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The sun began to drearily make its way through her bedroom curtains as she lay atop of the sheets; the storm the night before left chaos in its wake and she knew this as she spent all of the night awake - being tormented by the demons of her past which were naturally triggered by her most recent ordeal. For the most part, Nadiya Delca appeared, somewhat normal to those around her; but normal was hard to define and Nadiya was truly far from the dictionary’s definition of the word. In fact, the Valkyr was rather childlike, immature and lacked a certain aura that naturally came with ageing; she of course, had some adult like qualities - she would have been unable to run a business otherwise but for the most part, her naive shone through. Thus, if one were to look upon the petite brunette girl laying on top of her sheets, they would assume she was no older than a teenager. Sleep was not a requirement for her, persay, but this was the eighth night in the row where sleep had forgotten her; left her behind to socialise with the shadows which primarily were her friends if they decided to be.
Diya knew she should seek help, not just because of the lack of sleep but because she knew she would soon lose control of herself; she could not let Carmel out of her cage or else Gideon would see that Nadiya was dealt with despite her adoptive son being a fellow Ambassador. The girls who worked for her were typically human and as each restless night came, the more their pulses, the more their blood enticed her; and they were her family, they came to her for help - she didn’t want to harm them. Throughout the last week, she had heard Damien speak of the many ambassadors which he had to frequently meet; normally, Nadiya had no interest in the political matters of the City thus never truly paid much attention until recently. There seemed to be one woman in particular that could potentially help her with her… Demons and other self. But to see a shrink? The very thought caused Diya’s stomach to somersault.
Yet here she stood, somewhat glad the sky had turned overcast; the rain gently dropped upon her as she glanced up at the sign - Sofiya Zahara. Diya stuffed her hands within her pockets and looked over her shoulder, for whatever reason, she felt ashamed that a supernatural being needed assistance regarding health. When in reality, her mind was so damaged she doubted there would be much this Initia Ambassador could do for her. With a steadying breath, she pressed the doorbell, and waited for the door release before wandering into the warmly lit room. Her darkened gaze widened as she looked at the ornaments which made the place feel a little more homely than she imagined. The room was silent bar the ticking of the clock, with a quick glance she noticed she was early, thus took a seat beside the window; her hands rested awkwardly in her lap as she waited to be called. This was how it went, right?
Sofi usually tried her best not to manipulate their minds, not that she could directly do that but her persuasion skills when inducing the psychosis on her clients were strong enough to make them do whatever she thought she wanted them to. When she asked her if it was possible to get up on her feet and find her way around in case she got swayed or lost, Sofi nodded, "It is not impossible, I'll tell you that. It depends on what kind of plane you're on. Your kind is much more complex than you would ever admit, it's the place you can't lie to. It knows you better than you do." That's why it is such an essential part of their body. The mind and heart is one and the same, even if they had slight differences from one another.
"There are plenty of ways to wake yourself up without suffering from instant shock. Sometimes when you force yourself to wake without any precautions taken, it could leave a lasting effect on your mental state. I'll give you some of the tips later" she reassured, the first thing she needed to do is assure and teach Nadiya that she shouldn't fear her own mind. "Don't be too afraid and give it power over yourself. Sometimes, your mind can have sinister thoughts that could end up hurting yourself," It must've been hard to control yourself when you just came back from a state like that, in a way, Sofi could understand why the Valkyr had a hard time controlling it too. She sounded so enthusiastic it made the blonde chuckle, it was like she was just a giddy child who she just gave candy to, it was endearing.
Maintaining a close-knit yet professional relationship with her clients had been on the top of her priority list all this while. Delving into her own personal life just to reassure them that she's a friend that can suffer similar problems as theirs is nothing to her. She could do that much. "I don't think I could do that, no. But I haven't tried so I have no idea what's the full extent of my powers yet. There's no manual book to my ability so I still document its manifestation every single time it displays something new." It was as if the Initia was conducting an ongoing research on herself. Moving past the bloodlust stage wasn't easy, she knew that. Yet here she is today, standing in front of her, looking fine. If nature persisted, she was a meal for the Valkyr but she was able to compose herself. Sofi realized she might need to meet Carmel after all. "Has anyone survived an encounter with… Carmel yet? Except Damien and Logan, I guess." She was curious about that.
