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Permalink Reply by 26hh0iy0rsg81 on February 16, 2019 at 21:26

Sleep. Sleep was something that did not come easy to the male the night before. He remembered crying and crying, cursing himself, breaking down in the arms of his lover before finally closing his eyes to exhaustion, it was more like he passed out before the nightmares began. It started off slow, a scenario of him young and with his family at the dinner table but then it quickly shifted to an image of each of them slowly sputtering out blood and collapsing on the mahogany.

Mikael shifted in his sleep, one nightmare rolling into another as he watched his now comatosed sister also die before it all disappeared into the void, a blackness he couldn't figure out. Finally when he opened his eyes, sweat breaking across his forehead, the male reached for the comfort of the only other person he cared about more than anything in this world, however he was met with emptiness.

Turning around he found the bed empty and swallowed, a fear settling deep in his being. "Ophelia?" He tried to call out but his voice was softer than a whisper, completely broken from his condition last night. Finally he rose up, feet sinking into the carpet as he stood. A thought struggled to form in the back of his mind as he tried his best to dismiss it. The little voice had appeared the night before too and he was not ready to accept it.

However, when he found her near the door, he knew. He knew and it threatened to tear him apart all over again. "Where are you going..." He whispered, tilting her head just enough as he hoped and prayed that she wasn't going to say what he thought she was. He took a step in her direction, walking up to the Wayfinder, his voice shaky as he noticed the open drawer in the living room, "Why are you taking your things?"

CelestialPermalink Reply by ✓ Ophelia Dreyvalian ~Admin~ on February 17, 2019 at 16:41

She froze when she heard his voice. She felt like the air had been completely sucked from her chest and she couldn’t breathe, her fingers tightened around the hairbrush in her hand to try and stop herself from shaking. She knew this was the easy way out but she didn’t see any way out of this, not without getting the person she cared for most killed. She took a long breath, trying to push away the emotions that she felt, especially as she heard the tone of his voice, shaky and vulnerable.

“I can’t do this anymore” she admitted as she slowly turned on her heels to look up at him, though the closer he got to her the harder it was not to feel her heart lurch in her chest “I can’t keep playing this game like it’s not going to get someone hurt beyond saving” she shook her head a little, she might even be too late for that but the voice had told her she knew how to save them, repeated the words over and over again like it was drilling a hole in her head.

The look on his face threatened to swallow her hole, she knew now was the worst time possible to do this, just after he had lost his sister but she didn’t see any other choice, she wouldn’t sit here and risk everything on her feelings, this was so much further beyond just her and Mikael now and he had to know the end was coming. “This is my fault, I played this double life for too long and look what happened” it was surprising how calm her voice was coming out considering how much this was tearing her up on the inside.

She was doing her best to keep it together, though if you looked close enough you could see the way her fingers were fidgeting over the brush in her hands or the slightly glossy look of tears that kept threatening to come up in her eyes, she was fighting it with everything she had “I can’t let you take any more risks on me, I’m never going to be where you’re at” Ophelia stated matter-of-factly. Mikael had told her he loved her a long time ago and she had never said it back, now she knew for sure that she loved him but she could never tell him that, she knew knowing that would make him do stupid things, things that put him at risk and she couldn’t handle. She could handle losing him, somehow, she couldn’t handle being the reason he died.

Permalink Reply by 26hh0iy0rsg81 on March 18, 2019 at 13:18

This had to be a dream, no a nightmare. His mind was playing tricks on him. Mikael was not ready to acknowledge what was truly happening. It wasn't that he didn't see it coming, but the fact that she was now standing near the door, ready to walk out of his life, made it a thousand times worse. He stood speechless for a moment, blinking as if willing his mind to wake up from this horrible dream, to open his eyes to the woman he loved secure in his arms.

"This is not a game..." He started, "What we have is real." His voice was shaky, desperation reeking in his tone. "You said we'll get through this." He was holding on to the promise she had made the previous night, those words were what had dismissed the little voice at the back of his mind, the words that told him they were all gonna be okay. "Ophelia.." He reached forward once again, his hand itching to hold hers, "Don't give up on us now."

