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CelestialPermalink Reply by ✓ Hanseol Park on May 23, 2019 at 18:02

Hanseol is oblivious and naive at times, but he's nowhere near dense. He knew Jae would notice every movement he made, and how significant it was to every tick the celestial produced, up from tapping his feet on the floorboards, and finally him nibbling on his bottom lip. The way his teeth was rubbing its rather pointy canines against his slightly chapped lips was honestly worrisome because one try eas all that it took for him to bleed himself. Minor injury,  but still an injury nonetheless. Jae's presence really does intimidate him, in a good way? Is that even a thing? “I think it looks pretty. I mean, I miss the bright colors you pulled off previously but it's all about trying out new things, right? The mousy dark color doesn't disappoint either. Not that you can ever think about disappointing anyone when you look like this” And how does he look exactly? “These eyes, this nose, these plump cheeks and beautiful lips, how can anyone ever say you couldn't pull anything off?” He didn't miss the chance to boop his nose playfully as he was describing the dhampir earlier.

Hearing that they're matching, Han brought his hand up to his messy locks and grinned sheepishly. “I guess you're right. We do match.” He's always been so giddy when it comes to couple things such as matching outfits and whatnot, so this really did remind him of the time where he would persuade the dhampir to get matching pajamas for some reason. No idea why he picked pajamas, it's just something that came across his head randomly when he was busy trying to search for something to match. “I'm glad you were there for me. I didn't know what would've happened if you didn't find me. It would be a disaster, probably. Since I'm a reckless guy… can't fathom the thought of me headlining the cover page the next day ‘drunk person falling to his death after reportedly tripping', sounds like an awful way to go” not exactly a casual topic for him. If at first he was mainly worried what happened last night, now all he could think is making sure he stays focused and steer clear from other paths that would deceive him. He's on the road of winning this guy back and nobody and nothing is going to stop him. Not if he has a say in it.

Any obstacles or hurdles will be faced head-on the same way he would push his pressing matters. “I don't like waking up to this… it sucks” no one wants to wake up to a hangover, Han. “Though I am a bit torn. I'm happy you're here to help me get through this ugh process, but at the same time, I'm just embarrassed that you have to see me in this state” upon saying those words, a reddish tint made its way up to his cheeks. As if that was not enough to make him blush, the words that came after was. He was glowing? Of course, he was. Why is this surprising to him? “Oh wow… I totally forgot us stars glowing. I managed to keep a control over it a while ago, I probably didn't have s switch to keep on anymore so it wasn't enabled” that's one way to put it. “Was I glowing that much? How bright was I?” Hey, he wanted to know too. The thought of him glowing like a Christmas ornament does make things funnier, even for him. “I'm sorry for worrying you, I should've never done that. Forgive my… impetuous thinking” the fact that he still had a blush resting on both his cheeks mad either certain that this wasn't an empty apology, Hanseol is really genuine on it since he's ashamed, resulting that reddish hue. He wondered what Jae thought of him during that entire time. Did he shook his head as he clicked his tongue in annoyance upon finding him?

The same way Jae loved the words he said, that was it for Han, who ends up being in awe as he gawked at the dhampir. Their hands molded together perfectly, it feels so right to hold Jae's hands and never let go. Nobody would blame him if he said he's a perfectionist, and that shaped him up, but he knew that was far from it. All that pain flashed inside the half-valkyr's dark hues caused him to be disheartened. This wasn't supposed to happen to him, it wasn't what he intended at all. He hated that he was hurting Jae. “I still want to be that guy who makes you a better person, I’m still that guy, Jae...” he exclaimed, his voice reducing itself into a whimper as soon as the second part of his sentence came to be, while staring deep into his dark hues until he eventually had to avert his gaze elsewhere because the stuff the dhampir said afterward struck him where it hurts the most. It didn’t hurt, but it was definitely close to home. I fell for him too. Those words alone, had lingered around longer than he originally anticipated. When he heard about the sleeping pills, his eyes immediately shot up and he was sure Jae could see the fear that nestles in between them. Did he revealed that too, last night?

But why does it feel like the dhampir had already known about this before then? Was it so noticeable? What had he done? And just like that, a huge wave of embarrassment washes over him and it was not drying out any time soon. Soaked from head to toe, down to below, Hanseol Park was utterly a mess now. He knew he promised to tell him the truth for that was the only way they were ever going to get past this stage, so they could slowly mend the dent in their relationship and return stronger than ever. He will have to cast aside his worries and fear if he wants to return to Jae's embrace. "I-" he desperately wanted to do this. For both of them, but why is it so hard for the words to come out? Why was he holding himself back? "I need some time, don't worry, I just need a few minutes… that's all" the only reason why he requested for the time extension was due to the fact that his chest is tightening and all air was restricted, the same steps he recognized to be ones that would lead to his occasional panic attacks. Thinking about it alone was already bad enough for him. It's not the truth that scares him, it's more to him knowing it's going to take a long stride to get back to the road of recovery for this. He had suspected it awhile ago that he may have contracted an addiction towards it but never made a fuss because he still wanted to believe it was all mind games and paranoia.

He's still there for him, he reminded. Jae's still going to be there no matter what happens, even amidst their breakup, he's still here caring for him when he didn't have to. There was no obligations tying him to the ground yet the half-valkyr rushed to his aid the first thing he picked up that call last night. That was when Hanseol knew they were never going to be able to let go of each other. Maybe they say they could, under false pretenses, perhaps. But their hearts would always remain true to each other and that was what would be the fueling factor. What hurts more was knowing Jae's words were true, every single word of it held that truth he so desperately wished to conceal from himself due to fear. Han was so wrapped around his own head that he didn't stop to think what this would mean to Jae, the one he's supposed to confide in. Now that he's looked through things, there were some parts where even Yeon knew about but not him. He's been such an awful boyfriend all this time.

Throwing himself into an embrace, locking his arms tight around the dhampir, he sobbed quietly while burying his face in his face, muttering a stringent of apologies. "I've been an awful boyfriend all this time and you stood with me nonetheless… what did I do to deserve you? You deserve the world… someone who could make you happy and you got me instead, a broken mess who refuses to acknowledge he's mangled up." There it is, the ultimate truth that Hanseol didn't want to accept. He's broken, he's torn, he's battered. He knows that yet he still continued to delude himself. "It feels a lot more pathetic that someone else had to point this out" he chuckled bitterly but smiled regardlessly, his eyes softened at the sight of the other male being so close to him. "But I'm glad it's you. If anyone is going to do that, I would only wish for them to be you and no one else. God knows if I will actually listen to others" Bringing one hand up to caress his structured face, Han only continued to gaze lovingly. This is the guy he chose to give everything up for, if he couldn't give him the truth, then what's the point?

"You're cute when you're surprised. That crinkle you have when you frown in confusion, trying to make out what's happening. It reminds me so much of Yeontan when he's being tricked. The way your lips would curl up when you're trying to figure out what's going on, it's beyond words" he pointed out, a much brighter smile replacing the sad one from earlier. "You and I are one and the same, aren't we? It's only fair if I pick up some of your traits" he really did miss winking playfully towards the dhampir, especially when he could see how prominent his blush would be, from up close. "I will never shut you out again. Not without telling or giving any reason. I should've known better than to do that to you, out of all people. I was afraid of many things, you're right, I never had anything permanent, before. I didn't have friends… much less a boyfriend. You were my many firsts, Jae. You are the person who made up the memories in here" pointing at his head, he spared him a reassuring smile. It felt easier to smile within his presence now. It just tugs on him naturally. "I was afraid of losing it. So to spare myself the heartache, I told myself not to care fully. But I've fallen so deep I couldn't get out of it anymore. You, I chose you. The moment I chose you, I chose to let you in, to have you be a part of my life and that's what I'm going to do. I'm sorry it's a little bit late…" he trailed timidly, hoping this would be the start of something new again.

