Aurazin

Turning Page (Open to Arcadia and Adriel)

It had been a long time since Arcadia had become an Aurazin. She preferred to refer to it like that than to think of it as her death, that gave it negative connotations and became a painful memory she would rather forget. Still, memories of what happened that night never left her, remembering how she was waiting for Ce so that they could finally leave and be together and then feeling the pain in her next. She didn't know what hurt more, the process of dying and feeling the life drain out of her or knowing she was going to leave the person she loved most and that would break her heart into so many pieces. 

At first, she had been angry, because it seemed like the most natural response to waking up in another realm after her soul got entirely lost. She was confused and upset, she remembered the male's voice and how he sounded sincere when he said he was sorry. It had made her curious. When she was finally able to process the reality of her death, she had become an empath, heading out into the world and helping those around here. But she hadn't been able to resist peering into the life she left behind. She was curious she supposed, she wanted to make sure those she left behind were going to be okay without her.

But she was also curious about the valkyr who killed her. She knew she shouldn't but she had managed to find his name. He was blond, with bright expressive blue eyes and his life was a mess. It didn't take her long to find out he was new to being a valkyr and he didn't have it under control. The guilt of those he had hurt was weighing on him hard. It was hard to be angry with her killer when they showed such remorse and grief. He seemed to be doing everything he could to hold things together but how could you hold things together when that happened. 

She'd known he was in Evermore for a while now. He seemed to have turned his life around, gotten his bloodlust under control, he had friends and people he cared about. She knew it was better not to see him but now she was here and people couldn't tell her that she wasn't allowed. Maybe, just maybe, she wanted to meet him. She knew from watching him before that he would walk around the park in the evenings and every day, without fail he would come to the fountain and stop there a while. So while it was incredibly bad of her and she knew she shouldn't, she wanted one conversation with him. To understand. And then she would take his memories away of it all and he would be free of the guilt he had gone through. 

So here she was, sitting on the edge of the stone which surrounded the fountain and waiting for him to show up, rehearsing what she was going to say her head even though she suspected she'd forget it the  moment he came into view.

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ValkyrPermalink Reply by ✓ Jihoon Lim on October 7, 2020 at 19:05

Adriel wasn't sure what else was there for him in the eternal city. But he decided to stay here for a few more months after realizing that he actually enjoyed the city. When he first came here, he remembered he had bumped and met Ophelia, someone he never thought he would ever get the chance of seeing again, much less speak to. Of course, he didn't expect her to be civil to him, after all… he left her in the first place, did he not? He understood why she resented him and was upset to see him there, while she didn't let it show too much, once upon a time ago the Valkyr loved her too, and honestly speaking? He still does. He never quite forgot about the Wayfinder. Despite the complications they had in the past, what with him being a Valkyr and her a Celestial, it was hard for him to go through things. That never stopped them though. It didn't hinder his attempts to make her special, or at least he would like to think he made her happy for a while. Even if it was shorter than he wanted it to be.

 Eventually, she forgave him and agreed to be friends. That was more than enough for him. He still needed to win her trust back and while it would be increasingly hard, Adriel didn't want to give up. But speaking of people he hasn't been able to forget, there was another female that has been living in his head rent free; the blonde he accidentally killed a while after he came back as a Valkyr. He knew he lost control and that shouldn't be an excuse but he tried to trace back to where her grave would be, though it was an unsuccessful attempt. Even after all these years, the male couldn't forgive himself for hurting an innocent woman like that. He could've at least offered her a proper burial instead of panicking and running away. But he didn't and he regretted every moment of contempt he had back then. He didn't know why he was thinking about the said woman while he was strolling around the park, but he did and the memories rushing back was making him tremble. 

"I didn't mean to…" he mumbled to himself, hand clutching against his sleeves firmly as he closed his eyes to compose himself. It was easier said than done. She was also the reason he refused to drink from anyone directly, fearing the same would happen. What if he lost control? He heard stories from Cecilia, who didn't particularly like him that much due to the trouble he seemed to stir which was also out of his hands, but he could recall her telling him that she fell into the state of bloodlust. If she could succumb to it, what about him? Could he even fight it? It was too much of a risk. He breathed heavily and made his way to the nearby fountain in the middle of the park, it was where he would be staring at his own reflection in the clear water, just reminiscing the past. 