Her calm composure wouldn't fool him, surely the glaze of tears in her eyes meant she cared, right? That this was as difficult for her as it was for him. Inhaling deeply, Mikael shook his head, "This is not your fault. Somebody did this to Marianna. It's not on you. Or us. You reminded me that." He wasn't ready to let go, not yet. There had to be some way out of this. He was not ready to give up on them.

However when she reminded him that she had never reciprocated when he told her he loved her, Mikael reached out, clasping her hands in his own as he brought them up, "Yes, yes you will." He whispered, his gaze shifting from the hand he held to her doe eyes before he placed her palm on his chest, blanketing it with his own, "You can't tell me you don't feel this." He urged, "I know you do. Please, Ophelia. Don't give up on this."

CelestialPermalink Reply by ✓ Ophelia Dreyvalian ~Admin~ on March 19, 2019 at 23:59

She really wished the ground would swallow her whole right there, she didn’t want to do this, she never wanted to do this. The feeling in her chest only elevated though, speaking the words ‘make it hurt’ to her which made the Wayfinder swallow hard. The look in his eyes at that moment was killing her, her heart throbbing in her chest in pain that she knew she was causing him.

“Of course it’s a game” she corrected him, her voice blunt and her gaze stern as she did her best to swallow her emotions “What other outcome did you think this was going to come to Mikael, we knew when we started this that there wasn’t a happy ending down the line” she pressed her lips together in an attempt to hold herself together. Of course, she wanted to stay and believe in that crazy pipe dream, but she was nothing if not a realist about how the world was cruel and spiteful.

She could see the desperate look in his eyes that caused her breath to hitch for a moment, this is exactly why she had always told herself that this relationship was going to be death of her, her heart ached seeing him look at her like that “You’re right, someone else did this, but don’t tell me that you’re willing to risk it either” her dark eyes were hooded, the same way they had been for a long time, knowing that the guilt just kept piling up on her “She needs you, I don’t” that was a lie but one she would tell if it kept him safe.

She could see the way he was clinging onto what they had like it was all he had left and she felt a little part of her heart break inside, her hands trembling just a little against his as he clutched them. She knew how badly he wanted her to say it, he had always been giving her this hopeful look that one day she would feel like she could, or perhaps it was even a knowing one. ‘Make it hurt’ the words reminded her as he forced her hands to drop to her side “I don’t” she snapped her mouth shut as she shook her head “Maybe I fell in love with the idea of it or thrill of it but I don’t, not the way that you want or deserve” she was doing everything she could to say strong because she knew how her emotions could give her away.

Permalink Reply by 26hh0iy0rsg81 on April 24, 2019 at 21:08

Mikael couldn't believe a single word that was coming out of Ophelia's lips. This had to be some sort of an elaborate prank, if not just a dream. He stood silently for a long moment, listening to her deny everything they shared, every feeling, every memory, dismissing them like they meant nothing. "You're wrong, we can get through this." At this point, the male was grasping at whatever he could, trying to convince her to stay, even though a voice in his head agreed with her. He couldn't live without her, not after everything he had just been through. She was the only thing keeping him from falling apart, he couldn't let her go.

"Fuck happy ending." The male cursed, his arms flying out in frustration as he jerked his head back in direction of the female, "We're happy in the present that's what matters." Curling his fingers inwards into his palm, to keep himself from crying out, the male continued, "Don't tell me every moment we spent together hasn't been happy memories from beginning to end." Clenching his teeth, the male warrior tried his best to keep his tears from leaking out of his eyes.

"Ophelia..." Whispering softly, he took her hand, "I'm willing to risk everything for you. Marianna? She'll wake up. You told me she'll wake up and then things can go back to normal." Mikael was spiralling now, his thoughts slowly jumbling as he desperately tried to reach out to her. However, as she spoke about not needing him, he dropped her hands and in a sudden fit of anger, cried out, "But I NEED YOU, goddammit." He turned away, pinching the bridge of his nose. He noticed the small box he had bought the previous day, hiding under a pile of newspapers, a promise ring, that would remind Ophelia that he would always love her and be with her, a single tear escaping and rolling down his cheek at the thought as he quickly tried to compose himself.