The kiss fueled the fire inside him, coercing him into  wanting more of it but knew exactly what this meant. What's important is that he knows Jae loves him. Yes. Loves. Present tense. And Hanseol loves him. The needy desperation lacing the kiss he delivered was clear as the day, it displayed just how much the star has missed the dhampir. How much he has craved his hold on him, his touch, hell even his smile and gaze. The urge to go back on claiming his rightful place by capturing those lips again was tempting and the doe-eyed celestial had to refrain himself from doing so. Sober him is no less reckless than any other him. Upon hearing the question regarding if Yeon bit him or not, Han's eyes grew larger and he immediately shook his head and waved both his hands in defense, his entire body language was saying no. "Of course not, Jae! Blood sharing is intimate, I think everyone knows that. But since it was needed to ensure the bond between us is enacted, it had to be done. But like me, Yeon had his own perception towards biting. It's personal for him, as it is for me to share my blood, so we used a razor. It ended as soon as it started" the way he explained it to Jae was very much like how a husband was trying his best to explain to his spouse that he wasn't cheating on them.

"You were the only one I allowed to bite me. Let's not forget that I actually asked you to bite me the second time. I wanted you, no one else, Jae" how can he ever divert his attention away from Jaesung Moon? How can he spare another a glance when he has a boyfriend like him? "I know it wouldn't be easy but perhaps, in time, we can work this out" he gave a reassuring squeeze to his hand before the whole momentum crashed in and sent the celestial to the bathroom. After emptying his tummy, he fluttered his eyes closed for a while and only managed to smile thankfully at how his partner is still taking care of him. He really did live up to the part where he would love him even at his worst. The back rubs were soothing, it made him feel safe, knowing that someone is looking out for him. Accepting the toothbrush from his hold, he brushed his teeth and finished it off with a few while of rinsing his mouth with a mouthwash.

As soon as he got back to the living room, once he recognized the look and message Jae was sending him, he quickly scurried to his way, curling himself slightly as he placed his head carefully on the dhampir's lap. He always does this whenever he couldn't sleep. Jae would play with his hair and comfort him until he falls asleep. Chewing his lip as the sea of insecurity towers above him, he let out a heaved sigh before parting his lips and continue with what he had to say. "I'm sorry... I didn't want to resort to it. It was supposed to be the last method if I couldn't sleep and needed the rest desperately so I could function properly to work" they were back to the topic of his sleeping pills. He promised the truth, didn't he? "I told myself to stop taking them after our fight, but I couldn't bring myself to do that" with his head hung low, the celestial couldn't find the will and strength to face the man he loves. He's ashamed. "I thought taking some time off from work would reduce the usage needed… but it got worse. I started taking more than I actually needed and it became a rigorous cycle of never-ending routine. I couldn't stop, Jae. No, I didn't want to. I felt dependent on it, every time I tried using herbal remedies or traditional ways to heal myself so I won't need to down those pills every time I wish to sleep, my system wouldn't accept it" that was when he could feel the tears slowly making its way back. Who said his tear duct was dried up?

"At first it was supposed to be a few times thing. To help me cope with my restlessness due to being sleep-deprived. It didn't stay there, obviously. I was afraid to tell you… I didn't want you to be disappointed in me and above everything else, I didn't want you to worry. You are already stressed out with university, I can't put more burden on your shoulders when I could be offering solace instead. I'm sorry for not trusting you with this, I am." By the time he ended his sentence, he was already a crying mess and his hold on Jae's hand grew tighter.

DhampirPermalink Reply by ✓ Jaesung Moon on May 23, 2019 at 23:24

It didn’t take long for all that worrying to actually pierce the skin of the celestial’s lip and almost immediately Jae smelled the sweet scent of Hanseol’s blood in the air, damn he made it really difficult to be mad at him when everything about the star drew him in. The dhampir was visibly a little distracted by the smell but he did his best to shrug it off and focus on the words Han was saying to him “I kinda like not scaring myself every time I look in the mirror” he admitted with a gentle laugh, the bright colors could be a bit much sometimes. The celestial’s nervous rambling made his lips twitch up into a smile though, he always did love it when Han got all tripped up over his words. Feeling the celestial touch his nose Jae let out a laugh and scrunched up his nose. He blushed though, he’d never felt like he was insanely attractive but the celestial telling him he thought so every day had definitely given Jae more confidence about his own body.

Han, however, Jae had always found so utterly beautiful and gorgeous, whether it was the dark hair that the other male sported most of the time or the bright red he’d had for a little while, he looked utterly stunning no matter what he did with his hair. Then again, people were always better at complimenting others than they were themselves right? Jae only mentioned matching because he knew Han liked matching, sometimes he could point out when they wore the same colors and there was that one time they’d gotten matching PJs of all things. Jae had been skeptical but it was too cute not to go along with. The way Han talked about his own recklessness made Jae grimace a little, pressing his lips together. He knew how dangerous the world was for a celestial and he was naturally very protective over Hanseol “Yeah well, thank god your reckless self thought to call me” and that Jae was tired enough to answer too “I’m really glad you’re okay” he spoke softly, he didn’t know quite what he’d do if Han had gotten hurt seriously last night.

“No one likes waking up with a hangover Han” he jested with a light laugh, Jae remembered back to a few of his worst ones, he had felt absolutely awful and barely left his room for the whole day, he was pretty impressed the celestial was awake and functioning seemingly normally today. When Han admitted he didn’t want Jae to see him like this the dhampir’s eyes softened a little “Don’t be” he spoke softly “That’s the point I’ve kinda been trying to make, that I can handle the worst” he reached up to rub his thumb slowly over Han’s cheek where he was blushing “Tired and headachy you, is still you” he nodded a little. The talk about glowing though, that was different. Jae supposed Han hadn’t been able to control whether he did or didn’t glow while he was drunk. He had looked pretty beautiful, the dhampir had to admit, but also drew a lot of attention “Bright enough that the thugs at the side of the road noticed it” he admitted and bit on his bottom lip “We all make mistakes” he spoke softly “Just learn from them” he suggested with a nod.

Jae could see how the way he was speaking might imply that Han had changed from the person he used to be, he had changed, Jae had seen those changes first hand in the time they had been together, from the confidence Han gained in his job as he branched out, became more ambitious about his veterinary work and even faced his fears of driving to head out to the Denver branch a few times. He’d seen the evolution of Han’s artistic muse and how he rarely stopped painting, every night he was working on something new, like the creativity was flowing out of him and surrounding the page. He’d seen someone that was cold and snarky at times turn into one of the sweetest and most loveable personalities he’d ever met and he slowly saw those walls Han built crumbling. He always knew Han had trust issues and he could be insecure at times but Jae thought he was making great progress with those and maybe he had fooled himself into thinking the star was handling them better than he really was “I know you are” he responded softly, he still was the same person “But you also hurt me” he admitted as he pressed his lips together “and while I forgive you for that, I can’t just immediately jump back to where we were either” he hoped Han could understand that it wasn’t easy to have his trust damaged like that and now attempt to piece it back together.

The more Jae talked, the more he noticed that the panic was setting into Han, now he wasn’t so angry and frustrated it was much easier for the dhampir to recognize when he was overloading the celestial so when Han asked for time, the half-valkyr simply nodded his head, he’d gone into this conversation to himself that he would stay rational and patient. He didn’t want to go back to yelling and throwing accusations back and forth, that had made the two of them miserable and solved nothing between them “Take your time, you can explain it when you’re ready” Jae was a very understanding person, he already knew the truth of the situation about the pills, Han had explained it last night. The dhampir just wanted Han to know everything they talked about so there wasn’t this feeling like pieces of information were missing or disjointed. Jae knew it wasn’t going to be easy to deal with this particular topic, especially for Han but he did believe with communication, he could help Han to get through it and see the other side. Especially when he knew he was an alternative for helping the star to sleep.

Still, even now, Jae had come for Hanseol. Something told him he would always do so. There was something about the bond the two of them had which was almost impossible to put into words, they were just, each others. Maybe it was the fact they were one another’s first loves or maybe it was the fate Han loved to preach about. Either way, he felt this connection with Han he didn’t have with anyone else, a certainty that the star knew him better than anyone else did. That he was his person. Jae knew in his heart of hearts that everything Han did wasn’t with malicious intent and that he simply thought he was protecting and doing what he thought was best for Jae. They had their issues to work through because building a relationship on hiding things and lying wasn’t the way to go, but if the intention was right, maybe they could figure this out? Han seemed to be willing to open himself up more, he admitted hiding things were a mistake and the dhampir was fairly certain the star hadn’t held anything back today aside from the topic of the sleeping pills.