 It was the same place he ventured to every day, where he would lament on his past mistakes. Today was the same. What he didn't expect was company, though it wasn't just an ordinary company. That face, it was too significant for him not to remember. He almost staggered on his steps because he thought he was hallucinating. "You're not real…" he mumbled and shook his head before moving nearby, he was close but refused to look at her, thinking he was just seeing things. "Ghosts… don't exist…" though it does seem like he was trying to convince himself. 


AurazinPermalink Reply by ✓ Arcadia Cassidy Violet on October 8, 2020 at 15:41

In hindsight, this was probably a really bad idea, how was someone supposed to react to something like this? The supernatural world was complicated sure but more people didn’t think ti was crazy enough to bring someone back centuries after their death. Cassie had died that night when she had been attacked in the street and person she became since then was different, that was how she saw it. While she missed the life she had, she accepted a long time ago it had to be the past. So why did she keep feeling this pull to those from the past, those she was supposed to leave in peace.

So of course his natural response to seeing her was to stagger back in shock, who wouldn’t react like that right? Though the fact he recognized her face and seemed by shocked by it told her a lot about the fact he was remorseful for what happened. “On the contrary, I am actually quite real” she spoke in a soft voice. She noticed the way he wasn’t even looking at her and she wondered if she would be able to get further than 2 minutes before he needed his memories wiped because he had completely freaked out. “Please don’t panic, I’m not here to hurt you or anything” she spoke in a slightly sad voice, how did she reach him?

“Your name is Adriel right?” didn’t help her stalking case but she deserved to know a little about the person who had taken her life and watching him had given her a certain sense of peace. Yes her death had been tragic and she was angry about everything it took from her, but she knew what he did was never malicious or purposeful. He had probably suffered far worse than she had in the long run.


ValkyrPermalink Reply by ✓ Jihoon Lim on October 24, 2020 at 19:45

No, he didn't think ghosts existed. Or at least, not in how the way works. Spirits he could probably believe in because necromancy literally revolves around that, not to mention ancestral planes for diviners. But ghosts? Haunting him of all people? That couldn't be real. He hasn't done anything wrong in a really long while so he couldn't even think of who might be haunting him. Except that girl he accidentally killed when he was a newborn Valkyr. That was a millennium ago. So imagine his surprise when he saw that face, that girl standing nearby. Adriel really thought he was hallucinating, "This is the lack of sleep talking to me… yeah Adriel you should've stopped taking all nighters." Which was not even possible considering he's a Valkyr, a few all nighters wouldn't faze him that much. He's been through worst. 

When she said she's real, the blond blinked a few times before widening his eyes, honestly he was tempted to touch her but didn't think that eas appropriate so he pinched himself to be sure this wasn't a dream. "You can't be…" One, she was dead. He killed her. He was there. Two, ghosts don't exist. They can't be. He was halfway through the part where he would start hyperventilating, until she told him not to panic. "It's… hard not to panic when the person you killed a thousand years ago is here… in the flesh. Standing right in front of you." But he did respect her to calm down as asked. "Wait, others can see you right? I'm not the only one seeing this? People won't think I'm crazy for talking to air or something?" He had to be sure. 

Hearing her speak his name made him stumble a bit once again, "How- how do you know my name?" Was there an archive in the other world or something? He was tempted to ask if he wasn't sure that would make an idiot out of himself. "Yes… yes I'm Adriel. And you're Cassie…" After he killed her, he tried to find out a little bit on who was the poor soul he killed that night and managed to find out about her. Not much, but a name was there. "How are you here…"


AurazinPermalink Reply by ✓ Arcadia Cassidy Violet on October 25, 2020 at 11:21

Now that this particular moment was here she was panicking a little, she’d thought about the things she wanted to say to the person who took away her future but the way she felt about it had changed with time. There had been a time when she was angry with him and even wanted him to pay for what he did but the longer she watched over him the more she realized how truly remorseful he was for what he did. He never killed another person again, he managed to get his bloodlust under control, he found love for a while, too. She had begun to understand who he was and what he wanted from the world and how none of this was ever what he had chosen for himself, she was sure a part of him resented himself for the things he had done.