Not that Sofi wouldn't be able to defend herself against Nadiya, she's a Psychic Master and not to mention, a Metal Master too meaning she is good at fighting overall. Still, a Valkyr is a Valkyr. While she could get hurt easily like anyone else, Nadiya has far superior regenerative abilities and could probably crush her easily with the enhanced physical strength. "Perhaps, I never really paid them any mind. People can write whatever they wish about me" she chuckled, it never really bothered her. She heard the slight growl and took note of the change in her behavior, but didn't push her too much, "Do you wish to talk to me about what happened? Whatever you tell stays in this room and between us." When she asked her if she had room to learn another, Sofi shrugged, "Maybe, if I put my mind to it. But I'm not really a model polyglot, I suspect I was only able to learn languages easily because I learned psycholinguistics too. Do you have any language you wish to learn?"
That comment washed her with dread even for the briefest moment; that it was possible, if not fact, that her mind knew more about her than she did. Did that mean that Carmel knew Nadiya more than she knew herself? Considering it was in her mind, that she resided? It was fact that Carmel had been created to protect Nadiya from the trauma she had suffered in her years, and if she were to remember previous internal conversations with her; then it was highly possible it was true. The thought caused Diya to flare her nostrils for a second before shaking slightly to shake off the thought. “I wonder what you would see if you jumped into my head, and if it would go easy on you or not” She pondered before quirking a brow. “I wonder if you would even physically meet Carmel?!” Diya exclaimed, she, despite their differences, would love to physically meet Carmel; they shared the same face in the real world but in her head, Diya always pictured the female somewhat differently to the mirror image.
Although they were discussing how to wake oneself up from the dream realm, Diya could just about pick up on the undertones which suggested they were also discussing what to do when she lost control and the power was given over to Carmel. “I can’t imagine forcing yourself out of a mental ruck is particularly good for your body, precautions in place or not” A thoughtful expression occupied her features but she was keen to hear of the safety tips that Sofi could provide. Nadiya simply nodded at the response of not knowing if she was completely able to bring someone else into someone else's dream with her; and from reading Sofi, Diya somewhat doubted she would be eager to do so without conducting research into the issues which could arise. Nevertheless, Nadiya perked up. “Well if you ever want a guinea pig, I’ll offer up my services to dream walk with you - it won’t ever appear in your user manual until you try” She nodded, not necessarily realising how forthcoming she was being. Besides, if Sofi did want to try it, she probably had better suitors to join her than a delusional Valkyr.
“Weeeell, technically Damien didn’t survive Carmel. I, she, we… fed upon him in one of our frenzies; and when I came too, I had realised what we had done and turned him. We didn’t reconnect until we both found ourselves in Evermore.” She brought her fist up to her mouth to cover it as she cleared her throat. “Logan, he doesn’t know about Carmel and for the time being, I kind of want to keep it that way. Even if it is dangerous for him” It was selfish and Logan had every right to know why she was careful with blood; he just suspected it was due to monitoring.