Jae’s eyes widened in surprise as he felt the celestial throw his arms around him, so much so that he did stumble back over his feet a little but he lifted his arms to wrap around the star to steady the both of them, one of his arms holding his waist while the other curled to press his palm against the back of Hanseol’s neck. It almost broke his heart, hearing Han call himself broken and mangled. Jae closed his eyes, letting out a long and shaky breath “Like you said, Han, you’re still the same person you’ve always been, the same man I fell in love with” he spoke softly as he lowered his hand to rub circles against his back “I told you I chose you, I didn’t fool myself into believing the sugar-coated version you showed was the full picture” when Han pulled back to look in his eyes, he nodded a little “I’ve been trying to tell you that for a long time” he hated that it had to be this way to drive the message home but it felt like maybe the star finally got it, that he loved him for all of him, every part of him.

Jae laughed as Han pointed out a few of his little ticks, by now, Han seemed to know most of them, they could read one another well and knew how the other was feeling just by looking at them. Sometimes Jae truly believed Han probably knew him better than he even knew himself. Han was right though, they did pick up things from one another, they started to talk in the same ways and do the same things, they rubbed off on one another in good and bad ways “I guess we are” he responded and returned the smile, he was so glad they were finally talking like this, in a way that felt open and honest. Jae went quiet as he listened to Han’s next words, his breath catching in his throat as he heard the promises the star was making. The dhampir teared up a little as he took in the words, they were everything he wanted to hear and yes, while they might be a little late, they meant everything to him. He felt important and he felt wanted and most importantly, he felt hope that they could find a place in the future where they were open and honest with each other. After a few moments of silence, he nodded “Okay” he spoke softly “I think we can definitely start there” he spoke softly, that was him voicing his willingness to talk about them getting back together once they talk through everything.

The kiss shared between them only cemented that hope which was flickering between the two of them, there was definitely no lack of love between the two of them and it was obvious how much they cared for one another. Honestly, Jae felt like the star cared about him more than he cared about himself at times. Being together like this, feeling the star’s soft lips against his, it felt right and warm and everything he had been craving since the moment the two of them parted ways. When they pulled apart, Jae’s eyes went straight to those doe hues and he could tell the both of them were tempted to lean in again, get lost in it all. But at the same time, there were still things they needed to talk through before Jae felt like he could fully reconcile with what happened. He knew his question about Yeon was direct but the dhampir had to know the truth of what happened between them so it wasn’t a question mark in his head any longer. He let out a sigh of relief as Han explained about how the whole thing was done with razor blades, he felt better now that image could be expelled from his mind “And his...uh” Jae coughed “His comments about offers?” he couldn’t bring himself to say it like the valkyr had but it really bothered him that the blond had said he tried to sleep with his boyfriend.

Jae did feel reassured by the fact Han hadn’t bitten or been bitten by the valkyr, blood sharing was as Han said, personal and intimate to the dhampir, it wasn’t the kind of thing he wanted to know he shared with someone else and he felt a sense of importance from Han assuring him he was the only one he wanted that with “I really don’t want to be that guy who gets all crazy jealous but” Jae sighed “He’s damn gorgeous Han” Jae worried at his bottom lip, he hated the fact he was jealous or even a little possessive over Hanseol but just like he wanted Han to be honest with him, Jae was trying to do the same. There was no hesitation in him as he followed the star to the bathroom though, soothing him through the illness and making sure he was okay “Make sure to get a glass of water” he spoke softly as he headed out of the bathroom and sat down on the couch.

The familiar feeling of the star in his lap was nice, feeling the way he curled into Jae’s warmth and made himself comfortable there, there was a moment of silence between the two of them and one of Jae’s hands came to rub softly against the base of Han’s neck and soothingly massage him while the other ran through his dark locks, his fingers playing with the silky strands that twisted around his touch. When Han started speaking, Jae kept quiet and took in the words he was saying. Jae was worried, of course, he was worried, addiction was a serious subject after all and Han was all but admitting he didn’t know how to stop and he was becoming reliant on the medication. He let Han get through his entire explanation of why he felt like he needed them and how it made him feel, he nodded softly, still touching the star softly and soothingly as he let the words settle in.

Jae started by dropping his head and pressing a soft kiss against the star’s hair, taking in his scent and feeling incredibly nostalgic for all those times they had spent tangled up in one another while in bed. He held onto the star as he cried and spoke soft words to him “First, I want you to know that there’s no shame in feeling like you can’t deal with something alone” he nodded a little “You’re not alone and you should never have to go through something like that by yourself” he pressed his lips together “Second, yes, I would have worried” he admitted “But I would have worried so much worse if something happened to you because of this and I can handle it, baby” he teared up a little “You’ve seen me overtaken with anger and you never turned your back on me, I can handle your worst too” he squeezed the hand that Han was holding “Bother me, Han, please, I care about you too much to sit on the sidelines of your life”

“Just like we’ve tackled everything so far, we’ll find a way through it okay, we’ll get the help you need and you’ll get better” he assured him as he pulled him in close, leaning his head against Han’s “You’re okay, you’re safe” he added “Nothing and no one, is going to hurt you while you’re here, safe in my arms” he closed his eyes just holding him close. He had missed being this close to him and feeling his heartbeat in his chest and the shallow breaths he always took as he relaxed in the dhampir’s arms.

CelestialPermalink Reply by ✓ Hanseol Park on May 25, 2019 at 17:18

He didn’t mean to do it, but he did. He kept nibbling on his bottom lip nervously too much until his canine eventually pierced the skin and soon the coppery metallic taste of his own blood filled his senses. Okay, wow, he wasn’t a big fan of tasting his own blood, the only times he ever made an exception was when there were leftovers smeared on Jae’s lips. Han brought his thumb and brushed over it as he winced slightly at the sight of the blood tainting his thumb now. Since he didn’t make a fuss of it, he just wiped it against his shirt and hoped that it would stop bleeding soon. Surely, he didn’t bite it that hard. Seeing how the dhampir was momentarily distracted by that stunt he had inadvertently pulled earlier, a small blush rose up on his cheeks due to embarrassment. Oh god, Han, why did you have to do that?

He really did miss showing his affection to Jae by pointing out this and that, whatever he liked about the half-valkyr. When the latter scrunched up his nose when he touched it, a small giggle escaped his mouth which made him bit his bottom lip so he would end up stifling it down. Doesn’t make it any less cute, obviously. It looks like Hanseol was trying his best not to laugh out loud is all. Both of them derived their energy from each other, comes the occasional compliments here and there which evidently fueled the confidence level by a mile. Jae would flatter Han and Han would do the same to him. It was a never-ending cycle, and boy were they happy with how their progress was going. Hanseol never forgot to point out the bright colors the dhampir sported over the months, making his comments on how each suited him because nothing would ever not suit the male. He wasn’t lying and it wasn’t just him praising just because he could. Perhaps, the celestial was being biased because the dhampir is his boyfriend, after all. Hyping him is in the job description.

To him, the half-valkyr is quite possibly, one of the most attractive people existing on earth today, and definitely the most beautiful to him alone. Rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, Han diverted his gaze away from him and suddenly occupied himself with the patterns of his pants today. He was utterly embarrassed. “Well, at least reckless me knew to do something good for once” he mumbled silently, secretly he too, was grateful that drunk him was brave enough to call Jae because honestly, sober him wouldn’t find the strength to do that. But now that he’s here, it’s all motivating him to embrace it. “You know what I mean” he grumbled grumpily, huffing and blowing the stray strands that restricted his peripheral vision as he crossed his arms in retaliation, much like a child throwing a mini tantrum internally. Feeling the thumb brushing his cheek only made the celestial flame up more, with his doe-like hues widening in shyness, he even parted his lips slightly in reflex. He was in awe.

Han used to hate his glow until Jae started commenting on it, which made him grow to like it gradually as time passes by. After going to plenty of training sessions with Ophelia, thanks to the Wayfinder, he could control his light a lot better now with ease. “I hope I do learn from mine… seems like I’m always doing the same mistakes over and over again” thankfully it was just thugs, who no doubt Jae could handle without as much as breaking a sweat, but still, he felt guilty for dragging him afar only to deliver him with another problem. If he had to measure how much he misses Jae, even then he wouldn’t be able to surmise them. Jae was his catalyst, he manipulated a lot of decisions and choices in the star’s life. He was his muse, he was his psychiatrist, his remedy. Before Jae, Han wasn’t as forward with his affection or love, or honestly anything else. He’s shy and timid, but he was also very cold and snarky to others which often pushed them away from interacting with him any further.