“I am” she commented and gave him a few moments to gather his thoughts and reactions to what he was seeing, she understood it was a lot to handle, she would have been shocked and even terrified in his position but she was telling the truth when she said he had nothing to fear when it came to her. “I know...I didn’t mean to spring it on you but it’s hardly like I could show up anywhere else and just talk to you...god I’ve wanted to talk to you for so long” she commented in a soft, almost rambly voice and then nodded when he asked if other people were able to see her. Well, the easiest way to prove that was to show him right? A man with their dog walked by and Arcadia moved over to wave to them before asking if she could pet his dog. When he said it was okay she smiled and leaned down to give the dog a few pats before thanking him for stopping “Believe me now?” she asked in a curious voice.

She pursed her lips wondering if she said too much when he reacted to her saying his name “I...I wanted to know more about you...I wanted to understand why” she commented in a soft voice and when he said he knew her name she bit her lip gently, so he did remember her then and he had even found out who she was “That...was my name” she commented in a soft voice “After I died they suggested I change it...start anew so...please call me Arcadia...or Cadia if you prefer it short” being called Cassie was definitely a negative trigger for her, she would admit. She took a long breath when he asked how she was here “That...is a very long story” she spoke softly “I shouldn’t really be here...talking to you...it’s against the rules of my kind to reach out like this” and yet here she was breaking the rules as usual.


ValkyrPermalink Reply by ✓ Jihoon Lim on November 11, 2020 at 18:02

The first thing he thought of when he saw that familiar face he never thought he would ever see again was I am too tired, I'm now hallucinating. But that's not it. In all his life, he has been consistent with his workload and Adriel was almost never exhausted physically nor mentally because he could calculate the probabilities of drowning in them before actually doing them. But what else could be the answer to the person standing right in front of him? Or sitting. Whatever works. She's not real, he told himself but everything about her proved him wrong. She is real and she is there to talk to him. He wasn't sure if he should feel afraid or the opposite because what if her ghost is haunting him? "You have?" he raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner as soon as he heard those words come out of her, she said she has been wanting to talk to him for so long. 

What does that mean? Does that mean she has been walking and roaming the earth this entire time? For a whole millennium? "H-have you been wanting to talk to me since… a thousand years ago?" His voice was slow, but surprisingly calm despite his freaked out self. Talk coherently and understand what she wants to tell him, he could do that. She proved to him once again that she is indeed real after she petted the dog from a random passerby. "Yeah… I believe you… or I'm just going crazy but I'm leaning towards the former." And of course… she knew his name. If she said she has been wanting to talk to him all this while, she must know that at the very least. Adriel wondered what else she knew about him. 

When she said she wanted to understand why, Adriel dropped his gaze to his lap, as if he was embarrassed to even look at her in the eye, because in all honesty he is. This is the poor innocent woman he killed. How could he forget about that? "Arcadia… if it's against the rules to be talking to me right now, why are you doing it? Do you… wish to know why I did what I did? If so, I can explain it to you that it was completely accidental- I didn't even know what I was doing until afterwards…" he was panicking a bit as he rambled on, he knew he wasn't in the place to plead not guilty but he wanted her to know that he didn't do it over malicious intent. "I know you can never excuse me for doing such a crime like that… but I promise you I never intended to do that…" 


AurazinPermalink Reply by ✓ Arcadia Cassidy Violet on November 11, 2020 at 21:29

She had to admit, this wasn’t exactly how she pictured this would go but then how could you really expect someone to react when they saw someone they killed over 1000 years ago. He must have carried so much guilt and concern for her “Yes” she answered his question, nodding her head slightly “I mean at first I was angry and just...wanted you to feel the pain that I felt that night” she wasn’t a perfect person who could just forgive what happened after all. She was strong but no one was that strong. 

She laughed softly when he said he was either going crazy of she was real “I’m not alive” she spoke softly, she didn’t want to delude him into thinking that she had miraculously managed to survive what happened that day. “But I guess you could say I’m not fully dead either...they call it being stuck between worlds, when you die in a tragic way that your mind doesn’t know how to resolve” she wasn’t trying to be harsh or make him feel guilty, she was just trying to explain how this was all possible so he didn’t think it was some part of his mind trying to torture him for what happened. Honestly, she had seen him torture himself enough over the years, that was the reason she wanted to know him.