He faced her once again, this time the vulnerability returning in his eyes as he heard her say she didn't feel what they shared, her hand on his chest. He used his other hand to cup her face, still not ready to believe it. "Look me in the eyes, Ophelia." He whispered, his free hand reaching out to cup her face, "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me, because I don't believe a single word you're saying." He gulped, "I love you, Ophelia and I know you feel the same."

CelestialPermalink Reply by ✓ Ophelia Dreyvalian ~Admin~ on April 24, 2019 at 23:16

It was frustrating because she knew there had to be a part of him that thought the way she did about this, that could understand why she had to do this and probably even thought about doing it himself, she also got that he had lost a lot in one night and he was latching on to all he had left, the problem was they were linked. She was absolutely sure in her gut that they were linked which meant the road to getting Mikael his sister back meant going down this path “Don’t you get it, I don’t want to get through this” she spoke harshly as she looked at him “I don’t want to feel guilty for every moment that we spend together because it’s people at risk” she hated herself for being the bad guy, but someone had to be or they were never going to let go.

“We’re selfish, we’ve been selfish this whole time and now it’s paying us back in full” her eyes narrowed on him, she knew there was a fighter in there, the person who always told her he put his sister above everything and everyone. The world hadn’t truly broken him had it. “And I can’t handle being your only reason to keep going either Mikael, you know this was never a sure thing, you can’t have honestly deluded yourself into truly believing we had a future?” she, like him, had been holding onto the now and not thinking about where the future would lead but there had always been that dreaded feeling that it wouldn’t end well.

And she guessed she always knew she would be the one to walk away too, she was the responsible leader who always put her people first, except for the day she hadn’t, she had allowed him to get under her skin, she had gotten attached, fucking hell, she had fallen in love with him so hard that it hurt “She’ll wake up with your full attention on helping her, she’ll wake up when you go back to the Ailwards and ask them for their help with this” she took a shaky breath struggling to get a handle over her emotions. She flinched when he heard him raise his voice, the words striking her straight into her heart, it ached for him, it ached to just give in once again and put this away for another day. But that’s all she’d be doing, delaying their inevitable end, it was better now while she still had the chance to make it mean something.

She’d been doing pretty well so far at avoiding eye contact with him, because it was almost impossible to keep the emotion completely out of her eyes, they were the one place where someone could always gauge her. She felt his hands enclose around her cheeks and her head tilted to meet his eyeline, she swallowed, she hated herself for what she was about to do when all he heart was doing was screaming at her to say the opposite, to finally admit to him those words she had been holding back. She stared in his eyes, showing evident fear in them, she let him say his piece before her lip trembled “Don’t make me do this Mikael” she begged him, her dark hues wavering but managing to hold his, he had to know there was more to this, he had to let things be. She was searching herself for the will to do it because it seemed he wasn’t going to let this go without it. “I wanted to” she spoke softly “I wanted to be able to put you first the way you have always done me but” she bit on her lip “You’re always going to come second to me” there was some truth to that but it still felt like poison on her tongue to say it “So even if I did love you, it wouldn’t be enough” she looked him directly in the eye as she said that knowing she had just told him he wasn't enough for her.

Permalink Reply by 26hh0iy0rsg81 on May 28, 2019 at 19:24

It felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under his feet as every word Ophelia said echoed in his mind. He always knew what they had was temporary that it would end, but he could have never imagined for her to pull the plug on it so soon, especially after everything she had promised him the night before - the comfort, the assurance that his sister would be fine. Everything was falling apart around him as Mikael begged Ophelia to not leave, holding onto whatever he could find to get her to stay. She was right in some way, he knew it and that made it worse. He could not be angry at her or reason with her when he believed the same thing she did and it became tougher and tougher to fight back, to make her stay.