After injuring his hand, he couldn’t draw or paint quite as well as he used to and it really made him depressed. Upon thinking about it, the celestial rubbed his free hand on his left knuckle, brushing against it softly as he heaved a sigh. “Did you know I stopped painting?” he quipped absentmindedly, staring at his own hands with a sad expression. “I… hurt my hand and wasn’t able to paint nor draw as well as I used to” he just felt this need to tell Jae what happened to him in those past weeks that felt so hellish for him. It’s all about them telling the truth to each other, right? “It doesn’t matter how long it takes for you to forgive me and whatnot, Jae. I told you, I’ll own up to my mistakes. We have all the time in the world, right?” However, halfway ending his sentence, his voice faltered slightly because he wasn’t sure if he had all the time in the world the same way he said he did. But god did he wish he had them. “I just don’t want us to be mad at each other anymore… I can’t handle distancing myself from you, knowing you’re just a few kilometers away from where I work. Every time I passed your apartment, your university, hell even the bookstore you work part-time at… even the lilies adorning the local florist near the park reminds me of you. Yeontan reminds me of you. The kitchen-” he couldn’t even go on without tearing up.

The same reason why he had to stop to take a breather because when things get overwhelming for the star, he goes into a static state where his paranoia and pessimistic thoughts were in a mix, resulting in his panic attack. He wanted to spill everything to him but unfortunately, Han will need to do that slowly. Even his health state would not permit him to do anything rash and quick without rethinking. Maybe that’s his curse. He’s just grateful and thankful that Jae is considerate. Really, what did he do to deserve this beautiful and kind man? He probably saved a country in his last life. Admitting that he was a broken person wasn’t easy for the celestial, especially when he’s too used on forgetting things while pushing it away. This is basically a statement by the celestial that he knows what’s wrong with him and he’s pained by it. “Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for loving me, baby. I don’t deserve you but god I will cherish you until the end of days because you deserve the best and while I may not be that, I’ll do my very best to provide that to you” his hands tangled itself in Jae’s dark locks, stroking the dhampir softly as he nuzzled his face against the nook of his neck, breathing in the strong scent he loves so much.

Even if he may not have long, he’s not going to let that stop him. This was his time, their time, and he’ll be damned if he allowed anyone or anything to take that away from him. Han hated that he had to part away from Jae, successfully breaking the kiss between them, but there would be plenty of time to do that later on. What’s important is to win him back again. At first, he had no idea why Jae would ever feel threatened by his Volakiri, who he treated as his best mate and best friend, but nothing more that would surpass Jae’s level of significance, until he realized it was the same with him regarding jealousy. “His offers?” he had to rethink what that meant and it actually took him a full minute to do that. “You mean when he said he’s offered himself for me to fuck?” Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have said the f word, but he’s being very direct with his words these days, courtesy of his best friend influencing him, no doubt. “That’s not even close to what we ever talked about, Jae. He never offered because he knows how much I love you and would never trade anything just to have a blissful few minutes. I mean, I have you, why would I ever want to settle with another guy, much less another person? I’m happy knowing I go home to your embrace every day. I’m only yours, and yours alone, baby” he reassured, dropping his arms to his side so he could rub them soothingly.

“He was trying to divert your attention… because of my panic attacks. I was close to having them then. He’s a very good friend, Jae. Admittedly his choice of words was quite...eh, but his intentions were good.” Han nodded softly, understanding where he’s at. “He is, isn’t he?” the snicker didn’t escape either their notice, of course. “Yeon is quite the looker. Many flocked to him, but not me. I agree he’s very gorgeous, and I’m proud because well, he is my best friend, who’s going to be his hype man if not me? But that’s as far as his looks go, Jae. His personality is gold as well, and I’m proud to have a friend like him. He’s like a hyung, looking over me, even though I’m the elder one in the friendship. When it comes to making my breath hitch,” placing both his hands on both sides of his face, cradling it tenderly, his eyes softened as he brushed his thumbs against his cheekbones. “It’s you. You’re the only one who can make me a blushing mess, baby.” When he laid his head on Jae’s lap, he swore a purr was elicited. He never let go of the dhampir’s hand throughout the entire time he talked about his addiction to sleeping pills either. It was somewhat an assurance to the star that Jae wouldn’t leave him. That this was real and not a dream.

Hearing his answer to his revelation made the celestial tear up even more, causing him to get up from the other male’s lap and smiled sadly before hooking his hands around his neck, pushing the two of them together as he’s smooshed into a hug. “I miss you so much…” Pulling back to meet the dhampir’s dark hues that he’s deeply in love with, he curved a smile, a real one this time; the one where it extended up to his eyes. “Thank you for being here with me, Jae… for not leaving me.” Leaning in closer to meet yet another part of the dhampir's body, his hot breath fanned against Jae's lips as the star stared at it knowingly. All thoughts of asking for a permission went out of the window when he dipped in and claimed those lips for his own. A whimper escaped him, relishing in the way his body trembled under the shivers that ran down his spine. This felt so right.  

DhampirPermalink Reply by ✓ Jaesung Moon on May 26, 2019 at 9:12

Jae noted the way it was very easy to fall into this ease the two of them had always had, it had been there since the very night they met, they just talked to one another on a level that hadn’t felt like strangers and Jae, someone who mostly avoided strangers, had ended up giving Hanseol his number that night because he saw something in him that the dhampir couldn’t explain. That had only deepened in their time together, they had their little in-jokes and things they often pointed out and teased one another about. Jae had learned very quickly that Han was very vocal with his feelings and likes to say them in 100 different ways. He didn’t mind, it reminded the dhampir each and every day how important he was to Hanseol. Still, even when they weren’t together and things were difficult and complicated between them, they could make one another laugh so easily. With just a comment or a light touch, it was that easy.

Jae could tell that Han felt ashamed about what happened last night and he couldn’t really blame him for that, losing control of yourself sucked, the half-valkyr knew that as fact. Not being able to even remember it must feel even harder for the star. But Jae wasn’t going to lecture him on his mistakes or make him feel any worse for it, Han had always been very good at kicking himself when he was down, he didn’t need Jae to make things worse. Jae gave him a knowing smile when the star spoke again, his thumb brushing over his slightly reddened cheeks finding it utterly adorable how he was sulking over it “The only thing that matters to me is that you’re safe” he spoke softly “You should know that by now” he nodded softly, quite literally the second time they were together Jae had thrown himself between Han and danger, he would do so again in a heartbeat.

Jae had always loved Hanseol’s glow, he liked the way he quite literally lit up a room when he walked into it and the dhampir had often just found himself staring because of how indescribably gorgeous is made the star look. Perhaps Han had his issues with being a celestial, there were parts about it that Jae hated too but getting the chance to meet a fallen star. Often he just wanted to look up to the sky and thank them for sparing one, his one. Han acknowledging that he made a lot of repeated mistakes made the dhampir press his lips into a fine line “Well the first step is realizing they are mistakes” he spoke softly, he wasn’t sure that Han realized the mistake he made at first because in his mind he could justify everything he did and it didn’t seem to occur to him the impact that might have on Jae. It was all well and good Han wanting to protect Jae but the star seemed to forget that a desire to protect worked both ways “Those thugs will definitely learn from their mistake to mess with you or me” he commented slightly grumpily, they deserved way worse than what Jae gave them but his first priority had been Han.

The moment that Han spoke about stopping painting the dhampir had to pause for a moment just to take in what he was hearing, he completely stopped, his face showing evident confusion as he tried to process what the celestial said. His expression fell. Han’s artistic passion was one of the things Jae loved most about him, it was the thing that had drawn them both together in the first place and he felt almost physically pained in his chest to hear the star say he had given it up. He felt even worse knowing it was because of an injury, one Jae had no doubts was likely caused out of frustration after their fight “Oh god, I am so sorry” he spoke honestly as he reached out to cover the star’s hand with both of his own as though that could actually fix anything and he took a shaky breath “Did you see a doctor? Is it going to heal?” the questions came out rapid-fire as he showed obvious worry over the other male. Realizing he was acting the exact way Han feared he would he took a long breath “Sorry, I just- I know how much painting means to you” he spoke as he looked up to the star and nodded, rubbing his thumb over the top of Hanseol’s hand absentmindedly as they talked.