She didn’t come to close to him and sat patiently as she watched him process his emotions “Because I’m curious...I may not live on earth but the temptation to search you down and figure out...who you were...it was too much” that was against the rules too but she had gotten good at finding reasons to be in the same area so that she could check on them. “Sounds totally stalkery I know but...I guess you could say I was curious...I wanted to know if you regretted it” when he confessed it was an accident she nodded her head slowly. She had figured that much out by now, he seemed to be a good person, she could see that the more she watched him “You managed to get your bloodlust under control?” her expression looked hopefully. 


ValkyrPermalink Reply by ✓ Jihoon Lim on December 29, 2020 at 6:59

When she told him she wanted him to feel the pain she did, Adriel couldn't blame her, had he been in the same shoes she was in, he would wish the same honestly. But despite all that, she clearly forgave him. For some reason. The blond was going with the fact that she is a genuinely nice person with an equally kind heart who decided the resentment she harbored this lofn wasn't worth her time. "You had every right to be angry, I don't blame you. I would do the same." Would he be able to forgive someone who killed him? Even now? He wasn't sure. At first, he couldn't understand what she meant by that. She wasn't alive? Then how could she explain what was currently happening right now? He's seeing her and obviously others do too. Or was she like him? But she didn't look the part either. He would know how to recognize a Valkyr after a while, he's sure of that. And she did not look like one. 

Stuck between worlds, was that even possible? He could almost hear the gears working in his head right now, trying to understand the basis she was explaining to him about. Now that he thought about it, he came back from the dead. Not as a human, obviously, as something different entirely. But still, he came back from the dead. The world is filled with different supernaturals from their own origins too, what's weird anymore? Would he really find this revelation on Arcadia weird? "That sounds… painful" dying but knowing you couldn't move onto the next chapter because you were wronged. That's how she died, he reminded himself. She died and she shouldn't have gone through that at such a young age. Not by his hands. He couldn't help but chuckle softly when she said it sounded like she stalked him, "I'll let it pass" he teased, he could use something light-hearted after the enar heart attack today. 

He might not deserve this closure but he's grateful to receive it. It's not something most people get, after all. When she asked if he managed to get his bloodlust under control, he nodded gently, "It wasn't easy but I wasn't as bad as others. I managed to keep myself to a diet on my own, not really having anyone to mentor me since my maker kind of… disappeared. I found out that there was a system and sought out the ones on the higher chain. I found them and they taught me how to keep a low profiled life. I've been doing that ever since" he decided to leave out the part where he also went through a pretty rough time at some point in his extended life because it didn't fit the context anyway. Arcadia didn't need to know about his personal troubles. "I didn't dare to hurt another living being after you… accidentally or purposely…" he mumbled silently, it was almost inaudible had it not been to her sitting close to him. "What are you doing now? If you don't live on earth then how are you able to be here?"


AurazinPermalink Reply by ✓ Arcadia Cassidy Violet on December 29, 2020 at 14:14

She nodded a few times “I guess I had a few emotions...I was sad because of everything I lost and I was angry because it seemed unfair that my life had to end” but in time she had come to accept that some people were just supposed to have shorter lives than others and fate was the one to decide that. She could see the confused expression on his face when she explained how she was here but she shouldn’t be and that she had been caught between worlds “It’s actually more peaceful than you’d think...nothing hurts...everything is just quiet” but she had been lost and in the end, someone had to come find her and drag her out of the darkness.

She pressed her lips together, she didn’t want to sugar coat what happened and lie to him though “It was lonely though, all I really had to hold onto were the memories of the life I had before I died” she nodded slightly, mostly she was replaying the precious moments she shared with Ce which made her miss her more than anything. She laughed a little when he said he would let her stalkerish behavior pass “I guess you could say I was curious...they tell us we’re supposed to move on from our old life and move into our new role but...I honestly haven’t met a single person like me who was able to do that” she shook her head sadly.

