In some ways, life was really good for him and in others, it was complicated. Jae knew that was just a part of how things went, there were good days and bad days. He and Han had been doing everything they could to make what they had work and it was, they were there for one another through the good and the bad times. They worked through Han’s problem with painting and now he was back to making works of art on a daily basis again, they spent the evenings watching movies and chatting about their day, Jae spent more time at Han’s home than he did at his dorm now and in so many ways he was blissfully happy.

But ever since that day when Jae had come home early only to find out that Han had met someone new, things were different. That wasn’t him being some jealous boyfriend because the star was convinced the male he met was his twin brother. But he could tell whoever this guy was leaving had definitely hurt Han more than he let on. The Celestial was out of the house all the time, searching areas he thought he might be able to find Sunmin and Jae had offered to help too, even though he’d never seen this guy or had any proof he existed. But it was starting to exhaust him, looking for someone who was essentially a ghost and knowing Han wouldn’t rest properly until he found his answers.

So Jae had called Daehuyn and asked to meet, really he just needed someone to talk to that might understand his frustrations, plus Dae was master at finding people who didn’t want to be found so he figured the elder male might have some suggestions. There was a small cafe on the other side of town which he usually met the Niveis whenever he wanted to chat, they whiled away hours there usually and the owner never seemed to mind too much because they were always ordering more coffee. It didn’t take too long for Jae to get to the subway station and make his way over there. He didn’t explain to Dae what he wanted to talk about over the phone because it was a lot but he was glad when the other male agreed to meet him.

Heading up the stairs of the exit station he swiped his pass before heading out onto the streets, entering the little cafe the two of them had claimed as their place and waving hello to the owner before asking for the usual. Iced Americano for Dae and Latte with caramel syrup for him. He took a seat at the table before pulling the painting Han had painted of Sunmin and placing it face up. He figured he may as well ask around if anyone had seen him around this part of the city but after doing a lap of the cafe he was left with the usual story. Nothing. He settled himself back in his seat just in time for a familiar white-haired male to walk through the door, Jae waved slightly to his friend before sliding his coffee over the table towards him with a smile "Feels like a long time since we last got coffee" he mused gently as he waited for Dae to get settled. 

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He shook his head and raised both his hands up as if to say good for you but that’s not me “Not me, nobody will find out I did anything embarrassing because unlike most people, I erase my trace” he winked, Dae made sure people only knew what he wanted them to know. There’s no reason they should know more. “Sure…” he teased playfully “Are you just saying that because you’re afraid I might stumble across your ‘old’ teensy self doing things you probably shouldn’t? You know I’m not beyond digging things up.” If you bury them, he’s bound to find out one way or another.

“We can do it together if you want, I mean I’d tell you to let Han do it with you because that bunny will probably stomp over our way and ask why the fuck am I doing things with his boyfriend but… you probably need a friend more than you need a boyfriend to do that.” The niveis understood that Jae didn’t want to expose the imperfect side of him to the celestial even if there was no need for him to worry. “You know Han won’t judge you for it right…? You understand that you can tell him things that bothers you… I’m sure he would be more than happy to help you.” He rubbed his shoulder and shook his head “You’re not damaged… believe me, if you’re really irreparable… you’d know.”

He scoffed when Jae tried to defend himself because that was so Jaesung Moon of him to do that. “Sure, whatever you say dhampy, if it makes you feel better.” He puffed his chest as if he was trying to strike a superhero style and chuckled “Yeah I’d make a pretty badass zombie slayer. I mean would it be any different from the me right now? I’m already a bounty hunter so…” Dead or alive, humans tend to be the same. Nothing really changes much, other than the whole I give you life so you may live part.

When Jae returned from his phone call, he raised his eyebrow and cleared his throat “Did lover boy say no? Or… you managed to convince him I won’t be stealing you away permanently? Not that I can promise that you won’t voluntarily do that because I’m pretty lovable.”

Jae chuckled softly “Well I suppose you were already old when the internet was invented” he jested, shaking his head playfully at Dae, it occurred to the young dhampir that a lot his friends probably couldn’t directly relate to the same things as him because they were from completely different eras and had such different experiences “Have you always been so…secretive?” he questioned in a soft voice, wondering if it was a result of something or just a personality trait because honestly, it could go either way.