He felt reassured by the way Han said he would wait for the dhampir to feel like he could move past this. Honestly, Jae didn’t really know how to process everything he was feeling, he was just wading his way through it as they talked and got everything into the open. There was no proper or expected way to handle this though right? Feelings weren’t as simple as that, he was certain of that much. “I’m not mad at you anymore” he affirmed to the other male “I still..” he paused and pressed his lips together “I still just need to feel reassured that this is the last time I’m going to feel like I’m being shut out” because frankly he wasn’t sure how he was going to cope with it again “And that’s not something you can just tell me is true, that’s going to take time” but much like Han said, everything reminded him of what he had lost and it seemed too important to walk away from when there was hope for a better future “But I want to try and I don’t have the energy to push you away anymore” maybe he would come to regret this decision, maybe he wouldn’t, either way, he wanted to try.

He watched as Hanseol processed his way through all the things they were talking about, it was a lot for Jae too, battling his own inner emotions in his mind that were conflicted, part of him just wanted to believe everything would go back to the way it was, the other knew that wasn’t possible but he hoped whatever it was they found, it was stronger, maybe even better, for having gone through this and learned what a relationship really meant to them in the process. Hearing Han thank him, the dhampir hitched his breath as he looked down to meet Han’s eyes and then he felt him lean in, his fingertips gentle and soothing in Jae’s hair and the star’s soft breath against his neck. Jae wrapped his arms around him, just holding him close to him as he spoke “I never had much of a choice, the universe decided to send me flying into space for a fallen star one day and he never left me since” he murmured softly as he closed his eyes rubbing Han’s back gently “Please don’t shut me out” he spoke softly as he held him.

He knew Han had his doubts about his own immortality and how much time he would get, he’d never been shy on that, he told Jae himself several times that he feared one day he was going have to run again or that hunters would catch up to him and Jae believed him, he’d been there to see the attack on the clinic for himself after all. But Jae knew with his held and now also Yeon’s and maybe even Daehyun’s that they could find ways to keep the star safe. Jae would fight to his dying breath for the star. As much as Jae hated not being able to be the only person who protected the star he wasn’t stupid enough to deny him any help he could get. Even if said help was from an attractive valkyr who literally said he wanted to fuck his boyfriend. Jae swallowed. Han’s explanation both helped and didn’t, it convinced him of the fact that Han never saw their friendship as anything more than a friendship but he still didn’t trust Yeon. And he didn’t think anything Han said would convince him of that. He took a shaky breath as he felt Han rub over his arms “It’s not exactly a secret that I doubt myself sometimes” he admitted in return, this was all about getting their truths out there right? Jae wanted Han to understand why he had flown off the handle that day, though he regretted how he acted, it was based on real feelings he needed to deal with “Seeing you with him, it just triggered something in me” he bit his lip, he wasn’t proud of the angry way he acted.

Truth was, Jae knew he could never compete with that guy, someone with that level of confidence and energy, Jae felt like he utterly paled in comparison. Hell, the whole damn room was staring at him that day. And while normally Jae could handle not being the best-looking person in the room, when he knew that person was close with the one he loved most, that was incredibly hard for him. The way Han spoke about Yeon though, it was honest, Jae could tell. The way the star didn’t deny anything or try and downplay the way Jae felt about it was appreciated. But then the star also assured him he only had eyes for him, which made Jae freeze, his vulnerable gaze turning upwards to meet Hanseol’s as he felt his hands on either side of his face. Jae hated admitting he was insecure but the celestial didn’t make him feel wrong for it, only assured him of what he meant to him. Jae closed his eyes as he felt Han’s touch move over his cheeks “I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why it’s me” he admitted in a soft whisper. Jae did doubt his own worth, always had and it was going to take him a long time to move past that “But I want to try to understand” he admitted, he didn’t have the answers on how to get there right now, but he wanted to find them.

Jae was a little surprised when Han got up from his lap, he was half expecting the star to give in to the exhaustion he was feeling and sleep for a while in his lap but instead he returned, this time sitting on the dhampir’s lap and pulling Jae in for a hug. Jae barely had the chance to take a full breath before he was pulled in for a tight hug “I miss you too” he admitted in a weak voice, his eyes fluttered open to meet Hanseol’s and he caught so much emotion in them. It was a raw, extended period of the two of them just looking back at one another, saying so many things without uttering a single word and then Han thanked him. Watching the way Han’s gaze dropped to his lips, Jae found himself doing the same to the star, holding his breath as he anticipated what came next and the two of them slowly moved in. He met the star’s kiss knowingly this time because it was all he wanted. Much like Hanseol, his body felt jittery, as their lips touched, the familiar feeling washing over him as his parted a little and he echoed the star’s whimper while his hand lifted to hold behind Hanseol’s neck. The kiss deepened and it felt like the past 3 weeks of pain just melted away for a while. He didn’t want to stop, so he continued kissing the star, his fingers tangling up in the hair at the back of the star’s neck, his whole body giving itself over to the kisses they shared feeling the adrenaline coursing through his body making it feel tingly and warm “Are you” he kept speaking between kisses “free” he added his lips returning to Hanseol’s straight after “On Saturday?” he added still refusing to end the moment.

CelestialPermalink Reply by ✓ Hanseol Park on May 29, 2019 at 18:33

He remembered the day they met, and every single moment they had spent together ever since. How could he forget when Jae was all that he could actually think about throughout the entire time? The moment he laid his eyes on the dhampir, the Celestial knew he's that guy. Well, he didn't actually know that he would be his greatest and epic love, obviously. No one can actually know that from a single glance, much less the first. But Hanseol knew Jae would stick by his side like a thorn, and boy was he grateful for it. Jae eventually became the person who stood by him through everything and made his second chance at life a more positive as well as a prosperous one. He couldn't count the times he's been elated and delighted every time he saw him. He didn't know what love is, until he showed him and now he didn't want to let it go. Not without fight hence this discussion they are having currently.

Had it been up to him, secretly even a part of Hanseol didn't want to out himself to the half-valkyr in fear that he wouldn't see him in the same light ever again, but that fear is still ingrained if he didn't speak the truth. A text message one day turned into phone calls and daily Face timing. The two basked in each other's company so well that nothing would really surpass the quality time they spent with one another. Sometimes, his idea of happiness is being able to hold and caress Jae's cheeks and kiss him goodnight. He wanted to lead a domesticated simple life and for a while, he had that. How could he let go of what they've built until now? He couldn't stop his blush from flaming deeper when Jae brushed his thumb against his cheeks, successfully eliciting a slight whine caught halfway in his throat. "I'm never safe, let's be real there" he chuckled bitterly, but dismissed it off with a smile. "But I do agree I feel safer when I'm with you." Even Han knew he's never considered safe because the world demands a bit of dark to balance the light. So long as there are bad people inhabiting the world they live in, he'll never truly be safe. But he didn't need that when he could cherish the moments he had to enjoy his freedom with the people he cares and loves.

The dark-haired Celestial noticed that his glow started to grow a  brighter but still faint energy, that happens whenever he's overwhelmed or any of his emotions overtook him. As of this moment, Hanseol only felt endearment toward Jae. Love, at least that's what he calls it. "I'm learning things… albeit slowly but I am, learning. Things are… foreign as usual" he'll admit truthfully, things weren't as easy as he thought it would be. He accommodated himself pretty decent for a while, but pushing that aside, the doe-eyed star still has yet to stake his place in this world and that's an important step for him. "I'm just glad I can be someone to someone. Even if it's just one person, I'm glad someone sees me and loves me. Being taken care of, do you know that's a lonely person's biggest wish?" he asked softly, hovering his free hand over the dhampir's own. Holding his hand had been his way to assure himself ever since they started dating. Seeing how Jae was grumbling regarding the thugs, Han couldn't help but to scrunch his nose cutely at how his dhampir is acting, prompting him to bring both hands up to pinch his cheeks playfully as he grinned gleefully. So cute.