However, her words were harsh and it left Mikael speechless momentarily, "I don't care about the future." He finally spoke up, "All I care about is now. And right now," Drawing in a deep breath, trying his best to stay strong the male whispered, "Right now I need you." It felt like they were going around in circles now but his resolve was breaking, her words slowly getting to him and chipping away parts of him little by little. "The Ailwards won't help me with this." He shook his head, "No you told me we'd look for a cure together, you said you had Diviner friends." He was trying to hold onto her promises, slowly running out of straws to grasp at.

Mikael ran his palm through his face frustrated; at life for tearing them apart, at himself for not being able to fight hard enough, for slowly falling for her words. In a last resort, the male cupped her face gently, questioning what she truly felt for him. He was convinced she would finally concede, tell him that this was all a mistake, that they belonged together, that she was just scared and they would deal with, that they would battle the world together. But all those hopes shattered the moment she spoke and it was the last hit. A tear escaped his steely hues as his fingers trembled against her skin, slowly pulling them back just as like she had gone back on all her words, her promises.

He wasn't good enough for her, the words echoed in his mind. He wasn't enough. He could feel the large blow to his heart, shattering it into a million pieces. He was stunned, unable to say anything as his hand dropped to his side. Slowly feeling his legs give away as the world collapsed onto him, Mikael sank to his knees, silently watching the love of his life walk away from him, discarding him like worn out clothes and he could do nothing but watch. He was so caught up in his own feelings that he had never thought that Ophelia wouldn't feel the same and it broke him, completely. Once her silhouette disappeared behind the mahogany door, a feral scream crawled up his throat and escaped his lips, a desperate cry that echoed throughout the penthouse as the male lay on the floor with a stream of tears pooling around him.

CelestialPermalink Reply by ✓ Ophelia Dreyvalian ~Admin~ on May 29, 2019 at 16:37

None of this made her feel good or did anything to heal the massive gaping hole that was appearing in her chest, she grimaced through the whole thing and tried to keep her expression cold and emotionless. It wasn’t the first time she had been forced to hurt someone to help them but with him, it was so much harder. Because she did care about him, so badly that her heart felt like it was throbbing in her chest from every word she spoke. The fact he didn’t get mad at her or yell made it so much harder, if he was angry maybe that would have helped her to process everything and move forward but seeing the broken look he was giving her. Made things so much harder.

She knew that he would struggle to handle this alone but she also believed in him much more than he seemed to believe in himself, he was a fighter and he was far stronger and resilient than he gave himself credit for. She had seen it in every little thing he had been through and the way he always seemed to come out stronger for it. She had seen it in the way he treated this relationship like it was the most important thing in the world even though he knew the end was imminent and that anything they ever had would be temporary, he had given his everything and in return, she seemed like she had given very little back. She wasn’t as brave with her feelings as he was but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel it, just as she felt her heart cracking right now.

So she did what she had to do. What she spoke was such a lie because the very action she was taking right now was putting him ahead of everything. She would protect him with every breath that she had and if keeping him safe and alive meant not being with him then she would. But seeing the look on his face as she spoke those words, it twisted up everything inside of her and made her want to burst into tears. They were brimming at the seems as she looked back at him and then before she could change her mind or go back on everything she had done she nodded a little and picked up the last of her things and clutched them to her chest “I’m sorry” she spoke softly and she truly was. Mostly that she had let this go on for so long knowing this was the inevitable ending.

Her teary eyes got one last look of him, taking in every feature of his face, despite the sadness in them he was so beautiful and perfect to her and then she turned away and walked to the door. She hesitated for a moment and wanted so badly to look back but she didn’t she pressed forward, opening it and then closing it softly behind her. The moment it closed the tears and sob rose in her chest and she stifled it as best she could as she kept walking. But when she heard his scream which echoed through the hallway she pressed her hand against her mouth to stop herself from doing the same and the sobbing began to come out uncontrollably, what had she done. Why had she set herself for this heartbreak and why did she hurt someone who never deserved it in the process. She was utterly broken as she forced herself to walk the rest of the way out of the apartment and completely broke down in a fit of tears the moment she got into her taxi.