Jae shrugged slightly “I mean the worst you might find is my search history, I was a curious kid you know” he chuckled softly and pressed his lips together, so many memories he had of his childhood, on the computer late at night, pretending like he was asleep when his parents came to check on him. Jae looked up to Dae’s quiet strength a lot, behind the grumpy facade was someone just trying to figure things out and cope with the crazy world around him. “I know Han would never judge me but…I still wanna be my best self around him you know…he’s been through so much, I don’t wanna burden him with my baggage too” he bit his lip softly, he wanted to protect the star as much as possible.

Jae bit his lip and offered a small smile to Dae in return for his comforting words “Maybe…” he looked at the floor for a moment and then nodded his head “I’ve felt a lot of pressure all my life to be the perfect person…the perfect son…but I’m never going to measure up to that” he needed to accept it and figure out what his own version of perfect was, he knew that much. “Only the zombies would be dumber but more relentless…” he commented and nodded “They won’t run, they’ll just keep coming” it was a scary thought to be honest, Jae didn’t like the idea of feeling like he would have to either run or fight constantly, it seemed exhausting.

Jae laughed and shrugged “Well he applied the guilt trip a little but he understands” he responded and smiled as he sat down opposite Dae with his legs crossed “I just told Han he’s been looking for an excuse to use all his special incense and have a spa night and now is his chance and he came around” Jae tended to get a headache from the strong scents and so Han tended to wait until he was out to use them. “Besides, if I tried to go for you I think Yeon might cut me” he commented softly.

When Jae jested about his age, the niveis gave him a playful scowl and proceeded to roll his eyes “You need to stop picking on the age card, dhampy, it’s so outdated.” But then again, compared to the niveis, Jae is very young. He is young in general even when you would compare him to everyone else. When asked if he has always been secretive, Dae shrugged “It’s in my nature to be mysterious. I don’t like to disclose things in general. You know my line of work.”

Even as an individual separated from the work he does right now, Daehyun lived a life in seclusion. He raised his eyebrow and scoffed “Your search history? You know people who always worry about that often ends up having loads of porn in them. Are you one of them, Jae?” He was having fun teasing the dhampir because he knows it was the opposite for the other male. He was too innocent. Or perhaps he could surprise him after all.

“Everyone wants to be their best version in front of the people they care most… it’s natural.” It doesn’t necessarily mean that some people don’t exaggerate. “You will not burden him. He loves you, you love him. Neither of you would be a burden for each other.” Dae could relate to Jae’s insecurity, all his life, despite being alone, the niveis has always wondered if he was enough. Was he enough for Mirae? For Freyja? For Yeon…? He decided not to comment further on it because he could feel his own resolve crumbling.

Dae acts like he doesn’t care but deep down, he does. A lot. “Ugh a relentless and dumb zombie, what a nightmare. I’ll just offer myself to them.” It sounded a much easier life as a zombie than to run forever. The blond chuckled in response to his remark on how the valkyr might actually cut him if he ever shoot his shot “I mean… I kinda got myself a possessive one didn’t I?” The question is, did he deserve him? “Do you think… he accepts me for who I am?”

Jae gave him a pointed look, almost tempted to say ‘much like you’ in response to his sass but he decided to bite his tongue and let it go this time. He raised his brows when Dae said it was in his nature to be mysterious “Being mysterious sounds fun but…doesn’t it get lonely? Don’t you wish there was someone who just…gets you?” perhaps Dae was just used to being distant but the dhampir couldn’t imagine not sharing everything about himself with those he was closest to.

He laughed when Dae asked him if he searched for a lot of porn shaking his head slightly “I highly doubt mine even comes to half of what you total up” Dae and Yeon were both into plenty of that sort of stuff “My search history would just be more embarrassing, like how to use a washing machine…cause I have no clue how to do anything half the time…” there was plenty more.

Jae pressed his lips together and nodded “No one wants to be a burden on others either…” he hated the idea of causing trouble to those he cared about most, he wanted to make their lives better…not more difficult. He rolled over on his side and sighed softly, he knew he was being ridiculous in the grand scheme of things, Han would be mad if he found out there were things he didn’t tell him or want him to know.

Jae giggled softly “You got yourself a crazy man” he commented softly. It was hard to define Yeon being he was just so much himself that it was hard to see him in any single box, such an interesting person to know. He paused for a moment at Dae’s question though, sending the slight vulnerability in his tone “I think…I’ve never seen two people who are further apart…but somehow always pull one another in…” he commented and pursed his lips “He accepts you…he’s never asked you to be anyone else but you, right?”

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