"How can they ever think of taking on a dhampir, stupid guys, thank you for coming to my aid, my hero" he cooed wryly, brushing his fingers against the half-valkyr's hands, squeezing on them occasionally just because he could. The talk about how he had stopped painting for a while, it wasn't an easy topic for the Celestial to talk about. It's been one of his most sensitive ones, even Yeon couldn't manage to get a word out from him no matter how many times he tried to persuade the male to pick up his brushes and allow his creativity to flow on the blank canvas per usual. The Celestial would often refute the valkyr harshly and ended up breaking down into tears as soon as he left the room. He wondered if that was what it felt like to lose one part of you slowly and little by little. "Why are you sorry, Jae. It's not your fault… I am one to blame because I was stupid enough to ruin my hands just because I was mad" he remembered distinctly how he had pushed himself to the edge and punched the brick wall of his home until he couldn't feel any pain left. The pain on his hands couldn't measure the pain of his heart breaking, after all.

"I saw the doctor and he said that I should've went earlier, but things weren't as bad… I took off my cast and bandage a week ago. I tried to pick up a brush and paint but every time I do that, I would drop them" it was of no wonder that the Celestial gave up. What did he have to lose again? "I think it's karma coming back to bite me, ironically. I'll be fine… it's not the end of the world, right?" Jae knew how much painting meant to Hanseol, it was one of the few things that he could lose himself in happily and to have that taken away from him, it was another painful thing. But he'll get over it, he will, won't he? Finding out that Jae was no longer mad at him made him sigh in relief, that's good. Things weren't going to be easy to mend, but he knew they were far stronger than they give credit for, so they can get through this. No matter how long it will take. "I don't want to push you away too… I guess we can both start to slowly mend this dent in our relationship. I'll be honest, Jae… this is one of the things that I was proud of doing. The only thing I can hope to see is how it will flourish and grow stronger as time passes" mistakes have been done, there was no use of acting as if it was never there.

But at least, they can acknowledge it and recognize their own limitations in order to further analyze this. Jae always felt warm to him, and the dhampir radiated the same thus transferring it to him who's always used to the cold nights. Han is a rather touchy person who likes to initiate skinship with those he likes very much. It was hard to see him keeping his hands off the dhampir, most of the time. "That fallen star had known many failures in his life. He fell from the sky not knowing what he did wrong or if it was a blessing instead" averting his position as he stared into the latter's dark hues, with his own filled with endearment and love, he curved a small smile. "But he also fell for a second time. For a guy who's never knew love in his life, the process of falling for this person isn't easy but it's beautiful." He may not be able to promise many things but this was one that he could; he vowed to love him forever, because the dhampir is his first and last. And he's okay with that. "I know your insecurity, baby… but when it comes to me, I wish you won't ever doubt yourself. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you and you only, remember. How can I spare another glance to someone else when I know I have you in my heart?" he even went as far as to bring Jae's right hand to his chest, pressing the palm against the spot where his beating heart lies.

"I'd say it beats because of the oxygen being pumped through but… it beats for you too." God, he missed being so cheesy around him. Han felt as if he could be goofy and giddy around him and that's a very good feeling. He could understand why She would feel bothered by Yeon but he also wishes to make amendments for them. Yeon is a very good friend and Han desperately wants to set things right between them so that the dhampir would be able to witness the valkyr's kindness and humility. "Honestly I can understand, it's how I feel awkward seeing you with Dae too. After seeing him with you that day, you never told me he looks like that… it seems that I'm not the only one who possess an attractive friend. The way he held you… if I ask you if he had any attraction towards you even once, would you deny it?" Was he jealous of Daehyun? Perhaps. Hanseol is in general, an overprotective and jealous boyfriend. The Niveis was also a looker, he didn't want to feel the need to compete but honestly, it's easier said than done. Chuckling tenderly at his remark, he cradled Jae's face in his hands, tilting his head slightly to the side as he rubbed his fingers against his skin. "Because you're you. You're Jaesung Moon, that stupidly attractive guy who had a golden heart that could melt anyone's heart. That guy who could melt mine... That's more than enough reasons, baby." The moment he fell for Jae, he couldn't find a single reason to surmise it.

He just loves him, that's all he knows. He's fine with that revelation being their minimum. "Spend time with me, and I'll make you understand" he promised. He can make well on his words on that. Feeling how his hands snaked around his neck made the Celestial stiffen momentarily as he found himself melting in Jae's hold, his hands clutching on the other male as if he was trying to cling for his dear life. He was so deep into the kiss that he almost growled in response to the small pauses Jae took in between their kisses, until he focused on the words and only smiled against the kiss. For a few seconds, Han didn't give his answer, he only occupied himself with the half-valkyr's lips, up until they had to part for a while because the lack of air. "I'm always free for you, baby. Are you trying to ask me on a date?" he arched a questioning brow as a wry smirk crept up, inadvertently causing the star to pull Jae closer as he dragged the collar of his jacket before him until only a small space was left between them.

The fallen star didn't even waste any time on being subtle as he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip. "Because this is my yes" crashing his lips against the Dhampir's soft plump lips, a soft moan escaped the Celestial, as he slowly pushed the male on the soft cushion of the couch. "Just promise me that you are not planning to use the kitchen... I don't want to use the fire extinguisher and I would prefer you to be intact please..."

DhampirPermalink Reply by ✓ Jaesung Moon on May 30, 2019 at 8:19

That was one of the hardest things about this relationship, having to accept that being fully safe wasn’t an option for them, that there was always going to be some threat or danger posed to Hanseol because of what he was. Jae hated the fact that was their reality and that there was nothing he could do to change that or even make it the slightest bit better. He wanted so badly to be able to assure the other male he could protect him from anything but he knew that wasn’t reality and that giving a false promise like that would be completely pointless “I really wish that wasn’t our reality” Jae admitted with a sad smile but he purposely used the word ‘our’ because this wasn’t Han’s problem with to handle alone anymore. Jae told him that he signed up for this and he meant it, he wanted to be there through every high and low and while it terrified him that one day, someone was going to take Hanseol from him, he chose to fight for him rather than distance himself.

Jae’s eyes were filled with a sense of wonder as he saw the way the celestial was lighting up the room, the glow on his skin illuminating his features and making them look more defined and set, the look in his eyes completely captivating as Jae stared back at him, drinking in every sight of the other male because he felt like he missed so much in the space of 3 weeks, as odd as that might sound. “They’re foreign for me too you know” he admitted as he looked back into his doe-eyed gaze, it wasn’t like Jae knew anything about relationships first hand either and the examples he had from home weren’t exactly perfect. Feeling Han’s fingertips thread through his, Jae gave a soft and easy smile. He did love Han, there were so many reasons why but the way he made him feel when they were together, that felt like the reason, built up by all the other reasons. When Han called himself a lonely person Jae pressed his lips together “You’re not alone” the dhampir insisted “Even when we aren’t together in person you’re never alone” he hoped Han knew that, that he would always have someone on his side when it came to Jae.

Jae knew that Han was joking with him a little when he called him his hero, but it was still really nice to hear, as a protector, all he wanted to do was provide some level of comfort to Han, he accepted the fact that he could never make the other male 100% safe and that there was always going to be new challenges to face but to know he could do something, meant everything. But there were things he couldn’t protect him from, the dhampir was bitterly reminded of that as he heard the star talking about what had happened with his hands. Absentmindedly Jae was stroking the top of Hanseol’s hand with his fingertips as they talked as though it could do something to fix it. Jae knew it wasn’t directly his fault but the dhampir knew Han well enough to know how devastating going through that much be for him and as someone who cared about him deeply, knowing he was hurting also made Jae hurt. He encased Hanseol’s hands under his own and brought them up to press a soft kiss against the top of one.

The way Han talked about it all, Jae could tell there was a big undertone of sadness in it, and maybe it wasn’t the end of the world but it was also something the celestial could rightfully feel upset and torn up over. Jae lifted his hand to take hold of Han’s chin, meeting his eyes directly “You don’t have to pretend to be strong for me baby, it’s okay to feel upset or angry over it” he nodded a little “Hell, I’m upset for you” he admitted with a slightly shaky tone “Painting it’s…” he paused “It’s all I’ve ever known you to do” which was a way of saying that he acknowledged it was like a part of Hanseol, not just something he did to pass the time. Jae pressed his lips together as he looked back at the star “Is anything permanent?” though he already suspected the star’s hand had healed just fine and this was more a mental blocker than anything, finger injuries were rarely permanent damage.