Once Nadiya had calmed down, and the growl had been dismissed, she felt almost bad for aiming such attitude towards Sofi; although her professionalism covered any emotion she felt after being on the receiving end of that. “It’s the reason I am what I am today, Frank was both lovely and a monster at the same time… Its safe to say probably every woman who encountered him felt the same way” She was still dodging, but it didn’t feel right to release such history on their first appointment. “You sure are one intelligent bunny!” Diya laughed. “I guess, Spanish has always interested me, or maybe something scandenaivan”
Nadiya's mental state seemed… haywire, if she was being honest. Sofi still has yet to take a peek inside which she usually wouldn't do unless she received the permission from her selected clients, and even then, the blonde wishes she would not need to do that because getting into someone's head is not easy nor is it fun. It is easy to get lost in there, that's for sure. And Sofi did not like to take risks like that. But one reading from her aura mixed with her body language, it was clear she was in distress trying to fight this other side of hers. "Me too, I wonder if it's a maze or if it's a mirror. Either way, both would end up giving me a challenge." When she raised her voice a bit, she admit she was a bit taken aback but the curiosity is still there, would she? Would she be able to meet this Carmel? "Now that you've said it, I can't help but be curious…" her subconscious is still very much real, just in ways Sofi could not explain to her.
To be fair, the psychic Initia was taken aback when Nadiya volunteered to offer herself to be a guinea pig, of all things. Was this right? Was this even ethical? "If I'm to write this down on my book, plenty would tell me it's extremely unethical but then again they think lobotomy is also that… robbing people's senses away despite the consent being given. They're not like me, they don't have the ability to dive into someone's head… quite literally." Dream walk, could she finally get into it? Wouldn't this give her more input to work with? But at what cost? "You're awfully eager to go through with this even though it can obviously be very dangerous. Aren't you afraid?" Upon hearing that she didn't really give mercy to Damien but instead took it into her own responsibility mantle to turn him after what she… or Carmel, had done. Normally she would be very disturbed by this but perhaps it was due to the fact that she takes a lot of supernatural clients that these things barely fazed her. It felt numb somewhat.
"So technically both don't really know about Carmel that much?" She was inclined to believe her because of the distress signal her body was emitting, not because she was kind enough to believe just about anyone. But of course, like any other person, Sofi required proof. And she wants to find it. She could easily be diagnosed with a bipolar disorder given her personality change, alongside dissociative identity disorder, but there was more to it. "Scandinavian languages are either sexy or rough" she exclaimed, she always found it to be that way during her time in Norway. Danish are just alike. "I'll be lying if I said I never thought about dream walking but I can't do it alone, I mean I need to have a subject and nobody is bold enough to try because of the risks… yet here you are, offering yourself. It makes me wonder if you're in the right mind." The genuine curiosity in her tone indicated that she wasn't insinuating anything, she was just really curious.
“Oh my mind will be the best labyrinth that you’d have ever seen, or would ever see. I truly believe that. I’ve been a friend of the labyrinth of near on a century and I’ve yet to find the middle or the beginning if I truly think about it” Diya quizzed and although delusional, she knew she probably didn’t make too much to sense to the outside world and it had concerned her many of times that no one had considered placing her in a PICU for Supernaturals. The image of a place like that always made her skin crawl, the healthcare professionals there would likely be unkind and more scientific than caring. Either way, attending Therapy could most certainly put her there if Dr Zahara believed her to be a risk to herself and to others to which she was.
Diya shook her head, there were plenty of things to be afraid of in the world but Dream Walking didn’t seem to fit that bill. Of course, she knew there would be risks but ultimately, she guessed she knew that eventually there would be a way out, and Sofi being not on an Ambassador but a trusted therapist, she would highly doubt that she would just leave Diya in that realm. “It may have it’s dangers, but I know there are people in this very realm that would stop at nothing to bring me back and that’s comforting and makes my decision pretty easy.” She smiled. “Besides! What a story that would be to tell others!”
“Damien knows enough to keep himself and others safe, but the two of them haven’t properly been introduced despite it being a couple of years in Evermore” She glanced down to her fingers which twirled in her lap. “I think Carmel would rather do background commentary then deal with him head on. She’d probably want to rekill him but then knows our relationship would never be the same” She exhaled a laugh, it was bizarre to think of the two, Diya and Carmel to be friends but she guessed, in a way they were. “Wait. In this therapy what is our goals exactly? To eliminate her completely or just… Tame her?” Her eyes widened.
“Right mind, left mind… They just do things slightly differently, no? Neither is right or wrong? It’s subjective!”