When he nodded she let out a relieved breath, honestly she hoped that he was able to turn everything around and get it under control because she felt like 2 people’s lives didn’t need to be entirely ruined by his mistake “It makes me sad that the worst had to happen to help you find your way...you must have tortured yourself” she commented in a soft voice. Maybe she should be the one upset for herself but she was long past that and she was an empath, her entire being existed to find empathy in others. “Have you….forgiven yourself?” she asked in a soft voice, it was a complex thing to consider. Before now he couldn’t have even known she managed to survive either, or rather than she didn’t just cease to exist anyway.

His question made her bite her tongue “We’re allowed to temporarily visit the earth...our job is to bring people comfort and to guide them a little” though you weren’t supposed to do so with people who knew you from your previous life “Recently something happened and those of us who were here visiting...couldn’t return” she nodded slightly “So here I am” she spoke softly.


ValkyrPermalink Reply by ✓ Jihoon Lim on January 12, 2021 at 17:17

He hesitated for a moment but eventually found the courage to say it out loud, he can't keep hiding it to himself, he had the chance to atone and apologize for his sins with the person he committed the crime towards, shouldn't he take it? It won't bring her back… well, she is still there, somewhat. But still, he would want to make it better. "You didn't deserve that, no" he shook his head, nobody deserved to die so young and pitiful like that. "But… doesn't that make it more agonising? When it's too quiet?" She didn't seem like she was holding any revenge against him which he supposed he was grateful to know, but was death really that peaceful? He dropped his gaze and fiddled with his hands when she mentioned it was incredibly lonely, he couldn't imagine how frustrating it would be to spend your time alone in the dark, not knowing what your fate would be. "Were you scared?" 

Hearing that she was told to move on made him feel guilty, as if there was another extra layer of ropes constraining him. It was almost suffocating. And if he felt like that, he couldn't imagine what she felt when she's the victim in question. "What… was your new role?" If she is here today then she must be doing something, perhaps in service to whatever it was? The supernatural world is wide and vast, nobody really knows the extent of it. Much less other realms. He chuckled bitterly because he did torture himself and after that, he remembered having to move here and there, even having to keep living his life on the run after he was framed for a huge crime that he couldn't possibly clear up just yet due to the incriminating evidence against him. "I think I've lived more than I have… I tried to give up every once in a while but then I remembered I didn't have that right. You died and I didn't even atone then, how could I even think of fleeing this world?" He's died once, he shouldn't waste his life as Valkyr either. 

When asked if he has forgiven himself, Adriel lifted his gaze to meet hers and sighed, "I don't know honestly. I'm not as bad as I used to be… I am able to cope better but, it's not entirely gone. It's still lurking in here…" he pointed to his chest and pursed his lips lightly, even with her sitting next to him, he wasn't sure if he could ever move past it. "That's ironic… because aren't you comforting your murderer right now" he had a momentary chuckle and clasped his hands together, he could feel his palms growing sweaty. He's nervous. "Did you have anyone from your past that is still alive? I mean… probably not, it's been a thousand years, right?"


AurazinPermalink Reply by ✓ Arcadia Cassidy Violet on January 12, 2021 at 21:07

“No one deserves that” she echoed in a soft voice, he recognized that what happened was a tragedy and that was a good start to understanding. She had always suspected that what happened was an accident because of the way he apologized for it but it was comforting to hear him say it “I’ve always liked the quiet...helps me think” she commented softly in response to his words about things being too quiet. She pressed her lips together and nodded a little when he asked if she was scared “It’s...scary not knowing what’s going to happen next” she nodded “But it didn’t stay like that forever” she may have been lost but she then became found.

She bit her lip wondering how much she should say about her kind but eventually decided it was best to tell the truth, she’d already come this far so lying about what she was is pointless “They call it aurazin...you could say we’re guides of lost souls” she nodded her head “Take care of people who need it” she licked her lips and smiled, it was a good purpose in the end, even if it wasn’t what she would have chose initially. She nodded slightly, she could respect his choice to keep fighting, even if he was hurt he had managed to keep fighting on “Nothing good ever comes from a premature death” she spoke softly and nodded.