What Han said summed up how he felt about everything well, he’d had three weeks to picture what his life would be like without the star in it and he hated it, there had been so many times where he’d been ready to rush right back to him and the reason he hadn’t, in the end, was because he wanted to be stronger than that. He wanted to feel like they could overcome this obstacle and come out better for it. “I can work with that” he spoke as he squeezed the other male’s hand softly “I don’t expect things to be perfect or us to not make mistakes, I just think we need to communicate with each other” Jae nodded, he knew that wasn’t exactly easy and sometimes it felt easy to cover things up or play them down but it wasn't healthy for either of them to be burying their emotions or worries.

And they were starting to show that today with the way both of them had brought up potentially difficult topics, especially Han as he talked about the injury to his hand, he knew it would be hard for the celestial to admit that had happened or how much it bothered him, that would normally be something he kept to himself and suffered in silence with. Especially because of the way it had happened and how the star blamed himself for it happening, self-deprecation could really be a killer. The way Han spoke about falling for him, it really was beautiful and his words did make Jae tear up a little, not out of sadness like before but out of relief and happiness that they were finally getting back to a place where he could see joy between them again. Somehow, Han knew exactly what to say to assure him when it came to insecurity, he never downplayed it or made Jae out to be a villain for feeling the way he did, just reiterated his commitment and the way he felt about the dhampir “I’m not there yet” he spoke softly as he looked up at Hanseol “But I love you and I…” he took a long breath “I trust you” he spoke as he curled his fingers against the star’s chest “When you tell me it’s only me, I trust you” and that trust wasn’t easy to give so it meant a lot.

The longer they talked the more familiar the conversation felt, reminding him of times they’d had in the past. Hanseol was always loose and free with his words, he had no shame in showing how he felt in every way possible and saying it was definitely one of his favorites. Jae didn’t mind, feeling reassured that someone cared for him that much was really comforting to him and who didn’t like to hear just how much their partner cared for them. Jae went quiet when Han mentioned how Jae had never mentioned that the Niveis never looked the way he did, honestly, it just hadn’t really occurred to Jae because he only ever had eyes for his star, he didn’t even need to pay anyone else mind when it came to that because he had everything he needed in Hanseol. “I don’t really know if he does” he responded honestly and shrugged “He jokes so much that it’s hard to know what’s serious and what isn’t but it doesn’t matter” he looked Han directly in the eye “I only see you Han, it’s always been you and it’s always going to be you” he nodded, even when they were broken up, his mind had never even considered straying “There’s no competition” he assured and he truly believed that. Jae had never felt anything like this before he met the fallen star, he awakened someone in him that he never knew was there, why would he jeopardize that?

The way that Han talked about him, it gave the dhampir confidence he knew he lacked, he had always kinda pictured Hanseol as a cut above himself and so he found it hard to believe when he said it was Jae he wanted. But 4 months of being together had definitely begun to win him over to the idea and he was slowly accepting that this was his reality now. He allowed himself to get lost in the moment, feeling the star’s lips as they grazed over his, the two of them finally reconciling all the pain they had gone through in the past few weeks and it felt so right to him, like things were finally how they were supposed to be. He whimpered a little into the kisses, he couldn’t believe this was really happening and that there was finally an end to the sadness he had been feeling. He was about to answer Han’s question but then he felt the other male pull him in by his jacket, holding him so tightly that the dhampir’s eyes widened a little.

And then Han answered his question before he could even answer it, the moment he felt Han’s tongue seek entrance he parted his lips and met it with his own, deepening the kiss to the point there was quite literally no space between the two of them. He allowed Han to push him down against the couch, whining as he leaned up into the kiss not wanting to let go. When Han pulled away to speak Jae laughed softly as the words and reached his hand up to tuck a few strands of hair behind the star’s ear. He could hardly believe he was so lucky as to get this view all for himself “I want to go out with you, a proper date where we get a little dressed up and we do something stupidly romantic and just” he smiled softly “Just talk about stupid things” his hand dropped to clutch onto the star’s chest “Make up for completely ruining your birthday” he spoke softly, he knew the star would have liked something romantic for it and Jae had been planning to before everything fell apart. He leaned in close, pressing his nose against Hanseol’s and then pushing up further to press his forehead against his. He fluttered his eyes closed just enjoying the intimacy of the moment and having Han close.

CelestialPermalink Reply by ✓ Hanseol Park on June 4, 2019 at 16:00

Han knew he could never run away forever. He wasn't sure when the hunt for their species would end, he knew it wouldn't be forever, but how long would it take, exactly? Was there any specific allocated time for them? A limit? It was so vague that Hanseol couldn't help but to frown upon it. This wasn't the life when intended to live with Jae, not when he has someone to take care of, now. Things were more than just him, he had someone he wanted to create a beautiful life with. But first, all the best relationships had their own downfalls where they bicker and argue with one another, okay, that's what he read from books and watch dramas, though it doesn't differ much from the reality too so he figured it was similar. In a way, at least. But the problem with their current issue right now is how much faith they had on each other. Han did a mistake by downgrading and forgetting how much it affects Jae just as how it affects himself and this is the result of it; purely derived from his own recklessness.

The good thing is that recklessness that is often associated with mistakes can be mend. Though it all depends on how well he maneuver his actions on this. His relationship depends on it, goddammit. "I know, I honestly wish it wasn't our reality too, it's not an ideal life, but I guess… it's life" he trailed, diverting his gaze from the floorboards to meet the dhampir's dark hues instead. Those hues he so deeply fell in love with, the one who would always comfort him in those lonely nights when he couldn't sleep. The eyes he's thankful for. "But that's okay, you know. I… kind of accepted it. I'm not overly fine with it obviously, but if that's the reality, then I'll handle it to the best of my ability. It would be a lot less lonely if I have someone by my side, of course" he didn't forget to make it known to the other male that he misses him badly and wanted him back. This was his chance to reconcile, and he's going to take it. He didn't notice the glow emitting off his body was strangely glowing brighter every second and it wasn't until he took in Jae's reaction to it that he was able to pinpoint where that expression on his face came from.

Upon finding the cause of it, Han cleared his throat awkwardly and tried to dominate it down. Now that he's fully sober, albeit with a slight headache from the horrendous hangover, he was able to count his steps and filter his words properly. Well, moderately. But what's the difference anyway. To Han, it's the same. When he said filter, he actually meant arrange. "Sorry about that, I forgot I glow" it was a sheepish attempt at trying to divert his attention away. A very unsuccessful one, obviously. Now that he sees it, despite his age, Hanseol was honestly like a growing young adult. He wouldn't say child, because he wasn't that immature or irrational when it comes to a few things. And Jae is in reality, a young adult too. "We can both grow and learn together then... " he mumbled absentmindedly, fiddling with his fingers nervously as he curled his lips into a small smile. "That is… if you would like to." Was he nervous? Of course, he was. This was his one and only chance at winning Jae back, and this is just a pathetic attempt at trying to do so. But it's filled with sincerity, his raw emotion was slowly pushing against the veil, a clear message telling Jae that he's tortured himself under the pretense that everything was fine when it wasn't.

He desperately wished to end this banter between them and just hug him while whispering sweet nothings. He wants his lover back. He wants his dhampir back. Han almost teared up when he heard Jae told him he wasn't alone because he had him. God, how true that was. It didn't make him feel like his loneliness was invalidated,  but he wasn't sure before if Jae thought of him. He shouldn't have thought such pessimistic thoughts regarding the dhampir but how could he help himself when he ended up hurting his hand and even got himself in trouble after being a useless drunk last night? But now that he got assurance from the half-valkyr that he really did love him still and cared deeply for him, it confirmed every doubt he had. "I'm glad I had you... I never had anyone to accompany me." In so many ways, Jae meant so much to him. It was a lot more than just being his first, it's the significance that the dark-haired male carried.

"I want to thank you for that" with that, he took both his hands into his own and smiled brightly. It was the first beaming one he adorned himself with ever since their argument. Everything was going to be alright, he assured himself. They can get through this. When he looked at his hands, he frowned and only spared a knowing smile to Jae. He knew Jae would easily identify how sad that one held. Painting had been Hanseol's passion for as long as he could remember, he loves his veterinary work, but painting, it was just a part of him that he'll never be able to let go. And now his painting hand is injured, leaving the star to stagger in his own faults. He shouldn't have punched the walls countless times. "The doctor said I broke a small portion of the bones but it wasn't serious. It healed a week ago, honestly. But I… I just couldn't bear picking up a brush, much less try to even sketch with a pencil. I'm not sure if it's my hand or if it's me. I desperately wish it's the first, if we're being honest. I can't be that damaged, right?" the way he gazed at Jae as those words escape him, with a whimper following suit and how broken he looked, Han wasn't sure if he was feeling sorry for himself or the opposite.

