, the others would be affected just as well. It's the reason why the Gods gave 8 instead of 1, the reason why we're connected. One cannot survive without the other." It's a fair transaction. "I think I'm more afraid of causing more harm instead of losing the spark to me." The energy was still flowing through her veins, she just didn't know how to trigger them again is all. And without control over her domain, what hope would the others have to help her?
"Please, I know I've been fucked in the head long before people even knew mental health was a legit thing in civilization. I live in a secluded and isolated island, Ra. I have nowhere else to be back then." Mal was a bit reluctant to steal him away from his work just so he could help her with her problems but she was also desperate, "Please? I mean if you're fine with it."
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