She shifted on the spot and then smiled gently when he spoke about being able to cope better “Life is so complicated and messy even for humans...when you add the supernatural to everything it just becomes impossible...valkyr are supposed to hunt humans, it’s a wonder anyone managed to fight that urge” it was such a difficult position to be backed into and yet time and time again she had watched them fight for their humanity and their morals, it was somewhat beautiful, in a sad way. She laughed when he pointed out the irony of their situation “I guess I am...though I would drop the charges to a manslaughter” she joked and gave him an encouraging smile, trying to assure him she was okay. His question made her suck in a breath though and she sighed “There’s one person...though it’s better I don’t see her...it’s complicated” she huffed softly.


ValkyrPermalink Reply by ✓ Jihoon Lim on January 17, 2021 at 19:24

He stared at her for a brief moment as if he was still trying to be sure that the girl sitting next to him is an actual person and he wasn't hallucinating. It was easier said than done when you could clearly remember what you did to her. While the details were blurry since he wasn't even in his right mind that time, he still remembered holding her corpse. "Me too… it's very calming. But not too quiet… when it's too quiet up to a point where I can't even hear a cricket or the leaves rustling… I sense imminent danger then." It always happens that way to him. His Valkyr senses meant he could hear practically anything so there shouldn't be a moment where it's deathly quiet or else there must be something wrong. "How long were you there… alone? Did you know how long you spent your time there until you were able to go somewhere else?" 

From the way she told him, she met someone and didn't stay in that cold place any longer. He just wondered if she had to stay there for long. This was a part of him going through a closure. "Guides of lost souls? What do you mean by… lost souls?" He had a thought of what it may mean but definitions differ everyday so hearing it from her might be better. "Take care of people who need it… like a guardian angel?" His ears turned slightly red upon uttering those words because honestly, it sounded absurd. Guardian angels… do they really exist? Adriel was glad he kept on fighting to stay alive until today, or else he wouldn't have met Ophelia. And he wouldn't have met Arcadia either and god knows he would still blame himself until the end. 

"It wasn't easy to fight your primal instincts, especially when you need blood to survive. It was quite a hard process… even harder for those who struggled with bloodlust after descending down to the temptation. Thankfully, I didn't go that far." Perhaps that was why he kept to himself too rather than having many friends. He smiled softly when she joked, saying she would drop the charges to a lower offense, "Her… I imagine she's an immortal considering how long it has been. You should go and see her… you were able to see me, someone that special to you should be given the chance to see you again. She must've been devastated by your death…" he fiddled with his fingers absentmindedly and pursed his lips lightly, "If you don't mind me asking… what's her name?"


AurazinPermalink Reply by ✓ Arcadia Cassidy Violet on January 18, 2021 at 21:44

She thought it would be haunting to look at his face like this after knowing what he did to her but it honestly didn’t feel like that at all, she’d had time to heal and this wasn’t the first time she had seen him. It was the first time they had talked though and his voice definitely reminded her of the last words she heard in those moments “I never really felt like I had anything to fear in the quiet, nor in the world really...I guess you could say before everything happened I was pretty fearless” she shrugged slightly “I don’t know..could have been days could have been weeks...it was all a blur...it didn’t feel like time was a thing anymore” she pursed her lips.

“But then someone found me floating in the nether and they came to save me” she nodded, she was so glad just to see any light at all at that point “You can take it literally...like the state I was in after I died, unable to quite process what happened to me and so I got stuck in limbo..or you could take it more metaphorically...people here on earth who feel broken...shattered...people searching for comfort” both were equally important tasks to perform. She laughed when he asked if they were like guardian angels “I guess you could see it like that, though we call ourselves aurazin” she spoke softly as she watched him with a curious expression, he definitely had a lot of questions but who could blame him.

“In my years I have seen countless valkyr fight with their bloodlust and I’m sad to say a great proportion of them lost” she nodded sadly, it was hard to fight something so incredibly ingrained into what you had become but those with strong enough wills managed it, like Adriel and Ce did in time. “She is” she spoke softly when he asked if the person she was referring to was immortal and then she bit her lip when he said she should go to her “It’s not a simple as that...while I’m allowed to be here now, there’s going to be a time when I’m going to need to go back and when I do...I can’t let anyone remember I was here” one of the saddest parts of being what she was was keeping detached. She went quiet for a moment when he asked her name, sucking in a breath and giving a small smile “Cecilia” she spoke, nodding to affirm.

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