The Celestial brought one hand up to caress his cheek and smiled softly, brushing his fingers against Jae's sculpted symmetrical face tenderly. "We can make it work… I'm sure of it. We're stronger than this. And you're worth everything so what do I have to lose anyway." And how true that is. To the fallen star, he's worth everything. There wasn't anything he wouldn't give up for him. Han's love for Jae goes deeper than many perceived, sometimes even themselves. The topic regarding his injury had been a bit solemn and upsetting because it reminded him of his own foolish antics, but now after reminiscing his memories with the dhampir, it had successfully discarded it away by replacing them with hope. He would lie if he said he never felt threatened by Daehyun, especially not after seeing how attractive the Niveis actually was, that day. But he also trusted Jae when he said he's the only one for him. "That's right. It's always going to be me, right?" he chuckled and beamed gleefully. If Jae said that it's going to him, then it's going to him. "And you're always going to be my man. That's never going to change. You're mine and mine only." Han wasn't as territorial but when talking about jealousy, the Celestial loved to showcase that. It's not his fault his boyfriend is attractive.

When his lips meet Jae's own, he wasted no time to show how much he's missed him. He didn't want to let him go, and if it wasn't because of their compulsory need for air to breathe, he probably wouldn't have. It felt so right, and knowing that Jae responded. He wanted this too. That alone was already sending Han to cloud 9. The fact that he didn't even give any time for Jae to spare into answering his question before pulling him in for another passionate kiss. His grip on his jacket tightened and it was clear that the star had no intentions on letting him go anytime soon. Pushing himself against the soft cushion of the couch, Han positioned himself above the dhampir and straddled him slightly. Feeling Jae's hand on his chest, he could feel how his heart was tempted to lurch out physically. He placed a hand over Jae's own and grinned lovingly. They were both staring into each other's being, taking in the sight before them while clutching to its existence. This wasn't a dream. It was real.

"And your wish is my command, your Majesty" he winked, truthfully where's the lie in that? Jae was quite literally the king of his heart. "We'll spend the entire day together. I'll dress up on my finest clothes, and I will make sure you have a date that you won't forget." Speaking about his birthday, it made the tears well up but he wiped it away quickly because this was supposed to be a happy occasion. "Whatever you want, Jae. This is the best birthday present ever already. To have you in my arms. But I won't complain if I get more." The way he leaned his forehead against his made the star smile widely, god this is just euphoric. Jaesung Moon truly is his euphoria. It didn't take him long to flop on the dhampir, resting his head against his chest as he kissed both Jae's hands, before eventually dozing off a few seconds later.

DhampirPermalink Reply by ✓ Jaesung Moon on June 5, 2019 at 0:11

The way that Han repeated the word ‘our’ back to Jae when he talked about the life they were now living made a small smile appear on Jae’s lips, he was right, it was a sad reality that the two of them now had to face but the truth was they knew nothing about how long they would have or what the future would bring but what they did have was each other, right here, right now and that would be what Jae held onto “Then I will accept it too” Jae assured him as he looked the other male in the eyes “The idea of losing you it” he felt his eyes tear up just a little as he looked up at Han “It’s not easy for me, but I accept that our life is always going to be complicated and that it might not always go the way I want it” Jae would choose a short amount of bliss with Han over an eternity without him, he cared about him that much and he wanted to make the most of every precious moment he was gifted with the fallen star.

Jae parted his lips a little in protest when the other male apologized “You don’t have to apologize for being what you are” Jae assured him with a slightly frustrated look on his face, he cared about Han so deeply and honestly, it truly hurt to see him ashamed of what he was at times because when he saw that ethereal glow, he saw another part of the man he loved, there were many parts and when put together that made Hanseol Park. The person he felt like he knew best in the world and cared most for. Jae had no hesitation when Han offered to learn and grow together, that was exactly what Jae had been asking to do for a while now, of course, they weren’t going to get everything right but if they could talk about their feelings he felt like they could get past the harder times “I would like to, I want to” he assured him without a second thought, his eyes capturing Han’s reassuringly. He felt ready to move past this difficult stage they were in a figure out what was next.

He could see the look in Han’s eyes that was reflected in his own, it was a certain longing for things to go back to the way they were before all this happened or perhaps not exactly how they were before but back to happiness. They had made one another so happy and no one could take that away from them. Jae constantly tried to reassure Han of his own commitment, he’d been doing so for all the months they had been together and while they were often facing a lot of adversity and difficulties, when it was just him and Hanseol, things didn’t feel as complicated. “You’ve always had me” Jae responded as he pressed his lips together “From that stupid first fall you’ve had me” Jae didn’t give his number out to people he didn’t know but he’d given it to Han, he had thrown himself between Han and danger the immediate he saw it and most of all, he didn’t regret any of it and he never would regret loving a fallen star.

When Han thanked him, Jae gave a smile and nodded, closing his eyes for a moment as he took the words for what they were, to Jae, it wasn’t really a question or a choice, when it came to Han he was irrational and he put the star first even when his head was telling him that might be a stupid decision. That’s the thing about loving someone, it wasn’t always logical or rational but god damn was it a beautiful feeling. Throughout the whole discussion about his hands, Jae was holding onto it as though he could help by doing so. He couldn’t stop them hurting or bring back Hanseol’s inner feelings when it came to his painting but he could do his utmost to help him heal and to find it again. The way Han talked about himself being damaged made Jae’s heart lurch in his chest a little, he reached up to rub his thumb over Han’s face and his lips parted as he heard the soft whimper “Whatever it is, it’ll heal with time” he spoke softly “I’ve seen your artistic passion Han, there’s no way it’ll stay down forever and you’ll find a way to find it again” it just might take some time because the other male needed to reconcile with what happened.

“You’re right, we are stronger than this” Jae responded, he really enjoyed hearing the two of them as a collective, they weren’t just individuals anymore, they were also a partnership, two people who chose one another and wanted to build their life together and there was a certain beauty in that. Jae leaned into Han’s touch, he had missed the feeling of his fingers against his skin so much when the two of them had been apart, it was hard to describe. Han had made a lot of mistakes, Jae had made his own share of them too but at the end of the day, the thing they wanted most was to make this work and as long as they were aligned with that then he was convinced they could overcome the rest. The way Han repeated his assurances back to him made Jae smile “Always has been, baby” he spoke softly, he only had eyes for Han, of course, he knew others were attractive but they could never make him feel so jittery and special as the celestial did, he was sure of that much. He liked being called Han’s, feeling like he belonged with him “I’m yours” he spoke softly in a tone barely against a whisper as he leaned in closer to the fallen star.

The moments between them were tender, both saying a lot of the things they had been struggling to put into the words with the way they touched and kissed one another. The kiss was passionate and a little desperate but it was also loving and showed the way they cared for one another, the gentle touches against one another showing just how much they missed each other and how much they craved these little touches. His hand remained there, pressed against Han’s chest, feeling the heartbeat below his touch and the way the celestial’s hand encased around his which made him feel like the star was silently saying his heart was his. Jae smiled softly against his lips as he looked up into Han’s eyes, it was clear they were both exhausted of being apart from one another as the relief and adoration in their eyes was evident.

Jae laughed softly when Han called him ‘your majesty’ it wasn’t the first time he had done so and he always said it was because he was the king of his heart, which was incredibly cliche but still made the dhampir’s heart flutter every time that he heard him say it “You’re going to take this opportunity for all it’s worth aren’t you” he spoke softly as he held the star close, they had been through such a range of emotions today and the night before but he was so glad that in the end, it has been their feelings for one another that won out. He had a stupid smile on his face as he laid back against the pillows feeling Han lean down against his chest and almost tearing up as he felt that familiar kiss against his hands. Jae’s hand ran through the celestial’s locks as he slept just almost in disbelief that he was really here and the sadness was finally over. He pressed a soft kiss against his hair and closed his eyes “Happy Birthday Han” he spoke softly as to not wake him.

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